January 2, 2012
by bananas
1 Comment

HNY

Happy 1012!

That’s the text message I got from mom on New Year’s morning. I mentioned it when we talked on the phone and she said, “Well when I was typing it, I thought, it just can’t be 2012, that doesn’t sound right.” Which perfectly sums up my mother.

I know that some people hate New Year’s resolutions, but personally I love ‘em. There’s something so optimistic about New Year — a whole year stretching out in front of me, bright and unblemished.

This will be the year of writing. For once, I’m already off to a good start:

  • I’ve got a draft of a middle-grade novel with the working title, The Boy with the Dragon Tear Necklace.
  • I’ve signed up to attend the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators conference in Manhattan the end of January.
  • I’ve gotten in the habit of writing every single day (well almost), even when it means getting up in the wee hours to do it before work.
  • I’ve committed to a monthly writer’s group, which is already off to a fantastic start.
  • I’ve dusted off this blog and started posting more than once a week!!

So really, all I have to do in 2012 is maintain momentum.

Easy, right?

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December 30, 2011
by bananas
4 Comments

Plotting my revenge

The phone rings. What time is it? It feels like the middle of the night.

I look at my watch. Oh. 8am.

It must be important. People rarely call our home phone, especially in the morning. On my day off.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and shuffle to the kitchen.

The caller ID says

LOAN COUNSELING

800-669-0102

Seriously?

These people call us constantly. Daily. We never pick up. We don’t need loan counseling. And even if we did, these people are the last place I’d turn. Calling me at all hours, interrupting my life… The nerve!

But I’m already up. Might as well answer and tell them to take us off their list.

I press the green button.

“Please hold for the next available representative,” says a woman’s voice, dripping with artificial cheerfulness.

Seriously?

I walk back to the bedroom and lie down, phone pressed to my ear. I’m committed now. I imagine what I’m going to say when the representative picks up the phone.

“You called me at 8am and WOKE ME UP, just to put me on hold?!”

As the minutes pass, my indignation grows.

I will teach these bozos a lesson!

They will feel my rage!

I will open up a can of AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME?! on their sorry selves.

My heart is beating a little faster. I am ready for confrontation… hungry for it.

“I’m sorry…” It’s the woman again.

“I have been unable to find a live representative. We’ll call you again later.”

and the phone goes dead.

I throw it against the wall and lie there, fuming.

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