January 5, 2012
by bananas
1 Comment

He’s getting into gold

I open the door and am met by the mouthwatering aroma of simmering wine, butter and garlic. The perfume of the gods… the good ones, anyhow.

Yum.

I take off my coat and hang it over the back of a chair. CJ is sitting at the table, huddled over the laptop.

“Hi CJ,” I say.

“Mom, HOW do you spell diamonds?” he asks. No time for greetings, he’s on a project.

“D-I-A-M-O-N-D-S,” I spell, “Why?”

I lean over his shoulder and peer at the screen. He’s using google to do some shopping. Diamond shopping.

I kick off my shoes and start towards the kitchen.

“Mo-om!” he shouts at me. “How do you spell BUY? Like if you want to BUY something?”

“B-U-Y,” I say and return to my position behind his chair to check out his latest query.

buy gold bricks

Consider this your hot tip of the day–

While some 8-year olds might recommend investing your money in Lego, Transformers, Wii or Xbox, CJ is getting into gold.

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January 4, 2012
by bananas
2 Comments

Back to Work, Part I: Will I be able to get up every single day even when I don’t feel like it?

Almost three years I spent foot-loose and fancy-free before giving up my scruples and going back to work for The Man.

Which is actually sort of a long time. I realize this the week before starting my new job when I am hit rather suddenly with an overwhelming and terrifying bout of anxiety.

Suddenly I’m consumed with thoughts like,

WHAT IF EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT?

and

WILL I REALLY BE ABLE TO GET UP EVERY SINGLE DAY EVEN WHEN I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT?

The prospect of getting up and ready, every single day, is completely overwhelming. No rolling out of bed, brushing my teeth or not and dropping CJ off at school.

No more midday naps and sessions with my trainer.

No more long lunches with the ladies, talking about our kids and husbands and did you hear the latest about Mrs. Simpson, the 1st grade teacher?

No more volunteering in CJ’s classroom. Or at least, a lot less volunteering.

Even the smaller worries such as WHAT WILL I WEAR and WHO WILL I EAT LUNCH WITH and WHEN WILL I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE become fodder for insomnia as I toss and turn in a sweaty late night freak-out.

My sleep is filled with nightmares.

Finally my alarm rings. 6am, time to face the first day.

As I apply eye shadow to my puffy lids, I can’t help but wonder –

Can a paycheck be worth it?

…to be continued.

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