The REAL Neverending Story
June 5, 2007 – 3:11 amTonight, while emptying and filling the dishwasher, my dear husband and I were cracking ourselves up. Laugh along with us, why don’t you.
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Me: The dishes just NEVER END. It’s going to drive me mad!
Jay: Yeah, it’s like the garbage and the laundry. They’re never done.
Me: (nods head sagely)
Jay: Of course there are some people who don’t have that problem.
Me: Who?
Jay: People with full-time maids. (pauses in contemplation) I like to think of you as a full-time maid, but it’s not really working out.
Me: It’s not, huh. (pause) Well I like to think of you as a full-time garbage man, but that’s not working out so well for me either.
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Jay: (takes bowl out of dishwasher) Wow, this egg cup is actually going to take some washing. It’s beyond the power of positive thinking… it’s gonna actually take some elbow grease.
Me: Nah, run it through one more time.
Jay: That’s egg. It’s like cement. (demonstrates it by scraping with his fingernail) It just does not come off.
Me: Let’s just throw it away.
And into the garbage it goes. It was just a little bowl, and inexpensive. who are YOU to judge?
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Yep, we definitely need elves around here. (No offense to the elves, who I’m sure are people too. Well, actually they’re not people. But YOU KNOW what I mean…)
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Hello bubblegum, my old friend
April 15, 2007 – 6:09 pm
I think the last time I chewed bubblegum was somewhere around 7th grade (LA Gears with minimum two pairs of socks pulled up over my stretch pants, complimented by side ponytail). In early high school I switched to the sugar-free mint stuff, probably in hopes of all the kissing I thought I’d be doing, and never went back.
So here I am, 29 year-old mother in my baseball cap and practical shoes, chewing pink bubblegum like it’s going out of style. You know what I discovered? Bubblegum is really, completely, horrifyingly fun to chew!
Pushing my shopping cart, loading up on juice boxes and cereal, chicken breasts and salad dressing, I couldn’t help but CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP. I was aware of the many people all around… of the ridiculous image I must be projecting, yet somehow I couldn’t stop myself. Pwoof– a huge pink bubble. Pop! All over my face. I’m embarrassed, well I feel that I should be embarrassed… but then why am I smiling?? CHOMP CHOMP.
And on it went, for the full hour it took me to get through Safeway and load up my cart with $193.67 worth of stuff. Standing in the checkout line, smiling at the cashier, CHOMP CHOMP CHOMPING. Pushing my cart outside (is that the sun?!) and Pwoof another bubble; the biggest one yet! Pop! It explodes, releasing that unmistakable sweet smell of bubblegum, softly patting my face with the thinly stretched pinkness.
I know it’s silly to say that bubblegum has magical powers. But for this woman, on a rather dull Saturday afternoon, it had the rather incredible ability to lift my mood and make me smile.
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"Three things" extravaganza
April 1, 2007 – 7:26 pmSo it seems I’ve been tagged. If this is way more information than you ever wanted to know about me, don’t blame me, blame NOLA!
Three Things That Scare Me:
1. My hair right now
2. The Doodlebops
3. the rich women who live in Bellevue who all look the same, can’t really smile (Botox?), and drive SUV’s
Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. my son
2. myself
3. Daring Young Mom
Three Things I Love:
1. my son
2. my husband
3. the ocean
Three Things I Hate:
1. cleaning the bathroom
2. that I have to buy sudafed from a PHARMACIST
3. self-righteous people
Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Trackbacks
2. the stock market
3. Botox
Three Things On My Desk:
1. desk? it’s called the dining room table. Hellooo!
2. ummm… just three things?
3. tulips, tiny dragons, papers, camera, The Week, Diet Dr. Pepper, purse, marker, need I go on?
Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. blogging (duh)
2. avoiding housework (always)
3. um, breathing?
Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. write & publish a book
2. grow old
3. be happy
Three Things I Can Do:
1. play the piano
2. snow ski
3. laugh at myself
Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. eat a lowfat diet
2. eat a lowcarb diet
3. be thin like Angelina (see 1 & 2)
Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. me
2. myself
3. I
Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. see
2. previous
3. response
Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. how to be a photographer
2. swing dancing
3. what a trackback is
Three Favorite Foods:
1. coffee, with cream !
2. expensive soft cheeses, preferably from France
3. chocolate croissants, fresh from the oven
Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. we didn’t have TV but I loved,
2. scooby doo
3. smurfs
… and I’m adding:
Three Things I Regret:
1. Not being born with a trust fund
2. How much money I spent rather than saving when I was working
3. Not being nicer to my little sister when we were kids
and finally…
Three Wonderful People (i.e. suckers) to Inflict this Meme On:
1. Peter (you know you want to)
2. Jennifer (because we seem to be on the same wavelength and she knows Spanish…)
3. Undercover Angel (why not?!)
***
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