Vaccinate this.
October 25, 2009 – 11:50 pmIn the last two weeks I have had swine flu and/or pneumonia about sixteen times.
Now, when I say I “had” those things I don’t mean that I actually had them, but that I was pretty sure (100% confident) that I had them. Swine flu. And/or Pneumonia.
Death was imminent.
Only I didn’t. And it wasn’t.
Which, when you calculate the freak-outs and heavy breathing and HOURS spent on webmd.com and cdc.gov, can result in only one thing: a mild feeling of disappointment.
I mean seriously.
I think it’s great that the government is madly working to create vaccines for this piggish flu.
But I also think it would be helpful if they put a bit of effort towards other things. Like making the test for swine flu available over the counter.
This is a good idea on so many levels. First of all it could be a great revenue stream. I’d probably buy, like, 100 of them if this week is any indication. And I know that, as far as demographics go, I represent a big old heap of crazy.
It’s also a good idea because if we could test ourselves for swine flu, then we would know if we’d had swine flu, which would help us opt in or out of the whole SHOULD I VACCINATE BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MERCURY IT HASN’T BEEN TESTED OH YES IT HAS IT’S ALL A BIG FREAKING CONSPIRACY BUT OBAMA SAID I SHOULD debacle.
One more brilliant idea while I’m feeling inspired…
They should make a web browser just for hypochondriacs. Here’s how it could work. If you type in a search like “strange symptoms neck throbbing sore throat swine flu?” or try to navigate to websites like webmd.com or click on freaky news links such as “President declares swine flu a national emergency” you’d just get a picture of a soft fuzzy bunny with some Enya playing softly in the background.
Like this.
Don’t you feel better already?
I do.
Bunnies are amazing.
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By Carrie on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
I feel completely CURED after reading this Jenny! ;) Can soooo relate.
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By Middle-Aged-Woman on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
I think you are on to something here. I think you need to start bunnydoc.com. Sweet bunny pictures to make everyone feel better. Really.
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By Dumblond on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Ooooh bunnies…sooo sooooothing…..zzzzzzzz
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By Wendy on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
yes! i had to force myself to stop reading online about flu. now the kid has had fever for 3 days. blech. if only i had an otc flu test to know if that’s what it is…. (i’m kinda thinking it’s not; fever only high in evening, low grade otherwise)
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By jaec on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
I think my cough is better!
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By Kathleen@ForgingAhead on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Great idea! Now, go patent it and make a boatload of cashola!
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By Carla on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Pretty sure 3 out of 4 of our kiddoes have had swine flu. Can we say that? Is that PC? H1N1.
Love the bunny. Love Enya.
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By Jeniel on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Bananas, I’m so glad you’re back! I have been pining for one of your fabulous blog posts for five LONG weeks! I’m glad to hear you are doing better. Me and my kids have been off and on near death for about 3 wks now. I am quite sure I am about to be fired any day now. LOL Anyway, I love your blog! To show my love, I am giving you an award. Please come to my site to collect it. :)
http://whatswrongwithmommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/another-award-oh-me-oh-my.html
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By Pepper on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Ahh, bunnies, I love bunnies. But I have to say that my house trained bunny was not much of a comfort while I was fighting some sort of flu with my 6 month old. Blah.
But I would have loved to know if it was swine flu so I could not worry about giving my little ones one more shot. Need OTC tests!
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By Scout's Honor on Oct 27, 2009 | Reply
Definitely feel better. Heh. Glad I am not the only one freaking out. Made my son literally wash his hand 12 times at doctor’s office because people looked sick, or he touched the dirty toys, or he looked at the dirty toys…
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By Kaye on Oct 27, 2009 | Reply
You had me rolling. Thanks for the pick-me-up. I haven’t been sick (yet), but I still thoroughly enjoyed this! =)
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By tracy on Oct 27, 2009 | Reply
Swine flu is some scary stuff!! I have a daughter in a college dorm right now and luckily there has been no cases in her building there has been some on campus.
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By http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/ on Oct 28, 2009 | Reply
Sign me up for the bunny doc. He looks very smart!
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By kate on Oct 29, 2009 | Reply
I just sort of stumbled across your blog while avoiding actual work this afternoon - horray for hypochondria! My boss has started yelling at me for getting on webmd - if he walks out and I’m on their sympton checker, he will seriously make me get up and walk away. That damn website has convinced me that I’m currenly suffering from at least twelve types of cancer, ebola, failing organs and so on and so forth…I have a problem.
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By Stephanie on Oct 29, 2009 | Reply
Hi there,
I found you be linking from a friend’s blog (to a friend’s blog that led to you). This is a GREAT post. I’m a fellow hypo and you’ve summed up the way I feel perfectly!
Especially the website for us with the bunnies and Enya.
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By Julie Wheatley on Oct 31, 2009 | Reply
Thanks Jenny, you made me smile!
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By Tara R. on Nov 1, 2009 | Reply
Might as well make the test OTC. I had one done in my doctor’s office and was told they were only accurate 10-70% of the time. That’s a huge margin of error.
Have to be careful with mixing bunnies and swine flu. Someone is bound to complain about a hare in his vaccine.
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By Jenny Carson on Nov 1, 2009 | Reply
I am a little leary of the vaccine since they are rushing it through. But then I do not have to worry about it now. My step kids got the swine flu last weekend and they are better now and I somehow managed to not get it.
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By amy2boys on Nov 2, 2009 | Reply
Brilliant. I feel better and I’m not even sick!
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By Reluctant Housewife on Nov 4, 2009 | Reply
Bunny!
Kittens work too.
And vegetables shaped like faces, complete with googly eyes (have you seen those?).
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By WorkingMom on Nov 5, 2009 | Reply
It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about getting the vaccine whether you’ve had H1N1 or not… unless you work on Wall Street. If you missed it, MSNBC was reporting this morning that some corporations are getting the vaccine… ahead of our kids, pregnant women, our kids who have asthma and other medical conditions… oh, yeah, and prisoners in Massachusetts are getting it first too.
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By Unplanned Cooking on Nov 9, 2009 | Reply
They should sell ad space on cdc.gov. I spend more time there than I do on-line shopping!
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By heidi on Nov 23, 2009 | Reply
Looking forward to a new post!! I am a new reader and have been checking back to see if you’ve written recently..hope the flu hasn’t gotten hold of you!
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By creative type dad on Nov 25, 2009 | Reply
I feel better, but what if that bunny has “bunny flu”
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By Brian O'Mara-Croft, Author, Lost in the Hive on Nov 30, 2009 | Reply
I’d feel more at ease if the bunny exploded at the end of the song…but that’s just me.
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By RobbieLee at Chickiedee on Nov 30, 2009 | Reply
I’m glad you don’t have the Swine Flu! I love the bunny pic, it makes me miss my bunnies growing up!
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By Melina on Dec 1, 2009 | Reply
Bunnies and corgis. So amazing.
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By Hillsy on Dec 2, 2009 | Reply
Nice idea with the over the counter swine flu test. It would be nice if they offered such a thing after all the hype about it. I guess they aren’t really doing swine flu testing anymore though. My friend went to the doctor a while ago and they didn’t test him. Just told him it probably was swine flu and to take a week off work. Come back if it gets any worse.
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By Brittany at Mommy Words on Dec 5, 2009 | Reply
I love the bunny. It would make me laugh instead of spend all night googling things. That would make me happier. And I would get more sleep, and heal myself in the process. Altogether a fab idea!
BTW I love that he asked for a clean house. Priceless!
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By Alexis AKA MOM on Dec 6, 2009 | Reply
Girl you crack me up, love the web browser idea! LOL Got to love us moms we’re so all over what is new going on. Even when it’s curing everyone with what we find on WebMD … LOL
It was great meeting you this weekend, hope we can meet up again.
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By Bonnie on Jan 9, 2010 | Reply
Hilarious. But having already had it… can’t say I’m that worried about it. My two-year-old was over it in two days and I just lay around napping for a week (or tried to, as much as said two-year-old would allow me). Some websites were helpful… once the doctor had told me I had it and I wanted to know more because she can’t tell me much in a ten-minute appointment. :)
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