Mamma said there’ll be days like this

We all have deep dark secrets and I’ll confess one of mine if you don’t judge me.

Sometimes I feel superior and smug. Like I’m a GOOD mom and I have my life all sorted out and my child is well behaved. Until the inevitable cosmic smack-down puts me firmly back in my place, reminding me that I am NOT such a good mother and my life is NOT so very in order and my child is DEFINITELY NOT well behaved.

I’ve had this feeling the past few weeks that I don’t want the summer to end. It’s going so well and CJ and I are getting along and it’s warm and I love not having to keep a schedule. Other mothers bemoan the fact that school doesn’t start until the 9th (so late!) and secretly I disagree. Until today.

I’m whipping up homemade pancakes like one of those “good moms” on an after-school special. Fresh! Healthy! Fluffy! The pancakes are a lot of work but that’s the kind of mom I am. I mentally pat myself on the back as I set out a plate of hot cakes with a side of neatly chopped fruit and a frothy glass of milk.

I turn back to the kitchen to clean up my mess (because that’s what GOOD MOMS do.)

ZING! Just barely, out of the corner of my eye, I see it… something flying through the air.

I whirl around, spatula in hand. CJ Is eyeing me warily. His eyes nervously jump from me to the wool rug where a freshly cut piece of syrupy pancake lies face-down.

“CJ!!!!!!!!!” I bellow and immediately he’s up and negotiating,

“But mom I was just feeding Bella!”

“YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED BELLA FROM THE TABLE!”

He smiles nervously. slyly. “But mom, I DIDN’T know that.”

“THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL TO ME TO THROW THE PANCAKES I MADE FOR YOU ON THE FLOOR! IT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO OUR HOUSE TO MAKE MESSES LIKE THIS! AND IT’S BAD FOR BELLA!”

CJ’s smile has gotten smaller, but it’s still there. Hopeful. Amused.

“GO TO YOUR ROOM!” I howl and pick up the piece of pancake, sputtering obscenities.  CJ vanishes.

I pick up his plate and dump the freshly prepared breakfast down the drain. I stand by the sink, fuming.

Time goes by… enough that I’ve calmed down and told CJ in no uncertain terms what I think about his behavior. I pull out my to-do list.  I’ve been meaning to wash Bella for a week now, and there’s no more putting it off.

I heave a sigh and drag her into the bathroom. Bella hates having a bath as much as I hate giving her one. She looks at me with doleful eyes as if to say, “do you really hate me so much?”

This is the time when I wish I had a tiny dog that could fit in my purse and which I could dunk in a bowl of water to clean.  Washing Bella is an arduous task and painful- kneeling on the hard bathroom tile. But finally I finish and get to work blow-drying and brushing her long white coat.

It’s such a pain but she is awfully nice and fluffy at the end of it.

It feels GOOD to get things done! I mentally pat myself on the back. So on top of it! Checking off boxes!

It’s lunch time and I decide to make sandwiches.  I open the door to let Bella into the backyard and start smearing mayonnaise on bread.

Somewhere between the lettuce and the ham Bella slips through the fence into our neighbor’s yard. Our neighbor’s yard that was just excavated yesterday. Our neighbors yard that is covered in mounds of fresh loose dirt.

Bella is leaping and prancing with plumes of dirt filling the air around her. She prances like a whirling dervish. Like a BAD BAD BAD DOG. A VERY VERY BAD DOG.

“BELLLLLLAAAA!” I howl.

She rolls on her back. Her freshly cleaned and brushed coat… still slightly damp… is brown.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

CJ comes running. He looks at Bella and shakes his head.

“She’s in TROUBLE.” he says.

And so I catch the dog. I haul the dog downstairs to be bathed a second time, muttering obscenities under my breath.

And it’s only 1:00.

***
Like what you're reading? You can help me achieve my life-long dream of publishing a book by supporting this blog, which is a platform that can help me get published! (Click here to learn more about my book) There are lots of ways to show your support:

• Subscribe by RSS or Email
• Like Absolutely Bananas on Facebook
  
• Share this post on Facebook (click the link below "Related Posts")
• Tell a friend about Absolutely Bananas
• Leave a comment. They're like candy, but without the calories. :)

Thank you for your support! It's incredibly encouraging simply to have people reading what I write.
xo Jen

Related Posts:

• To be a parent
• She likes to move it move it
• On skin color

Share on Facebook