Mamma said there’ll be days like this
August 27, 2009 – 1:51 pmWe all have deep dark secrets and I’ll confess one of mine if you don’t judge me.
Sometimes I feel superior and smug. Like I’m a GOOD mom and I have my life all sorted out and my child is well behaved. Until the inevitable cosmic smack-down puts me firmly back in my place, reminding me that I am NOT such a good mother and my life is NOT so very in order and my child is DEFINITELY NOT well behaved.
I’ve had this feeling the past few weeks that I don’t want the summer to end. It’s going so well and CJ and I are getting along and it’s warm and I love not having to keep a schedule. Other mothers bemoan the fact that school doesn’t start until the 9th (so late!) and secretly I disagree. Until today.
I’m whipping up homemade pancakes like one of those “good moms” on an after-school special. Fresh! Healthy! Fluffy! The pancakes are a lot of work but that’s the kind of mom I am. I mentally pat myself on the back as I set out a plate of hot cakes with a side of neatly chopped fruit and a frothy glass of milk.
I turn back to the kitchen to clean up my mess (because that’s what GOOD MOMS do.)
ZING! Just barely, out of the corner of my eye, I see it… something flying through the air.
I whirl around, spatula in hand. CJ Is eyeing me warily. His eyes nervously jump from me to the wool rug where a freshly cut piece of syrupy pancake lies face-down.
“CJ!!!!!!!!!” I bellow and immediately he’s up and negotiating,
“But mom I was just feeding Bella!”
“YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED BELLA FROM THE TABLE!”
He smiles nervously. slyly. “But mom, I DIDN’T know that.”
“THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL TO ME TO THROW THE PANCAKES I MADE FOR YOU ON THE FLOOR! IT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO OUR HOUSE TO MAKE MESSES LIKE THIS! AND IT’S BAD FOR BELLA!”
CJ’s smile has gotten smaller, but it’s still there. Hopeful. Amused.
“GO TO YOUR ROOM!” I howl and pick up the piece of pancake, sputtering obscenities. CJ vanishes.
I pick up his plate and dump the freshly prepared breakfast down the drain. I stand by the sink, fuming.
Time goes by… enough that I’ve calmed down and told CJ in no uncertain terms what I think about his behavior. I pull out my to-do list. I’ve been meaning to wash Bella for a week now, and there’s no more putting it off.
I heave a sigh and drag her into the bathroom. Bella hates having a bath as much as I hate giving her one. She looks at me with doleful eyes as if to say, “do you really hate me so much?”
This is the time when I wish I had a tiny dog that could fit in my purse and which I could dunk in a bowl of water to clean. Washing Bella is an arduous task and painful- kneeling on the hard bathroom tile. But finally I finish and get to work blow-drying and brushing her long white coat.
It’s such a pain but she is awfully nice and fluffy at the end of it.
It feels GOOD to get things done! I mentally pat myself on the back. So on top of it! Checking off boxes!
It’s lunch time and I decide to make sandwiches. I open the door to let Bella into the backyard and start smearing mayonnaise on bread.
Somewhere between the lettuce and the ham Bella slips through the fence into our neighbor’s yard. Our neighbor’s yard that was just excavated yesterday. Our neighbors yard that is covered in mounds of fresh loose dirt.
Bella is leaping and prancing with plumes of dirt filling the air around her. She prances like a whirling dervish. Like a BAD BAD BAD DOG. A VERY VERY BAD DOG.
“BELLLLLLAAAA!” I howl.
She rolls on her back. Her freshly cleaned and brushed coat… still slightly damp… is brown.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
CJ comes running. He looks at Bella and shakes his head.
“She’s in TROUBLE.” he says.
And so I catch the dog. I haul the dog downstairs to be bathed a second time, muttering obscenities under my breath.
And it’s only 1:00.
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By Annie on Aug 27, 2009 | Reply
My mamma never told me there’d be days like this - that’s why I still have such a hard time accepting that this motherhood gig isn’t all smiles and roses lol!
I have missed reading your blog :)
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By Kerrie on Aug 27, 2009 | Reply
If it weren’t for days like this, what would we write about? :) When were you saying school starts? hehehe.
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By Erin on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
It’s funny because I had the same experience. I mean, not with the pancake and the dog, but I was all regretting the end of summer and sending my son off to first grade and getting all sentimental and then my children decided to remind me why I do so love it when my older boy is in school. LOL. Poor kids. Poor me. Really, the only people who benefit from days like this are the Ben and Jerry.
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By Just Jiff on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
LOL.
I think those of us who love our kids and work our butts off to do things right get the feeling of smugness every once in a while. Then reality decides to smack us in the head to remind us that no one is perfect and it keeps us in our place. lol.
I too wish I had a nice petite puppy, but I have a Collie and a Siberian Husky. Ugh.
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By Jenni on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
Trying hard not to laugh… but I too can relate to this!
Although, my situation is being at work while the kids are home in the summer, and I have to handle these things OVER THE PHONE. Eek. I never know what my house will look like when I get home– thankfully, my girls started back to school on the 17th… so my house is quiet during the day!
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By DaddysFishBowl on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
Wow, what a horrible start to the day. We’ve all been there, so try to find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone.
I usually get the “smug” feeling from time to time, but something ALWAYS happens to keep it in check and bring me back to reality.
I think you handled the pancake incident way better than my wife would have. Just don’t tell her I said so, lol
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By jaec on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
So glad you’re back. I was getting worried. Maybe you were just having fun–making pancakes and playing with Bella.
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bananas Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:26 am
You’re so sweet! The truth is I’ve been so busy having fun this summer I’ve had very little time for blogging! Not that I’m complaining… :)
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By Gentry on Aug 28, 2009 | Reply
Laughing! It seems each time I start on my good mom kick I get a good swift kick in my arse too. At the beginning of summer William was a dream child. A total doll. (Now don’t tell anyone this, but he was my favorite kid at that moment in time). I was so sad that he would start full day school this year. Now my 2 year old, I would have gladly booted off to boarding school. Somehow over the summer the 2 year old snapped out of her phase and Will snapped INTO a bad one…and long story short I am LOVING the nice quiet house right now as the baby naps and William is GONE!!! :-)
By the way, Cooper LOVES baths. How crazy is that? He just sits there and lets me wash him in the tub. He doesn’t even shake. My last do was like Bella all the way. I supposed its God’s way of smiling down on me and knowing I needed a break at this time in my life!
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By My Semblance of Sanity on Aug 31, 2009 | Reply
Sounds similar to my LASAGNA on the WHITE CARPET day I had a couple days ago…when the twitching finally stops I will blog it!
Some medication might help me to be able to talk about it….
a stiff drink…
some loud music and a stiff drink…
Hmmmmmmmmmm
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By Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca on Sep 2, 2009 | Reply
LOL! The joys of life, huh? :O)
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By Kayla Lewis on Sep 2, 2009 | Reply
Thank god Im not the only one who has these days. And I want you to know while I was typing that last sentance my son threw up all over me. Cheers.
Kayla Lewis
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By Tracy on Sep 3, 2009 | Reply
So who are these other mothers who are bemoaning the fact school starts so late??? You wouldn’t be talking about me now would ya??? ;)
Hilarious - laughed quite hard actually.
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By Ashley on Sep 10, 2009 | Reply
That is an awesome story! I can’t wait for fall, even though my kids aren’t old enough yet to be in school.
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By Crystal on Sep 24, 2009 | Reply
Poor thing. Wow! I had a “mama said” post too, you can check it out http://marvelousmasons.blogspot.com/2009/09/mama-said.html
And, sounds to me like Bella wanted that pancake and was upset that you didn’t let her get it. How dogs sometimes act like humans. Adorable.
By the way, you are an EXCELLENT writer. I am enjoying every post. (I’m new if ya can’t tell)
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