It starts as a glistening bead that grows to a trickle. Before I know it I have a torrential downpour of warm liquid streaming down my back between my shoulder blades.
My brow is dotted with glistening sweat beads and my shirt is… well… damp. Even my feet are sweating.
It might not be scientifically proven but I’m pretty sure that when sweat leaves the body it takes with it all good things. Things like patience, tolerance, a sense of humor, and the will to live. They seep out onto the surface of my skin and then evaporate into the air leaving behind a mass of steaming hot meanness.
Like right now… I’m looking at Jay but he’s distorted, viewed through a haze of blood red RAGE. My hands clench and my breath puffs out in short angry bursts. I would leap across the room to strangle him but it’s just. so. hot.
He is wiping up the dog poop that CJ tracked in from the back yard only he’s doing it WRONG, dabbing at it with a paper towel which obviously just smears it around. I tell him this but he doesn’t appreciate my criticism maybe because of the dripping edge of disdain with which it is presented.
And just like that we’re facing off across the kitchen hurling angry words and piercing glares.
Usually we get along but I’m just. so. hot. and it makes me want to kill someone.
Sorry Jay… you were there.
***Like what you're reading? You can help me achieve my life-long dream of publishing a book by supporting this blog, which is a platform that can help me get published! (Click here to learn more about my book) There are lots of ways to show your support:
- Subscribe by RSS or Email
- Like Absolutely Bananas on Facebook
- Share this post on Facebook (click the link below "Related Posts")
- Tell a friend about Absolutely Bananas
- Leave a comment. They're like candy, but without the calories. :)
xo Jen
July 28, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Sweet little baby Jesus, I am right there with you. At 8 p.m., it was EIGHTY-EIGHT degrees INSIDE my house.
Needless to say, there is not a single word Mr. Bee could say to me right now that wouldn’t get the response of, “I AM SWEATING RIGHT NOW. DON’T TALK TO ME!!!!”
July 28, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Oh I am SO with you on that one. We decided to take off in the (air conditioned) car to the city and hide out in the (air conditioned) malls, shopping only at the (air conditioned) stores and eating outside by the water before coming home.
The two things I miss from our USA vacation? The maid service and the air conditioning.
July 28, 2009 at 10:17 pm
I voluntarily loaded up a 23-month-old and a 8-week old and drove to Bellevue in rush hour traffic today, just to have an excuse to be in the air conditioned car.
And I’m pretty sure I hate my husband, because he’s from Hong Kong and doesn’t seem to think that it’s THAT hot here. I am a 5th generation northwesterner and am dying. And it’s only going to get worse tomorrow. **Weeping**
July 28, 2009 at 11:11 pm
yeah.
just … yeah.
July 29, 2009 at 6:31 am
I’m the same way as you when the heat gets to me. God help anyone who is in my way.
Also, here seems to be a lot of HOT going around recently.
July 29, 2009 at 6:44 am
I can SO relate! My husband thinks its crazy when I complain about it being hot in the house. I can’t tolerate the indoor temp being 80 or more… thats my threshold for turning on the A/C. He thinks I am crazy!
July 29, 2009 at 6:51 am
Funny how heat can do that to a person.
July 29, 2009 at 7:25 am
Yeah, being hot and sweaty can def do that. And add in dog poop on carpet… that will DEFINITELY add to it.
July 29, 2009 at 8:11 am
Yes, we Seattlites just aren’t equipped for 100 degree heat.
Ugh, I feel for you. Sorry about the dog doo.
July 29, 2009 at 11:15 am
I can SO relate to this. I hate the heat.
July 29, 2009 at 11:57 am
You wouldn’t like our VA summers. Hot and humid. But July has been unusually cool this year. . .hmmm. . .
“But now I am six. . ” poem is from a longer one by A.A. Milne. . .it starts “When I was one, I was just begun,”
July 29, 2009 at 12:23 pm
It’s not the heat so much as the NO ESCAPE… no one in Seattle has AC so you just sit and sweat. All. day. long.
July 29, 2009 at 9:54 pm
I spend the rare hot SF day either in a cold shower or laying in front of a fan. Hang in there!
July 30, 2009 at 6:46 pm
This heat brings out the worst in me too, for sure! I just did a post about it on my blog. What a horrible heat wave!! I’m about to die!
July 31, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Please don’t move to Mobile. You will feel this way 9 months out of the year.
Hey, maybe Wally and I should move to WA. We would never fight again.
August 6, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’ve been there, too :(
August 12, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Oh I love Seattle, but I DON’T miss those weeks where it spiked 90 degrees. It made took the enjoyment out of sipping coffee–and heck that is a huge perk of living in Seattle is the coffee, lol!!
Run to the beach! Ferry over to Bainbridge for the day. It really is awful out there during those times. At one time we lived in a town home that got direct west sun and it was just awful. To this day I will not buy a place (air conditioning or not) that gets direct west sun.
I will say I miss the mountains incredibly but the best thing about moving to Ohio (besides the super affordable housing!) has been the air conditioning, lol!
It can’t last that much longer–cooler misty foggy days are a head.
August 16, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Hey! What’s going on over there? Heat get you down permanently? Are you done blogging? We miss you out here, you know!
August 16, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Aw, man, I get SOOOO grouchy when it’s hot outside! I’m just not used to this heat so it seems like it’s one more thing I have to deal with! Not like we don’t have enough to deal with, right? When the temperatures rise, the tempers get short!
August 17, 2009 at 1:10 am
It’s a wonder that my marriage has lasted 7 years, because every summer this is exactly what happens to me. My poor hubby has learned to just walk away, which of course makes me even more mad, but he’s not there to care.
August 20, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Heat… especially plus humidity… tends to turn me into an ogre. A misting fan does WONDERS in these situations, as we found out at Disney World and a couple of days later at outdoor mini golf last week! Turns families from gorillas into princes and princesses. :)
September 24, 2009 at 11:25 am
Really? No air in Seattle? Not even window units? If not, I have an extra one from when we lived in Ohio, I will ship it to you. Poor thing. I know you are dying, I would be too. Ugh. Is it hot all the time there?
November 19, 2009 at 10:21 am
as a woman who gets hot flashes…I hear you:)