I think it’s a case of the “druthers.” You’druther be working because, right now, it feels more edifying. I’m hearing that you miss the gratification of having a task that actually gets completed, rather than continues infinitely.
As a former SAHM, who is now back in the work world, what I can tell you is that it works if you make it work. That old saying about “if mom is happy everyone is happy” is true. It’s not selfish to want to feel fulfilled. Your kids will be happier if you are happier.
I do agree with the comment about it works if you make it work, but there is still a lot of gray area there that i am still working on. I believe with everything in me that you can make your own hope. Hope for your life, your family, your work , whatever. I am sure that as a SAHM we all experience the same sort of set backs and daily challanges. I am a mother of a 2yr girl, living in arizona.(the hottest place it seems to be in the summer) My husband works and drives our only car. When the weather was cooler taking the bus or the train all over was great. But now that the 3diget temps have hit, taking her to the nearest bus stop blocks and blocks away is rough at the least. So i am the one going bananas now.
I agree with Jillian - the question isn’t whether or not to be an SAHM or a WOTHM (work outside the home mom) - it’s a question of which one of these choices would make you the happiest. Your statement “one where I take this job and pursue my career and grow distant from my family and CJ is unhappy and so am I” makes it seem like a forgone conclusion that you would grow distant from your family and everyone would be unhappy. I’m a WOTHM - always have been (except for maternity leaves) - and I am happy. And my kids are happy. And I am certainly not distant from my kids, nor they from me. Is it a cake walk, being a WOTHM? Nope. But neither is being a SAHM. Kids can tell when mom’s happy. So, if being a WOTHM makes you happy, your kids will benefit from that. Likewise, if being a SAHM makes you happy, your kids will benefit from that, too. Choose happiness. And if rejoining the workforce makes you miserable, you can always go back to being a SAHM.
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By Jillian on May 26, 2009 | Reply
I think it’s a case of the “druthers.” You’druther be working because, right now, it feels more edifying. I’m hearing that you miss the gratification of having a task that actually gets completed, rather than continues infinitely.
As a former SAHM, who is now back in the work world, what I can tell you is that it works if you make it work. That old saying about “if mom is happy everyone is happy” is true. It’s not selfish to want to feel fulfilled. Your kids will be happier if you are happier.
Jillians last blog post..The results of the new color debacle
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By Anna on May 27, 2009 | Reply
MID LIFE????!!! I hope you are not in mid life, because that would mean I am too! You can do it, what ever IT is.
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By maria on May 28, 2009 | Reply
I do agree with the comment about it works if you make it work, but there is still a lot of gray area there that i am still working on. I believe with everything in me that you can make your own hope. Hope for your life, your family, your work , whatever. I am sure that as a SAHM we all experience the same sort of set backs and daily challanges. I am a mother of a 2yr girl, living in arizona.(the hottest place it seems to be in the summer) My husband works and drives our only car. When the weather was cooler taking the bus or the train all over was great. But now that the 3diget temps have hit, taking her to the nearest bus stop blocks and blocks away is rough at the least. So i am the one going bananas now.
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By Kathleen@ForgingAhead on May 28, 2009 | Reply
Crisis? Nope. Just life my friend. Throws us these curveballs to keep us on our toes and living.
Kathleen@ForgingAheads last blog post..Athleta Chi, Sage Rountree and Me
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By Heather Hillary on May 31, 2009 | Reply
I agree with Jillian - the question isn’t whether or not to be an SAHM or a WOTHM (work outside the home mom) - it’s a question of which one of these choices would make you the happiest. Your statement “one where I take this job and pursue my career and grow distant from my family and CJ is unhappy and so am I” makes it seem like a forgone conclusion that you would grow distant from your family and everyone would be unhappy. I’m a WOTHM - always have been (except for maternity leaves) - and I am happy. And my kids are happy. And I am certainly not distant from my kids, nor they from me. Is it a cake walk, being a WOTHM? Nope. But neither is being a SAHM. Kids can tell when mom’s happy. So, if being a WOTHM makes you happy, your kids will benefit from that. Likewise, if being a SAHM makes you happy, your kids will benefit from that, too. Choose happiness. And if rejoining the workforce makes you miserable, you can always go back to being a SAHM.
Heather Hillarys last blog post..Feathered Friends - the Doctor
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