They say that there are some people- normal people- who can see a brownie or a french fry or a big hunk of cake and say, “That looks good but I’m not hungry right now” and then walk away without even looking back.
Then there the less fortunate ones who see that same brownie or french fry or hunk of cake and, even if it’s rather stale, all we can think is foooooooOOOOOOOD! and eat it all in one gulp and then lick the crumbs off the table, floor, and the arm of that funny looking guy sitting next to us.
SOME people call it compulsive eating. Those of us who are cursed with it know it better as “oh I shouldn’t but… NOM NOM NOMMMM SNORT GRUNT GULP”
One thing I decided when I became a mother is that MY CHILD would be one of the normal ones. He would grow up with a healthy relationship with food in which he CHOSE to eat carrots rather than candy and never battled with the scale. Not even once.
Because everybody knows if you just PARENT correctly your kids will grow into adults who don’t have even a single flaw.
right
So a while ago I started noticing that CJ was exhibiting behavior that… well, made me nervous about his relationship with food. Things like drinking syrup right from the fridge or pounding a whole giant bag of jelly beans or (gasp) sneaking pudding cups.
And the more I pushed and controlled and constrained the sneakier he became, getting up at 6am to eat fruit roll-ups in front of the TV and hiding chocolate chips in a shoebox in his room.
THIS IS A VERY BAD SIGN! I thought, CLEARLY I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG!
And, like any good obsessive mother, I hurried to get my hands on everything I could read about raising children who have a NORMAL relationship with food.
Which is how I found the book Preventing Childhood Eating Problems
It says things like,
Let your child decide what to eat! When to eat! How much to eat!
Let them eat ice cream for breakfast! Soda for lunch! Pretzels for dinner!
If he wants a bag of candy, buy him six bags! Give him his own candy shelf!
There are no bad foods! Stop assigning good and bad values to food!
Really? I think, Can that be right?
And how can you say COLORED SUGAR IN A PACKET with a stick for scooping it out is not a bad food?
So I decide to give it a try.
“Today we’re starting a new way of eating,” I tell him, “You get to decide what you want to eat and when to eat it. All I ask is that you listen to your stomach and eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.”
CJ looks at me with eyes the size of layer cakes. ”Anything I want? Like… like even ice cream?”
“Yep. Even ice cream.”
“You’re the best mom EVER!” CJ strains forward in his car seat to give me a kiss. He looks so… happy.
I’m pretty sure I’ll never top this… he’ll only like me LESS from here on out.
The minute we walk in the door CJ makes a beeline for the freezer. He serves himself up a big bowl of ice cream and eats the whole thing.
“Mom,” he says to me, “My stomach says it wants CANDY.”
So I drive him to the store and buy him SIX BAGS of candy. Three of candy corn and three of sours. No one can accuse me of being half-hearted in my commitment to this plan. Even so I feel slightly ill and can’t help but wonder if I’m not a bad mother after all.
We get home and I help CJ open his six bags of candy. ”Remember,” I chant at him, “Only eat when you’re hungry! Listen to your stomach!”
And so he proceeds to eat his way through an entire bag of candy in the first night.
It’s ok, I try to soothe my panicked self, he has to test it. This is all part of the plan.
The next morning CJ is up at the crack of dawn and has finished off another half a bag by the time I drag myself out of bed. Gleefully he races through the house chomping on candy corn and bouncing off furniture.
Jay stares after him in disbelief. ”This is a terrible idea!” he moans. But I hold firm. This is all part of THE PLAN.
As the week wears on I can’t help but notice that CJ’s inhalation of the candy doesn’t seem to be waning. He moderates his intake just enough to keep from making himself sick. He carries the candy everywhere, popping a bit every minute or two.
And as he chomps and nibbles, my worry grows.
I can’t help but picture him ending up like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory- all swollen and enormous ballooning to larger and larger sizes all the while clutching that wretched bag of candy corn. “I thought I was HELPING him!” I moan while the other parents shake their heads and look away in horror.
At night I stay up late googling the title of the book and “problems” or “doesn’t work” but my searches bring up nothing.
“I’m telling you,” Jay says, “It’s a bad idea. He’s never going to stop eating candy.”
I’m starting to think he might be right.
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xo Jen
March 4, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Well, Jay’s probably right that CJ will never stop eating candy. Candy tastes good, and it’s addicting. BUT, he will probably tire of only eating candy soon. There’s really only so much anyone can eat, even a child. He’ll start realizing that too much candy is making him feel not quite right. His body will also start craving other foods, and CJ is old enough to voice what it is his body is telling him.
I’m curious to see how this all pans out. Please keep us informed.
Hillarys last blog post..By George, I Think She’s Got It!
March 4, 2009 at 11:31 pm
if cj starts to crave broccoli, you’ll let us know, right?
the planet of janets last blog post..We put the "fun" in dysFUNctional
March 4, 2009 at 11:43 pm
I think Hillary hit it right on the head.
We’ve always had tons of junk food in the house and the kids are welcome to have basically anything they want, whenever they want it. And it still surprises me that when I make my shopping list and ask for requests, I hear things like bananas, yogurt, broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. The request for veggies is always followed by “and make sure we have ranch dressing.”
Chriss last blog post..Vaginal What??
March 4, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Definitely keep us posted on this one – I give Chicken Little one sugar choice a day but I don’t buy processed food anymore (although I make tons of stuff) so I’m dying to know how this one goes. I don’t want him to hate me but his behaviour on preservatives, additives and straight sugar is unbearable!
March 5, 2009 at 3:44 am
I think that’s a fine theory, but I am pretty confident that my daughter would never tire of junk. While I agree those foods will present issues if they are outlawed, I’m not sure this is the solution. How I wish I could eat like that though.
Scary Mommys last blog post..It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
March 5, 2009 at 5:37 am
I so wanna know how this turns out. I can see you’re worry though. I’ve be freakin’ losing my poo if Carter was eating candy non-stop for days. LOL
We’ve taught Carter to ask before he eats something – we started from the very beginning and he’s only three so it probably doesn’t mean anything – but if he asks for candy, I give it to him (unless it’s like 6am or right before dinner) but if it’s out of sight, he really doesn’t even think about it.
I am really wondering what it’s going to be like once he hits CJ’s age though.
Thinking about you! Keep us up-to-date!!
March 5, 2009 at 6:12 am
I think it is a great idea. We recently took a Love and Logic class and the bedroom time lesson has the same principle. They can stay up as late as they want…in their room. They need to wake up at 6am and get ready for school, without complaining. After all, can you fall asleep on demand? They need time to figure out how to wind down and fall asleep.
These lessons take a while to learn but it will be worth it in the long run.
Lauras last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Elvis and the Sock Hop
March 5, 2009 at 6:36 am
Based on my own experience, I have to think that this will work. As a child, there was always junk food in the house but we weren’t allowed to eat it very often. As a result, I became a master as hiding and sneaking junk food. Which also explains why I’m 23, married, and there’s a box of fruit snacks hidden in my closet. Keep us posted, I’m extremely curious to hear how this all pans out.
March 5, 2009 at 6:36 am
When I was little this would have been me. My mom wouldn’t buy candy and made me spend my own allowance or birthday money on candy. Let’s just say I never saved any money and kept gobstoppers in business.
midwest mommys last blog post..Woo hoo!
March 5, 2009 at 7:22 am
I’ve got a little nephew, he’s the youngest like me…he has an obsession with candy. The stomachaches and the sickness do not deter Coop. He completely forgets about them when the yummy goodness of a peanut butter cup hits his lips. I am intrigued by this though, I’m curious as to how this shapes up.
Melindas last blog post..I’ll Never Be a Cold Weather Baby…
March 5, 2009 at 8:02 am
I think I will try this very thing…with myself. I wonder if I’m going to have Hershey or Snickers for breakfast?
Actually I have always thought severly limiting a child’s access to sweets will lead to problems eventually. Really hope your plan works!
Charlottes last blog post..Why I tend to spend Saturday morning in bed
March 5, 2009 at 8:27 am
Growing up I had friend that had their own candy drawer. They could have candy whenever they wanted it, but they rarely ate any of it.
If it’s always there, there is never a feeling of I have to eat it before it’s gone. He’s just been given his free pass… so he’s going crazy, before it’s taken away. I think you may need to have another conversation with him, along the lines of…
The candy and ice cream will always be there, you can make your choices, but I expect you to make good choices based on what your body needs. We’re going to try this for x number of weeks, then we’ll talk about how you are doing making your own choices. If you can’t handle this and continue to eat nothing but candy I will have to go back to making your food choices for you.
It’ll put the responsibility on him to curb the candy intake and choose his food. It might also help that instead of having him run around with a bag, that it is all in one spot (like a jar or a drawer) and he has to keep coming back to the jar if he wants more.
Barbaras last blog post..Handmade Pay It Forward
March 5, 2009 at 8:29 am
I’m anxious to see how this all works out for you, because I’d like to have an open policy in my house eventually for the same reasons.
March 5, 2009 at 8:53 am
Have you heard of Geneen Roth? She writes books about Emotional Eating and being “mindful”, her website is http://www.geneenroth.com/. Anyway, she says the same thing as that book you read, that you should tell the binge eater that they will always have a full supply of whatever it is that they like, candy or chips or whatever, you should keep whole cupboards full of it. Then, she says, when the person sees that they don’t have to overeat because that food might never be available again, they will self-correct and stop wanting to eat it.
Yeah, right. I have a McDonald’s a block away from my house. I can basically have it any time I want. Has that made me want to stop eating it? Um, no. I don’t know what the answer is, both my boys eat like there is never going to be food again, whether it’s healthy food or treats. My oldest will eat an entire bag of baby carrots. But keeping cupboards full of candy bars and freezers full of ice cream can’t be the answer.
Elizabeths last blog post..Krispy Kreme Coffee FAIL
March 5, 2009 at 10:56 am
Growing up, we were allowed candy & hostess treats at mealtimes & snacktimes, but in moderation. I have a pretty big sweet tooth still, but I think that since we were allowed to have it there wasn’t (as much) temptation to sneak it (We still did from time to time), but we still had to eat healthy foods too. My lunches at school consisted of: Sandwich, Fruit, Fruit snacks, Hostess treat, candy, & cookies. I know, sounds awful doesn’t it? But there was never actually enough sweet stuff to fill me up, so I had to eat at least SOME of the healthy stuff too. I was a very active kid & have a fast metabolism, so it worked for me, but I know it wouldn’t work for everyone.
Sherilyn -Dominee Huisvrouws last blog post..A New Favourite
March 5, 2009 at 11:23 am
Can I tell you how happy I am that you’re doing this experiment instead of me? Please please please more updates!
March 5, 2009 at 11:58 am
You have to update us on how it goes. I am very interested. I was discussing this with my girlfriend this AM and wondering if the book could be right.
March 5, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I let my kids have candy/sweets whenever. It doesn’t take long for them to realize they need healthy food first or they get a big old tummy ache. So they ask “can I have …whatever”
I say “yeah, eat something healthy so you don’t get low blood sugar”
By the time they eat the something healthy… They usually forget. My kidlets are 24, 16, 13, 9, 3, and 14 months. Honestly, the only thing we have issues with here is pop. They drink it till its gone. So as of New Years– Momma doesn’t buy pop. Funny thing- their Gram got them hooked.
March 5, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Growing up, we never had junk food in the house. We had things like Cracklin’ Oat Bran and Grape Nuts (although, have you seen the sugar content in COB?) Anyway, my youger sister would sneak the stool into the pantry to reach the BAKING chocolate. And, once when we were on vacation, I went into the a public restroom stall after my little sister (because I knew she was up to something) and found the remnants of about 10 empty Equal packets carefully stashed on top of the toilet paper holder thing. I, as the oldest sister, NEVER did anything like this, of course. Unless you count the time my mom found me under my bed with a half-eaten gingerbread house.
I think some of the other commenters are correct. Just have it around all the time and he’ll get used to it. But then you have to get used to it, too. That would be my problem. :)
Kerries last blog post..Just a Mom
March 5, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Boy, do I have a lot to say on this topic. (Brace yourself, my friend.)
My twin sister was obese from the 2nd grade on. We now know that she has brain damage and it was a result of that but at the time? Food and all associations with it were a constant issue, struggle, discussion in our house.
Add to this that my parents were depression kids so they could have tabasco sauce, moldy cheese and some Miracle Whip in the fridge and there was “Plenty to eat!”
When something good did come into the house, it was DEVOURED.
When I got into middle school where there were vending machines, I would skip lunch and buy crap with my money BECAUSE I COULD!
The more freedom I got, the more I made sucky eating choices. It is little wonder I reached 300 lbs. I still make not great choices even after gastric bypass, but I keep the weight off and have much more normal habits.
My husband and I fight about junk in the house. He would have NONE, I tell him normal amounts of exposure to sugar is important so that it is not a big deal. I think we’ve reached a good compromise and things that are ‘bad’ are not devoured like they were in my house. They go at a more normal pace.
One of my kids is normal food wise, the other eats too much to the point we were getting concerned with his weight. I make sure they both are outside playing as much as possible and the rule is that they has to eat all veggies we give him at dinner before seconds (Seconds cannot be as big as firsts.).
But the biggest help is that I have started having a baggie full of veggies that he has to eat from after school to dinner. If he is ever caught cheating by throwing it away he’s in TROUBLE. As long as those things happen, I let the other stuff go and he’s free to eat what he wants because I know a good deal of his stomach is taken with good things.
And we don’t tell him why we’re doing this other than he needs to make healthy choices.
My parents focusing on our weight and food consumption and what made it so much worse.
I think if they had verbalized I could have whatever I wanted I would have chosen candy every single time. However, if they had done what I have with my son without focusing on my flaws, it wouldn’t have been as big a deal. (She said with the awesomeness of hindsight)
Keep us updated. I am totally interested in how this works.
Loralees last blog post..Sideblog: Eco-friendly Etsy Shop
March 5, 2009 at 1:21 pm
thanks for the comment, loralee- I really appreciate your perspective on this topic! It is fascinating (and confusing) to read everyone’s responses as to how they were raised and the choices they’re making for their children. I wish the answer was obvious or easy. I will keep you posted on how this all turns out!
March 5, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I am really, really enjoying reading everyone’s responses on this. It is hugely helpful to hear how other people grew up and what you’re doing with your own children. Keep it coming!
March 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Ha! Just wrote about a similar topic on my blog. Is children & food crisis in season? I say, do what feels right. Don’t forget to listen to your inner mommy voice (daddy’s inner voice is pretty vocal) I think you know what the result will be, I can feel the hesitation in your writing. Just don’t sit in “I donno” lala land for too long, cause it’s hard to reverse a habit especially in junior.
PS I voted for you, Vinny D is so hot in pink! :o)
Amys last blog post..Live Long and Coupon!
March 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm
You are a brave one. I just could not go that route just like that. I can’t wait to hear how your experiment turns out.
March 5, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I think the concept is decent. Thinking of my own boys…my 5yo used to be all about the sweets ALL the time. Now he’s learning and understanding more about what makes his body grow and work best and realizes that milk and veggies and fruits are good. He’s starting to want to eat dinner as well, so I think it’s something that they can learn with a gentle nudge. That said, we don’t really keep them from junk food, hell, I offered cake for breakfast and he chose a banana! So I think there is a lot to be said for allowing them junk.
And thinking about myself, HONESTLY, having junk around does make me want to eat it more, but I know for a fact that if I allowed myself brownies ALL DAY, I would not really want one again for a LONG time. There may be more to this than we think….hmmm….
March 5, 2009 at 6:06 pm
i. can’t. get. past. the. picture. of. yummy. brownies.
MommyNamedAprils last blog post..Daddy Has the Magic Touch. Blissfully Domestic Buzz. A Giveaway. And. Bubbles!
March 5, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Oh my! Am I responsible for telling you about this book? :)
Mica (2 1/2) just ate half a chocolate bar… he kept begging for one more piece, one more piece, so I set down the rest (six squares were left). He screamed whenever his brother or I came near and then ate it all.
It feels scary to do… it seems crazy to not have limits but it also seems sane (as you say).
With my older son (five) — it wasn’t as hard because he just naturally wasn’t as interested in eating so many sweets.
In general, while I agree with the book, I tend to walk a middle line… not have lots of sweet things in the house but if then I don’t put limits on what we do have in the house.
Please keep us posted… They do say that the candy eating will abate… One woman I know went through a MONTH of her daughter eating nothing but cupcakes. But they found their way back to balance. After a MONTH.
Stacy (mama-om)s last blog post..February Finds
March 5, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Okay so the way I’ve heard it, you let them eat what they want when they want but you keep MOSTLY healthy stuff in the house so he can’t eat 6 bags of candy but there’s candy sometimes.
On an unrelated sidenote, this winter I had a workout buddy, who knows all about my weight issues, tell me that I looked like Violet Beauregarde in my blue puffy winter coat. She could not comprehend why this would be upsetting to me in any way.
daring ones last blog post..Daring Young Mom’s Fertility Guide
March 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm
This is a fascinating discussion. I agree that making something verboten is the surest way to make it attractive. And yet, I had a friend who could eat anything she wanted whenever she wanted growing up, and she became severely anorexic — which is not even remotely to say there is a causal relation between the two, but rather to say that access to sweets or not is not the ONLY thing that will determine a child’s eating preferences. In my friend’s case, self-esteem and control issues took precedence over availability.
I do think that the advice to talk to CJ about WHY making healthy food choices is a good thing (my 5yo son, for example, knows why protein is important) will help empower him. Then if you let him make *informed* choices, he can have as much candy as he wants because he will naturally also want other things for other reasons. In theory.
I can’t wait to read an update on how this is going!
MommyTimes last blog post..The Post in which Half the Content is Parenthetical (For Reasons I Can’t Explain)
March 6, 2009 at 5:29 am
Hilarious! I’ve had many of the same thoughts. I’m beginning to think that our attitudes toward food are hardwired, rather than a product of our environment. My girls are just as big of sweethounds as I am, much to my chagrin…
jenns last blog post..Another Snow Day. Oh, Goody.
March 6, 2009 at 9:11 am
um ya, I came from a strict home where there was no candy, ice cream or chips. Our “treats,” consisted of fresh fruit which me and my siblings would get into fistfights over…
I did go a bit buck wild as an adult when I could have pop tarts and things, but over all, my taste in food is very naturally low fat and healthy.
Let me know how this plan goes because I tend to be on the strict side.
Aimees last blog post..My First Blog Give Away!!!!!
March 6, 2009 at 12:03 pm
This is fascinating. So, what are you going to do? So often I think those parenting experts are wacko.
debbies last blog post..I have a hot little number for you today
March 6, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Although I now only working sporadically as a consultant, before my baby was born I spent five years as a child nutritionist.
Please read Ellyn Satter’s “Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family” or “Your Child’s Weight: Helping without Harming.”
This philosophy talks about the Division of Responsibility in which the adults are responsible for WHERE food is eaten, WHEN food is eaten, and WHAT is offered. Children are responsible for IF and HOW MUCH they eat.
Yes, great to not have good/bad foods, good to offer “treat” foods on a regular basis (e.g. snack time is cookies and milk and you can have as many cookies as you want), but children also need some limits. Regular meal and snack times is the biggest one, and exposure during these meal and snack times to a variety of foods which adults model eating is essential for life long healthful eating.
March 6, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I will definitely check these books out. Thanks for the tip.
March 6, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Maybe yes and maybe no. As a kid my sister and I were allowed sugar cereals and candy and ice cream. Honestly after awhile the novelty of it wears off and we started eating a lot of fruit and one of our favorite cereals was Cracklin Oat Bran and Grape Nuts!
It might not work with everyone but it kind of sounds right. I still prefer fruit to candy.
Popping over from the Virtual GNO at Ann Again!
Andreas last blog post..A Virtual GNO Virgin
March 6, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I was always allowed, actually encouraged to eat whatever I wanted. I was thin as a rail until I got married and my husband convinced me I should eat “Right” now I am “not normal” and need to lose 30 lbs. so perhaps in the long run?
Christinas last blog post..Counting Down
March 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Ugh.
And now I want brownies.
Dang.
March 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm
You HAD to show that picture, didn’t you? Nevermind that I’m on a diet, but still BOUGHT the brownie mix- I’m blaming it on you and the picture!
tenas last blog post..Friday Fragments, Finally!
March 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm
It will work out. Stick to it. However, don’t provide a zillion sweets, keep sensible stuff in the house w/ moderation of sweets.
My cousin is now 25 and struggling to get over an eating disorder she’s had since she was 12. They controlled what she ate when she ate and how much she ate.
And I hear too many stories of kids who were never allowed treats and then they go off to college and gain 50 pounds in a month because they gorge themselves. Not healthy for the body.
All in moderation.
Yayas last blog post..Friday Fragments/Focus Friday
March 6, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I love this post! I recently realized I was calming my child with food. She loves to eat, so when she was upset I would feed her. So not good. I’m just hoping it’s not to late to change her thoughts on it (she’s only 2).
I’m 5’9″ and 112 lbs, because of a fast metabolism, so I’ve never had to worry about food issues. My inlaws are different, so I realize I need to start paying attention to these things for my daughters.
And just on a side note, I was always allowed to eat whatever I wanted. I think I make semi sensible choices. I think as a kid I ate more pickles than anything..lol.
Stacey Kaspareks last blog post..Warmer weather
March 6, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Just dropping in from the VGNO to say hellow.
March 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm
If i do the same plan will the pounds stay off????
I wish you all the luck, one would hope he gets sick and says “mommy i don’t wanna feel like this anymore, make it better!” I don’t know though, i think it depends on the kids. my son would barf up a hot dog and go back for another. my daughter would cry and say “i never want a hot dogs again!!”
have a great weekend!!
came on over for VGNO *cheers*
Lizzies last blog post..My Daughter Is A Creepy Person!
March 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm
I love this post! Definitely let us know what happens. I’m intrigued.
Coming to you via VGNO!
March 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm
The more we deny, the bigger the craving. I’m convinced of it. That being said, I also live with the rule of all things in moderation. Happy VGNO!!!
Elizabeths last blog post..Virtual Girls Night Out – TGIF!!!
March 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I agree with Elizabeth – the more we deny, the bigger the craving. I know even if I deny myself some guilty pleasure, I crave it even more…I see that happen with the Princess Nagger, too – so all things in moderation seems to be working quite nicely so far… I’ll be curious to see how this all plays out for you! :)
Stopping by from Ann’s – Happy VGNO! :)
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)s last blog post..Virtual Girl’s Night Out – with a Giveaway!
March 6, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Stopping in from VGNO. Happy Friday!
megryansmoms last blog post..Skin MD Review
March 6, 2009 at 7:25 pm
i never had the courage to try your little experiment. i operated on the premise (i made it up all by myself!) that a palate can be trained. so from the very beginning my kids were fed vegetables. all kinds of vegetables. fruit (gerbers jar stuff) was diluted with rice or whatever that powdery stuff was so they weren’t getting all that sweetness. fruit juice was never around. water and milk…that was pretty much it. in fact, junk food was pretty scarce around our home.
fast forward a handful of years…my boys are now 21, 17 and 13 and i think i can say that my premise was pretty accurate. they love good food. they eat their veggies and crave salad.
and when they’re not eating cookies and ice cream and potato chips, or hitting taco bell’s drive-thru, that’s exactly what they eat. :-p
March 6, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Oh wow! That is certainly an interesting idea. I don’t know if I would be gutsy enough to try it. Happy VGNO. And hey I have a giveaway going on at my place – stop by. :)
Upstatemomof3s last blog post..VGNO with a GIVEAWAY
March 6, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I had a candy stash when I was little (usually leftovers from holidays, Halloween), I ate all the good stuff pretty quickly (snickers, reeses, etc) but the other stuff like hard candy and suckers lasted forever. lol. I do think you may be on the right track though, the “forbidden” is more tempting…now to find those brownies… Happy VGNO!
Alisons last blog post..VGNO – Women of Worth!
March 6, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I don’t think there’s a simple answer for all kids…every kid is different and every parent relates to their kids different. At the same time, though, I can attest to the fact that the more something is off limits, the more they’re gonna want it. Why do I know this? Because I’M THE SAME WAY!! I dunno…play it by ear and improvise. lol
Hi from VGNO!
Jennica
March 6, 2009 at 8:36 pm
First, Happy Friday! I am stopping by from VGNO. This was very interesting. I wish you all the luck on this long journey.
We have an eight year old who is a vegetarian. Our family is vegetarian. People always comment on how we are depriving our son. Depriving of what? This is all he knows. He’s had a piece of candy or two and eats in moderation. Heah, this kid also suggests his own lunch. I know you might think what are his options, but there are many. He asks for broccoli, carrots, pears, veg turkey sandwiches, and etc. Yes, turkey meat made from soy. LOL! Don’t knock it until you try it.
Bahiyah S.s last blog post..Are you your worst enemy?
March 7, 2009 at 8:30 am
We have candy around our house all the time. The kids could pretty much eat it whenever they wanted. Yet we have candy leftover from last halloween, and candy leftover from Valentine’s day that is uneaten and ignored. The first couple of days they get some new candy they’ll eat some and then they just kind of forget about it and dont care.
I do think this method can work it’s just that it would take time. It’s just always been this way here and I think suddenly changing things will initially cause a big swing the other direction until things level out.
March 7, 2009 at 9:03 am
As a fellow compulsive eater (check out http://www.radiantrecovery.com), I have had the same concerns about my own kiddos. I have found books by Ellyn Satter to be very helpful, but I’ll be eager to see how your experiment works out. Better you than me trying this one, heh.
(Here from VGNO). :D
March 7, 2009 at 10:47 am
(Disclaimer: I didn’t read any of the 50 comments above, so expect some duplication)
Sweet Vishnu what a horribly wretched plan! Just because somebody has a degree and did a study and wrote a book doesn’t mean they know shit.
Surely he will get to a point to where he starts to tire of sugary goodness somewhat, but do you suppose that will be before or after he goes into a diabetic coma?
Did you ever see War of the Roses? They tried the same thing with their kids and it completely backfired on them. Not that using a Michael Douglas movie is any better than a book by some r-tard w/a PhD.
It just doesn’t make any sense AT ALL. Let your child hurt themselves now, for the eventual hope of a possible tiring of and/or mental shift away from unhealthy foods? No no no no no! Stop immediately! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and always thought you to be much smarter than this! I mean seriously… seriously? I don’t even know what to say (possibly because I’ve already said too much).
I realize getting kids to eat well is a struggle; we’ve got three of ‘em at home and it’s an uphill battle for sure. But as with anything worth doing (i.e., raising a healthy, independent child), it’s probably going to take some hard work.
Jays last blog post..10 Things That Went Through My Head While Getting a Root Canal This Morning
March 7, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I am sorry for your situation, I know it must be terribly confusing and concerning for you and I wish I had something of value to add to the conversation. But I took one look at that brownie picture up there and went all Cookie Monster NOM NOM NOM NOM and now all I can think about is brownies and ice cream and candy. So really, I have nothing more to say, except grmm lrnmm, which is good luck said with a mouth full of brownie.
bejewells last blog post..T.G.I.F.
March 8, 2009 at 8:50 am
I’ve tried this on myself. It doesn’t work. Especially when I wake up in the morning and found cookie crumbs in the bed and in my pjs.
sheilas last blog post..We are but a speck.
March 8, 2009 at 4:27 pm
That is a very interesting idea. I think maybe the key is to balance the good with the bad – to not necessarily restrict him, but not to give him free reign either? haha I really have no idea but I look forward to reading what you decide!
Jen E @ mommablogsalots last blog post..What I Believe
March 9, 2009 at 7:58 am
Your second paragraph? That would be me.
You are brave. I’m not sure I could take 3 boyz hopped up on sugar running around my Trenches for days on end.
Good luck! Can’t wait to hear how this “ends”.
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..Friday – Part I of My Fishful Thinking Experience
March 9, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I was just reading about this in an article by Geneen Roth as well. It worked in her child’s case, so who knows.
It has never worked for me. I am one of those eat-everything-sweet-in-sight people- fairly certain I would never tire of having a “chocolate cupboard”.
March 10, 2009 at 11:23 am
Wow. What an interesting experiment. My kids would be bouncing off the walls and running around in circles. So, I can’t say I would do it, but I can’t wait to read what happens with CJ. I’m wondering if it would affect his teeth as far as getting cavities, let alone trying to get him to sleep at night with all the sugar. Let us know.
And thanks for being so brave in writing about this. I’m sure you could get a lot of negative judgement for it — but he’s your kid, right? Good for you!
pixies last blog post..How to Cook a Good Husband
March 10, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I think maybe presenting them with choices and letting them make a balanced diet of them is the idea. Desserts and treats are okay in small quantities. My son ate nothing but pb&j sandwiches, carrots, cheese, apples, and an occasional cookie for lunch all the way through elementary school–every day, no exceptions. It was embarrassing (what kind of mom does that), but he went to a small school, and eventually that was the lunch the kitchen would make for the class when they went on field trips. He’s grown up, healthy, has a much wider food repertoire, and 3 kids of his own to deal with!
March 10, 2009 at 6:16 pm
So, maybe for the next few days you should make like all his favorite kinds of food so that way he has a choice of another good thing. Maybe even go out to eat for pizza or whatever he likes…no doubt he’ll be cravin’ something like that! Usually kids don’t like being left out of family things, so like movie and pizza etc…
Jennifers last blog post..This is Me
March 11, 2009 at 11:53 am
sooooo, how’s it going? still candy-gorging?? (my child would be…)
March 11, 2009 at 1:17 pm
I learned this general theory in a community class for parents. But the way they said it was: You, the parents, choose what to offer for your meals, and the children choose what they want to eat and how much. That way you can have a combination of proteins, veggies, grains, etc. but they control what they eat. Over time they will choose more variety and grow up without emotions tied to food.
March 11, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I know that my oldest would NEVER tire of having ice cream or some chocolate variation everyday, all day.
Are we sure this book wasn’t written by an 11 year old?
Ann Harrisons last blog post..Violet And Her Bouffant
March 12, 2009 at 7:17 am
Definitely let us know how this turns out! I’m interested, but very dubious. Just because it worked for one mom/child doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. My son is too young to let loose, so I’m In Charge. For now. =)
WackyMummys last blog post..Awards Time
March 12, 2009 at 5:19 pm
This is a really interesting theory, I look forward to finding out how it goes for you!
Leidys last blog post..I am not a Doctor
March 12, 2009 at 8:53 pm
This is hilarious! I’m wondering what your dentist would say about your little experiment! ;)
Seattle Moms Deal Finders last blog post..Nordstrom.com ~ Free Shipping With Any Shoe Purchase
March 12, 2009 at 9:10 pm
I am on the fence about this one. I think to some extent kids definitely can make decisions on their own for themselves, but on the other I think parents are there to regulate and intervene if necessary. Definitely a good idea to try, but holy cow, how long do you continue to try it? Please post on how this works. I am dying to hear what happens.
Heidis last blog post..much ado about nothing
March 13, 2009 at 10:30 am
I want some!!!!!
Lunettes last blog post..What’s going on with…?
March 24, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I just lost my loooong and well thought out comment. Grrrrrr
In a nutshell, we’ve parented our kids with this philosophy since they were young. They’re teens now and are great at making healthy choices. When they indulge, they seem to understand that they need to balance in some better choices the next time. It takes time, but it’s a good learning experience for everyone. Expect CJ to binge for awhile. But he WILL stop.
zenmommas last blog post..Like mother, like daughter?
March 24, 2009 at 10:49 pm
As a mother, I am also pretty concerned about the eating habits of my daughter. As much as I would like her to eat healthy, it’s really hard. She wants to eat burger, burger and more burgers. I have tried sneaky ways on how she would eat more vegetables but on her own, she wont have any of it. I am just glad though that she doesn’t like sweets that much. I realized that the more I deprived her of the stuff she wanted to eat, the more she craved for it. Now. I let her induldge a little once in awhile. Hope your plan is working.
Mom To A Preschoolers last blog post..What You Need To Know About Marriage Counseling
August 1, 2009 at 12:46 pm
That would scare me too! I would think my wife lost her mind if she let our son eat candy all the time! Keep us posted on updates though, I think you may be on to something.. I would like to know. Does it say what age to start this? You’ve spiked all of our curiosity! I thought you were brave after the spider!
Later!