Stinky ethics

** last saturday **

“Here’s a question for you,” Jay says from across the picnic table.  I look up from my lemon poppy-seed donut just long enough to nod that he should continue.

“Let’s say you’re walking Bella and she poops right next to another pile of poop that someone else left behind.  Ethically speaking, do you pick up both poops?  Or just hers? Or do you just leave ‘em both figuring that you’re not leaving the situation that much worse than you entered it?”

“Well obviously the RIGHT thing to do is pick up both of them,” I say.  ”that way some unsuspecting person doesn’t step in dog poop.  So you’re being a good citizen.”

Jay doesn’t look very pleased with my answer, and I have a hunch as to why.

“What did you do?” I ask.

“I left them both.” He says, “it was gross!”

I mull this over while I take another bite of donut.  ”You realize,” I say, “that you just proved the theory that one bad deed inspires another.”

He nods and looks slightly ashamed.  

“And also you are now destined to step in dog poop.  Karmically speaking.”

Jay isn’t a fan of this idea.  ”No I’m not!” he says, “I just gave a poop bag to a guy who didn’t have one!  So that cancels out the other thing.”

“No way,” I say, shaking my head smugly, “that only means that some day you’ll need a dog poop bag and someone wil give you one.  You’re totally stepping in dog poop.”

** today, around 11:00 **

I’m walking Bella and marveling at the spring-like weather.  Blue skies!  Robins! Crocuses peaking up through the dirt!  It’s good for the soul, I think.  When suddenly Bella starts doing the fast-walk-hunker. Also known as the I’ve-gotta-go-dance.

So I stop and wait while she does her business… RIGHT NEXT TO a massive pile of poo that someone else left behind.

THIS is karma.

I stare at the piles, one fresh and steaming, the other slightly cooler but no less disgusting, and then I pull out the poop bag.  I’ve got to pick up both of them, I tell myself.  I just HAD this conversation with Jay.  

But even as I think it there’s the OTHER voice in my head that’s going 

EWWW!  Gross!  And also, HOW INCONSIDERATE!

From a purely gut-reaction standpoint, my instinct is to walk away.

But instead I dutifully lean down and scoop up both piles, then look around for a garbage can.

The garbage can is further away than I’d hoped… Far enough for me to have to carry that heavy bag of poo, swinging from my carefully extended fingers, wafting that oh-so-horribly-familiar odor.  I’m pretty sure most of the smell is coming from the other dog’s poo… the rude and inconsiderate pile.

The whole experience is almost enough to ruin the robins and the crocuses.  Even the blue sky seems a little yuckier, somehow.

And I can’t help but think, as I deposit the unseemly package, that I don’t feel particularly GOOD about my good deed.  

Isn’t doing the right thing supposed to be a reward in and of itself?  Aren’t you supposed by buoyed up by the pure rightness of your actions?  Shouldn’t the world seem brighter and righter… a better place because I made the right choice?

That’s what I tell CJ.

But from where I’m standing, it just stinks.

***
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