Stinky ethics
February 12, 2009 – 1:56 pm** last saturday **
“Here’s a question for you,” Jay says from across the picnic table. I look up from my lemon poppy-seed donut just long enough to nod that he should continue.
“Let’s say you’re walking Bella and she poops right next to another pile of poop that someone else left behind. Ethically speaking, do you pick up both poops? Or just hers? Or do you just leave ‘em both figuring that you’re not leaving the situation that much worse than you entered it?”
“Well obviously the RIGHT thing to do is pick up both of them,” I say. ”that way some unsuspecting person doesn’t step in dog poop. So you’re being a good citizen.”
Jay doesn’t look very pleased with my answer, and I have a hunch as to why.
“What did you do?” I ask.
“I left them both.” He says, “it was gross!”
I mull this over while I take another bite of donut. ”You realize,” I say, “that you just proved the theory that one bad deed inspires another.”
He nods and looks slightly ashamed.
“And also you are now destined to step in dog poop. Karmically speaking.”
Jay isn’t a fan of this idea. ”No I’m not!” he says, “I just gave a poop bag to a guy who didn’t have one! So that cancels out the other thing.”
“No way,” I say, shaking my head smugly, “that only means that some day you’ll need a dog poop bag and someone wil give you one. You’re totally stepping in dog poop.”
** today, around 11:00 **
I’m walking Bella and marveling at the spring-like weather. Blue skies! Robins! Crocuses peaking up through the dirt! It’s good for the soul, I think. When suddenly Bella starts doing the fast-walk-hunker. Also known as the I’ve-gotta-go-dance.
So I stop and wait while she does her business… RIGHT NEXT TO a massive pile of poo that someone else left behind.
THIS is karma.
I stare at the piles, one fresh and steaming, the other slightly cooler but no less disgusting, and then I pull out the poop bag. I’ve got to pick up both of them, I tell myself. I just HAD this conversation with Jay.
But even as I think it there’s the OTHER voice in my head that’s going
EWWW! Gross! And also, HOW INCONSIDERATE!
From a purely gut-reaction standpoint, my instinct is to walk away.
But instead I dutifully lean down and scoop up both piles, then look around for a garbage can.
The garbage can is further away than I’d hoped… Far enough for me to have to carry that heavy bag of poo, swinging from my carefully extended fingers, wafting that oh-so-horribly-familiar odor. I’m pretty sure most of the smell is coming from the other dog’s poo… the rude and inconsiderate pile.
The whole experience is almost enough to ruin the robins and the crocuses. Even the blue sky seems a little yuckier, somehow.
And I can’t help but think, as I deposit the unseemly package, that I don’t feel particularly GOOD about my good deed.
Isn’t doing the right thing supposed to be a reward in and of itself? Aren’t you supposed by buoyed up by the pure rightness of your actions? Shouldn’t the world seem brighter and righter… a better place because I made the right choice?
That’s what I tell CJ.
But from where I’m standing, it just stinks.
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By Ashlie- Mommycosm on Feb 12, 2009 | Reply
I SO can’t wait to hear about it WHEN he steps in dog poop. I agree, he SO will.
Sometimes Karma does stink.
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..I hereby FIRE myself as a mom OR Why my son will mention Valentine’s Day 2009 to his future therapist
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By Midwest Mommy on Feb 12, 2009 | Reply
Good for you! At our townhouse the neighbors dog always comes where my dogs go, right outside our patio. They never clean up. It drives me nuts!
Midwest Mommys last blog post..What a tease!
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By staciesmadness on Feb 12, 2009 | Reply
awe you are a better person than I (and Jay) ;)
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By Twisted Cinderella on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
Good for you!
Twisted Cinderellas last blog post..I am a horrible mommy!
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By Reluctant Housewife on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
Someone keeps letting their dog poop in my yard. I don’t have a dog but my husband and I have had to pick up dog poop over and over again this year. It’s disgusting and there are bi-laws against this, I’m sure.
I like what you did MUCH more than what your husband did. Dog poop leaver-behinders are among my least favourite people right now.
So Yay for you. Thank you for picking up those two piles. you ROCK.
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By Just Jiff on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
I LOVE this post. SO FUNNY.
And you are totally right.
I can’t wait til he steps in a big fresh steamy pile. :)
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By Kaye on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
I think it’s funny that I am willing (although not happy) to pick up our dog’s poop but find the thought of picking of another unknown dog’s poop nauseating. Wow…how does that work in my head?
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By PositivelyAnna on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
I am new to your blog and I love this post. It is amazing the things I do out of spite or because I scolded someone else for not doing it, like recycling, exercising, eating right, volunteering, etc. etc. And I would have probably picked up the other poo too and cursed the whole way to the trash can.
PositivelyAnnas last blog post..2/12/09 - Surprises on the East Side of the Danube
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By scarlett on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
You are totally right about picking up the other poo. I go to the off-leash park almost every weekday. Almost every visit I end up picking up poo that doesn’t belong to my dogs. Sometimes because it’s next to what my dog just did. Sometimes it’s because it’s right on the path and I almost stepped in it. But I never let a dog owner sneak away from picking up their dog’s deposit if I see it happening.
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By Amy on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
Well the good news is, that the fact that we humans pick up after our dogs is purely in consideration for well, other-humans. But don’t forget, dogs are of the earth just like us and the trees and the birds and all so picking up after your dog is a society based consideration which is why you don’t “feel” good picking it up for someone else. The Karmic truth is that dogs are supposed to poop…right out in the open. That’s natural. Nothing nature or the universe didn’t intend. Ya know? We don’t really HAVE to pick it up, but we do it cause others hate it. So your choice…no real Karma involved here…Yay 1 for CJ! Tell him I want my money in Chuck-e-Cheese coins. LOL
Amys last blog post..Patriotically Impaired
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By Wendy on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
And you thought being a dog owner was all monogrammed dog bowls and fancy collars! See, SO complicated. I think picking up other poop depends….like how big is your bag, how big is the poo, how far away is the trash, how close is the nearest other person who might see you, stuff like that.
Are you going to dog parks on weekends? We always had some infraction or other occur there (never us! always someone else being a jerk, of course!). I swear a fight almost broke out once!
Wendys last blog post..Beware the “The”: The Amazing Grace, a movie review
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By Christina on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
I think I may have picked up the other pile and left Bella’s. I HATE picking up warm poop!! *gag*
Christinas last blog post..45 Minutes of Hell
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By Kerrie on Feb 13, 2009 | Reply
Hahaha! And, what Kaye said is so true. For some reason, picking up someone else’s dog’s poop is way worse than scooping up your own dog’s stuff. Why is that?
Kerries last blog post..Beware of Bubbles
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By sheila on Feb 14, 2009 | Reply
ha ha ha. And yes, that IS so gross and inconsiderate. Who leaves the poop? I mean besides “Mr. Karma is gonna get your ass”? lol. Please post the karma-tic post when it happens, ha haha!
Picking up other dog crap is disgusting, but in that circumstance, I guess I would have too.
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By creative type dad on Feb 14, 2009 | Reply
I hate it when some people don’t pick up after their dog.
I actually yelled at a kid (around early 20’s) a few weeks ago when his little dog pooped and he walked away like nothing happened.
I’m still angry just thinking about it. I hope he stepped in a HUGE pile of poop.
creative type dads last blog post..FREE Last Minute Creative Valentine Gifts
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By the planet of janet on Feb 15, 2009 | Reply
you will, of course, let us know when he steps in a steaming pile, yes?
the planet of janets last blog post..Weekly Winners: February 8-14
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By Mathew on Feb 15, 2009 | Reply
First - how amusing is it that so many are willing to comment on a post about poop!
Second - another hypothetical. . . what if it was from your kid??
I was changing one of my boys the other day at a grocery store. As I pick him up to the bathroom changing table, we are greeted by well-used Huggie. All senses were assaulted, including sight as it wasn’t even sealed up into one of those little diaper egg-rolls.
So, from Jay’s perspective, should I have just left it there :) ?
Mathews last blog post..I love this guy
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By Mo on Feb 15, 2009 | Reply
Remember you would always make SURE I had TWO bags with. Not just one, but two.
Also, in a pinch remember you can use an empty coffee cup, which is why I ALWAYS stop at the coffee shop before walking….
Ah, dog poop. I’m so glad you’re in the club.
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By striver for sanity on Feb 18, 2009 | Reply
Redeemtive poo disposal will surely wipe your karmic slate clean!
Isn’t the plural of crocuses croci? If not, should be.
striver for sanitys last blog post..Clank, Clank
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By Nicki on Feb 24, 2009 | Reply
I am freaking DYING over here! Seriously, hooooo! That was a good one.
Nickis last blog post..Happy Mardi Gras
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By pam on Mar 6, 2009 | Reply
ew. hypothetical questions are highly over-rated. and. plus. i never come out looking good in them.
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By Antonella on Mar 13, 2009 | Reply
hilarious!!
and yay for good karma, you’re surely amassing lots of it
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