Impatience is my MIDDLE name

Meet my little sister.

My little sister who, it just so happens, is pregnant. (And totally, unreasonably, ridiculously cute. Isn’t it annoying?)

But back to the pregnant.  At this very moment, sis is very very VERY pregnant.

In fact, her baby was due LAST MONDAY.  (that’s over a week ago, FYI).

The weird thing is, mom and I are totally freaking out wIth a capital AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! while my strangely calm and cute kid sister says things like, “the baby will come when he’s ready,” or, “I’m not worried.”  She’s all zen while I run around like a chicken with its head cut off. 

It’s totally annoying.

And it makes me wonder… when did SHE get all grown up and mature?  

And how is it that I missed that boat?

And what’s with all the CUTENESS?  

It’s all I can do to keep from calling her every five minutes shouting IS THE BABY COMING YET? ARE YOU HAVING CONTRACTIONS AND DO YOU THINK TODAY IS THE DAY and can you show me how to do my makeup like that?

I have to sit on my hands and hide my phone but even these desperate measures don’t work so I call my mom and she shouts into the phone, IS SHE HAVING THE BABY AND ARE THERE CONTRACTIONS?!

Mom and I are cut from the same cloth, it would appear.

She calls me tonight and says — deadly serious– “I had to tell your father that he had better get himself ready to go.  Because I will NOT WAIT AROUND when that baby is coming.  He WILL get left behind.”

And I don’t know if HE knows but I know that she means it.

“I JUST WANT THE BABY TO BE HEEEEERE!” I howl at my sister, who is sitting serenely on the couch sipping tea.  ”I feel like calling you ALL THE TIME!”

“You can call me,” she says… then pauses and adds, “Just don’t ask if I’m in labor.”

Hmph.  Clearly she doesn’t understand the reason for my alleged calls.

And so I wait.

And wait.

And WAIT.

It’s killing me.

***
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