CJ has a new game called I CAN’T HEAR YOU AND YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME AND I’M NOT LISTENING NOT ONE TINY LITTLE BIT.
He loves this game but I’m not a fan.
It goes like this:
I issue a direct order. Like, “CJ, come here.” (he’s trying to sneak from the kitchen to the basement with something hidden in his pocket.)
He looks just over my left shoulder. You talkin’ to me? Cuz I don’t even SEE you.
“CJ!” I try it louder this time, “CJ, I asked you to come here. And WHAT do you have in your pocket?”
Your lips are moving but all I hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH.
“CJ! ANSWER ME!” I bellow.
Still I get nothing. He gets a wicked glint in his eye and then races down the stairs. I chase after him, grab at his pocket and confiscate the stolen pudding cup.
“You know, CJ, if you would have just ASKED me for a pudding I might have said yes.” I chastise him. But it’s useless. Cause all he’s getting is static.
Maybe the most frustrating thing of all is that *I* started this game and it’s *MINE* and now it’s being *USED AGAINST ME*.
It’s been true. I’ve been known to use I CAN’T HEAR YOU AND YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME AND I’M NOT LISTENING NOT ONE TINY LITTLE BIT strategically in the war against my husband.
“Jen? Why are you so mad at me?”
I don’t hear you. I don’t see you. You are dead to me.
“Jen! I’m talking to you.”
blah blah blah whatever
“JEN! ANSWER ME!”
And I race downstairs with a pudding cup in my pocket.
Ok, well maybe I’m mixing up story lines. But you get the general idea.
What was my point again?
Oh yeah, the unfairness.
That’s the worst thing of all about children. The way they take your ABSOLUTE WORST traits and fling them right around and back in your face.
Kersplat!
Take that!
And before you can say GO TO YOUR ROOM MISTER YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE! you’ve turned into your mother.
Heaven help us all.
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xo Jen
November 10, 2008 at 10:05 am
Oh, my almost 4 year old does this all the time and now my not even one year old is starting it. If he’s crawling toward someplace or something he’s not supposed to, as soon as I say “Spike, no!” he starts scooting faster. Like he hit the turbo button or something. Kids! Why must they be so evil… oops, I mean clever??
Jills last blog post..Mommy… I made you sumpeen
November 10, 2008 at 10:05 am
Oh I hear ya!! We may not play that exact game but having my children do things to me that I know they got from me….ugh. I hate that. They just can’t get that whole “do as I say not as I do” thing down.
Dumblonds last blog post..Movie Review Time: 5th Edition
November 10, 2008 at 10:26 am
Oh yes. Times three in my house.
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..3 Year Old Baby and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
November 10, 2008 at 10:35 am
So true!
When I was little they called me motor mouth…is it no wonder my kid won’t shut up.
midwest mommys last blog post..Tree Moss
November 10, 2008 at 11:21 am
There are times when I want to look at my son and shake him and say “Would you STOP being such a BOSSY, OBNOXIOUS, KNOW-IT-ALL,” and then I look in the mirror and realize I could be saying the exact same things to myself. Sigh.
Why didn’t he inherit my sparkling wit and fascinating personality? Why just my flaws? WHY?
Erins last blog post..In Which I Reveal Just How Hormonal I Truly Am
November 10, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Both my kids do this all the time but Monkey’s the worst. She acts the name we’re calling isn’t hers. Sometimes I turn to Hubby and muse, “Maybe that’s not her name! Did we name her the wrong name?” And then I’ll try a bunch of different ones until she turns. Usually I just run after her and grab her by the arm. SO annoying!
pixies last blog post..When Does Rudeness Take a Day Off?
November 10, 2008 at 2:46 pm
It’s even better when they are too old to be lifted up and placed in their rooms . . . when that happens you can post embarrassing photos of them on the Internet.
That’ll teach ‘em. Seriously.
And yes, I am more like my mother with each passing day . . .
Carries last blog post..If Scales Could Talk
November 10, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Yep. All children go through a “deaf” stage… or as my husband calls it “selective hearing”.
Honey Mommys last blog post..Two Year Old Casanova
November 10, 2008 at 6:16 pm
My 2 year old covers her face like,”You can’t see me”. Funny how kids pick up on the little things we do.
HeatherYs last blog post..He’s Back!!!
November 10, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Yeah. Isn’t five great? Mine just told me I’m stupid. As if I didn’t know.
Half Assed Kitchens last blog post..Baby cakes with fudge frosting
November 10, 2008 at 8:27 pm
My children tend to play the opposite game. The one where their face is turned towards you but their eyeballs are obviously looking elsewhere. Oh how I hate the “Yeah whatever… I’m listening” look. My husband on the other hand loves CJ’s game. I actually bought him a shirt last Christmas that says “Your lips are moving but all I hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH”
Mommy Citys last blog post..More on Absolutely Bananas
November 10, 2008 at 9:49 pm
My youngest is always telling me he wishes he was the grown up so he could be the boss of me.
Kimbers last blog post..Not Me Monday
November 10, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Oh my goodness! That would definitely drive me to drink – or at least stomp my feet.
Hang onto your most excellent sense of humor my friend—methinks you’re gonna need it.
Kathleens last blog post..The Rejuvenating Effects of Riding
November 10, 2008 at 11:28 pm
They are amazingly clever, aren’t they? It’s quite disturbing when our children pull these things on us.
My 3 YO is doing a splendid job of this very thing. Fun stuff.
Thanks for sharing,
Ciao
Desiree – Mother Musingss last blog post..Vomit post now with extra helpings of vomit
November 11, 2008 at 5:29 am
How funny because my husband and I were just talking about something (almost) similar yesterday….how we are finding that dealing with our 18 yr old daughter is SO different than how we thought of ourselves when we were 18. Funny, we thought restrictions at 18 was unnecessary when it was us, now we’re all about them. Um, sorta the same, just not 4 years old right?
sheilas last blog post..Cemeteries: My weird hobby
November 11, 2008 at 9:22 am
The scary thing?
Where do you think they learn all that crap?
From US.
Thank goodness I only have two children to screw up.
November 11, 2008 at 11:50 am
Bahahaha – this is too funny. Sadly, it is very true, too! *sigh*
wendys last blog post..Quick update
November 12, 2008 at 9:40 am
LOL. yeah, kids are the greatest mirrors of our own flaws. hehehe.
That’s cute.
November 12, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Ewww, I am currently going through the same thing with my 5 year old. I am the invisible mommy.
Mrs. Fs last blog post..Eleven Years Goes By Really Fast When You Are Having Fun
November 13, 2008 at 7:56 am
My daughter once said to me (she was 3) when I was really angry after she’d done something AGAIN, after about the third time I’d said Don’t Do That, something I shall never forget.
She cocked her head slightly to one side, measuring me with her look, and calmly stated almost to herself, “You can’t kill me.”
Like, she was totally sizing up what could possibly happen that was SO bad she couldn’t just keep doing what she wanted to do.
!*@*($^!)@#^!_!!
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..Big Brother
November 13, 2008 at 1:27 pm
My five year old daughter acts like hs is 16, so I know.
I know.
November 13, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Sing it, sister!
November 14, 2008 at 6:24 am
Maybe it’s time to move the pudding cups. lol
Heidis last blog post..feeling the spirit
November 14, 2008 at 5:05 pm
That is a favorite game for my girls, too. They also enjoy “Yes, you told me to stop doing that, so I will stop, after I do it just one more time.”
Odd how kids don’t hear what you want them to hear, but if you don’t want them to hear something, they SO hear that.
November 15, 2008 at 9:35 am
Okay, this is a great post, but I’m tired of re-reading it! LOL. how bout a new one? ha hah a
sheilas last blog post..Sweet 16!!
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November 18, 2008 at 10:42 am
WA-WA-WA, WA-WA-WA-WA.
I swear sometimes that’s all they hear.
November 21, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Just when I thought it could/would get a little better. My kid turns five and turns into your kid, and every other kid, who does exactly what you said. Throws back at me, every thing I’ve ever done that I can’t stand about myself.
Never mind how incredibly uncool I feel around her half the time and she is FIVE!!!! OMG- will this junior high trauma bullshit ever go away? :)
Jessica Berns last blog post..WORK IT BABY