Presidential duties 101: a really confusing primer

“Who did you vote for today, CJ?” Jay asks.

“Baracko Bama.”  CJ says proudly.  Then he adds, ”Baracko Bama WON.”  

Turns out Mrs. H’s kindergarten class is a blue state.  Too bad they don’t have any electoral votes.

After dinner Jay is eagerly checking the polls.  CJ can’t help but get caught up in the excitement.  ”Is Baracko Bama WINNING?” he asks.

“So far.”

Later on we’re sitting on the couch when CJ asks, “Mommy, if Baracko Bama wins, does that mean he will tell us what to do and then we have to do it?”

“Well CJ,” I say, “not really.”

“So what does he DO?” he asks.

“Uh… well… he takes care of people who need help… and fights bad countries who want to attack America… and gives money to schools so they can teach kids.”

Describing what the President does in words that a 5-year old can understand is hard. Especially for me, the world’s worst explainer.

“He does all that stuff?” CJ is impressed.

“Mm hmm.”  I’m not sure what inspires my next statement… maybe just a desire for accuracy. “He also takes our money.”

CJ’s eyes shoot open.  ”You mean he SNEAKS in and takes it?  Obama is going to SNEAK IN and TAKE OUR MONEY?”  

I giggle.  I can’t help it.  ”No no no, we GIVE it to him.  We give him some of our money so he can pay for all that stuff that he does.”

“He comes to our house?”  CJ sits up straight and looks toward the door. Any minute Baracko Bama should be arriving to collect our money.

“No… we mail it to him.”

“Oh.”  CJ thinks about this for a minute.  ”But how do we know where he lives?”

“Well we just send it to a place called the IRS.”

“Is that where he lives?  Does Baracko Bama live in the IRS?”

“Uh… well, not exactly.”

This is why I don’t home school.

***
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17 Comments

  1. I have MANY conversations like that, and I do homeschool ;)

    Thanks for the post election day giggle..

    Spookygirls last blog post..Why you SHOULDN’T take your children to vote..

  2. This is a very similar conversation to the ones I was having with both of my children yesterday and this morning. My brain hurts…

    Dumblonds last blog post..What’s another word for really pissed?

  3. Ha! I love it. I have had chills since last night. So exciting!

    midwest mommys last blog post..Rock the Vote!

  4. Too funny! They should print a book with answers to random questions for parents with small children!

  5. lmao, I have a feeling that could have been me, had I broached the election subject! Luckily, pre-k didn’t broach it either. I’ll save that one for when he’s a little older!

    Angelas last blog post..42 is the answer

  6. I love this post. Kids are so funny and we parents are trying to answer their questions which tend to bring up more questions. So funny. I am a homeschooling mom and I find my self in these situations and always wonder how I am going to get of the mess I created.

    Valeries last blog post..

  7. Ha! Yeah…I kinda suck at explaining things like that to my 5 year olds too.

    WMs last blog post..From the I’m so stupid I shouldn’t be let loose in society files

  8. CJ sounds adorable! Kids make us look at the basics of things, don’t they?

    Kathleens last blog post..Hope

  9. Funny, I couldn’t homeschool for the same reasons! LOL, how funny!

    sheilas last blog post..A long, ’spirited’ night.

  10. Bahahahaha! Oh my!

    Mine are considerably older and I still have a hard time explaining it all so they understand.

  11. LOL. I thought that was pretty good, actually.

    Just Jiffs last blog post..Halloween 2008

  12. That’s almost as bad as my daughter telling her teacher I was a witch. Why? Because I told her I knew magic. (So I guess it’s my fault?)

    Lynettes last blog post..Thank yous*

  13. I tried explaining currency rates to the Things in the airport customs line once. They were an international sensation. Until the arrest.

    always home and uncools last blog post..My Year of At-Home Dadness

  14. Hmmmm. Now I think we are all glad you don’t homeschool :)

  15. Ha, cute! Sounds like a conversation I would have with my kids.

    Ambers last blog post..November nonsense

  16. This reminds me of when my mom told me about the tooth fairy. Apparently she told me what the tooth fairy does, and then couldn’t stand that she was lying to me, so she said, “But Heidi, I’m the tooth fairy.” I said “Really???” and my eyes got really big…

    Heidis last blog post..Good sense is in short supply lately