In which I take a stand against blogger marketing spam
November 7, 2008 – 10:19 amEVERY SINGLE DAY and usually more than once I get the most ANNOYING emails. They go something like this:
To: Absolutely Bananas
From: Milly Marketer
Subject: New product to share with your readers!
Dear bananas,
We love Absolutely Bananas and just had to tell you about this great new product that we think you and your readers would be interested in. It’s called the Pickle Cutter and it’s an innovative way to cut your pickles- either dicing, slicing, or even PEELING. Exciting, right? You could probably use it for bananas too. LOL.
Anyhow, here is a link that you can use when you post about our product: http://worldsbestpicklecutter.com. Also I have included this jazzy graphic that you can use in your post.
Please let me know when you post about the Pickle Cutter!
Sincerely,
Milly Marketer
Sure the product varies… sometimes a movie, or a book, or a website, or a pair of underwear… but the basic concept never changes. I as a blogger have NOTHING better to do than post about boring products. And you, as readers, have NOTHING better to do than read infomercials posing as blog posts.
GIVE US JUST A VERY SMALL BREAK HERE!
I am sick of these emails. I never asked for them and they aren’t relevant to me and they are basically SPAM! I am offended on my behalf AND on your behalf.
Which is why I’ve drafted this excellent reply. Feel free to steal it and make it your own. Together we can FIGHT blogger marketing spam.
To: Milly Marketer
From: Absolutely Bananas
Re: New blog to share with your friends and family!
Dear Milly,
I am a huge fan of the Pickle Cutter. Which is why I am emailing you about this great new blog that I’m sure you will want to share with your friends, neighbors, coworkers and family members. Absolutely Bananas is this super-duper awesome blog that’s funny and witty and really, really great. It’s about parenting, which may not be at all relevant to you or anyone you know but come on, who really cares about relevance?
Here’s a link you can use when you forward my blog to everyone you know: www.absolutelybananas.com.
And here’s a picture you can include in the email. Isn’t it cute?
I’m also thinking an Absolutely Bananas logo emblazoned across the Pickle Cutter box might be a great tie-in. (Paid for by you, of course)
Please let me know when you’ve finished providing me with this free and time-consuming marketing for my blog.
Sincerely,
Bananas
P.S. Did you really think I was that stupid?
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By Dumblond on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Wow. Blog spam…Is that something to look forward to as a blogger? Or does it just happen to the really awesome ones like you….means I got nothing to worry about! Ha!
Dumblonds last blog post..Okay, so not all people suck…
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By bejewell on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
I got something suspiciously similar the other day and I was just really excited that someone was reading my blog. Maybe I should file that under “be careful what you wish for.”
bejewells last blog post..Black Hockey Jesus Made Me Sign the Bloggess Up for the Gary Busey Fan Club, Part One
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By All Adither on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Oh, I hate those emails. Also in that category, the we-think-your-blog-is-really-great-and-would-like-to-steal-your-posts-and-use-them-as-our-own. Imagine-all-the-traffic-you’ll-get.
Hrmph.
All Adithers last blog post..My little box…redux
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By jessica Bern on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
my dad once got a call from a telemarketer. My dad told him, “I’ll listen to your pitch, if you listen to mine. You see, I happen to sell life insurance…hello? Hello? ” the guy hung up on him LOL
jessica Berns last blog post..I SWEAR, I REALLY DID TRY
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By Scary Mommy on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Oh, I hope you really send that! I’ve started getting those too. At first it was mildly flattering, now it’s a major pain in the ass!
Scary Mommys last blog post..Everybody Farts, sometimes…
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By Stacy (mama-om) on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Right on! Bring on the Pickle Revolution!
Thanks for another hilarious post. This one is perfect.
Stacy (mama-om)s last blog post..Disguise
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By Valerie Deneen on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
I shall steal your auto-response and use it for my own purposes to fight the spam! Muhahahahahaha!
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By Super Mommie on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
Rolling on the floor laughing my head off - I was laughing too hard to even write in “text language”.
Super Mommies last blog post..Things I’ve Learned (in the last 2.5 days)
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By Desiree - Mother Musings on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
You are a laugh riot!!! This was brilliant. I’m still laughing.
Thanks for sharing,
Ciao
Desiree - Mother Musingss last blog post..Shopping with my girlies
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By debbie on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
Brilliant! Of course, some of those products I get asked to review I wouldn’t want my blog name on.
debbies last blog post..Another bad mothering confession
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By sheila on Nov 9, 2008 | Reply
I don’t get any of those emails. lol. Everyone hates me. lol. But if in the future I ever do get them…I’ll be sure to steal your idea and use it to the fullest.
I’d also like to point out that this may work well with other scams throught the mail.
sheilas last blog post..A man and his dog.
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By The Diaper Diaries on Nov 9, 2008 | Reply
I am pretty sure the pickle thing is fictional, but I have gotten some weird pickle thing for my blog. Something to do with national pickle day or something. Some of this stuff is just bizzare!!
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By Elizabeth on Nov 9, 2008 | Reply
omg I love it!! I am totally stealing that for the next completely random and un-related to my blogs in any way pitch I get. Do you get the ones that start out “Hi Ms.”? I mean come ON.
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By threeundertwo on Nov 9, 2008 | Reply
Tee hee. I might use your reply. If they’re targeting my blog they’re pretty indiscriminate.
threeundertwos last blog post..Lofty Aspirations
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By Angie @ Many Little Blessings on Nov 10, 2008 | Reply
Amen, Sister!
I ignore most of those emails. *blush* It amazes me that people would think that we would just post about their site/product/whatever just because. Heck — I even usually turn down when they offer to send me something to review, though I have occassionally agreed, but only when I think it fits with my blog.
I once had some peanut company want to send me a baggie of peanuts (think airplane snack) for me to review. Augh!
Angie @ Many Little Blessingss last blog post..Many Little Blessings: October 2008 Recap
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By Honey Mommy on Nov 10, 2008 | Reply
Too funny. I am starting to get this kind of spam… do they think I’m THAT bored? Don’t they READ my blog?
Honey Mommys last blog post..Two Year Old Casanova
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By creative type dad on Nov 19, 2008 | Reply
I hate getting those.
I just got another this morning from some kids clothing company that “asked” me to look at their clothes and blog about the ones I want to buy for my daughter.
Just bizarre.
creative type dads last blog post..Questions? I’ve Got Answers
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By Storm on Apr 14, 2009 | Reply
Ugh. Those kind of emails are irritating. You just have to be careful and be selective. I did get one email about a super product and the lady and I are now friends. Hilarious post!
Storms last blog post..Review Your Values
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By Morgan on Jun 28, 2009 | Reply
That is great! I like your picture of your blog being more fun that a big fat pickle. I am going to have to remember that!
What drives me nuts is when companies want me to post about their product or website and have NOTHING- zilch- to offer to me or my readers! Really? Do they think I want to waste my time (and reputation) marketing their website when they aren’t even going to pay for the advertising or offer my readers something in return?
Adventures in Diapering is also more fun than a big fat pickle. Thanks for the humorous (and very true) post.
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