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This moment
September 2, 2008 – 10:13 pmThere are so many things I didn’t do.
So many words I didn’t say.
Are you ready?
Am I ready?
I watch you lying there, your arms flung wide embracing sleep.
My heart aches for you. For the baby that clung to me. For the chubby toddler that wobbled beside me. For the tall, confident boy with the infectious laugh who I’m sending off to kindergarten in the morning.
My son.
As I watch you sleep, I feel as if time is moving unbearably fast. In this moment I can see the past and present and future and I how fleeting each one is. I want to wrap them up and store them away to have forever. But the moments disappear leaving me with faint recollections. And I have you, as you are now in this moment, along with the knowledge that soon this too will be a memory.
I had so many intentions.
I didn’t do enough.
And even though I know that there is never enough, my heart aches.
I want to stop time and hurry backwards and fix just that. Or this, and maybe that one other thing.
To relive just a few of those moments.
If only…
If only.
And still the heartless clock counts down the seconds until tomorrow.
Time pauses for no one, someone said.
And it’s true.
Time pauses for no one. Not even a mother.
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By Rachael on Sep 2, 2008 | Reply
What a beautiful post.
Rachaels last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Wedding!
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By Jemma on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
That was lovely, and so meaningful right now with my own child about to start school next week!
I ope tomorrow is a lovely day for you both and that you don’t cry…too much ;)
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By Aimee (journey2learn) on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
My “little one” is turning 10 in October. I can’t believe how fast time has gone….and what I wouldn’t give to relive a few of those moments, or to have spent a few more minutes breathing them in…
Aimee (journey2learn)s last blog post..Can’t SLEEP!
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By Carla on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
That was very touching.
Thank you.
Carlas last blog post..The Swimmin Hole
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By Eternal Sunshine on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Awww, very sweet. This is that time of year. I sent my last baby off to Kindergarten this year. and my first one to high school.
Hang in there!!
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By Debbie on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
If this isn’t the sweetest post I’ve ever seen! And, haven’t we all felt like this, but you summed it up best. Hope this year goes well.
Debbies last blog post..The dark side of the moon
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By HeatherY on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
That is so sweet. It is so wonderful yet so hard to watch them grow and reach new milestones.
HeatherYs last blog post..Haiku Friday: Vacation
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By Jenny Henny on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
thanks for my morning cry. now I feel guilty for being annoyed with the monsters. Can’t get anything done, blah,blah, blah.
seriously, a beautiful post.
Jenny Hennys last blog post..A True Jen Adventure
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By Becky on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Well said. I sent my youngest to kindergarten this year and I felt the same way. It does get easier though.
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By jennifer on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
That was really touching. My daughter should start state preschool next year and I believe that will get me pretty upset… I think it’s just normal for a mother.
Good luck. I am sure it will get easier and with time you will enjoy.
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By the planet of janet on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
aww. this is a beautiful post.
it does go fast. hold onto every moment.
the planet of janets last blog post..A tale of two shopping trips
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By daring one on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Oh how I want to freeze mine. I have not yet found an effective technique.
daring ones last blog post..That’s Me in the Corner
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By Wendy on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
I hear ya. This will be me tomorrow morning. I just hope the sun is shining, so the dog and I can then go walk and walk and walk…
Wendys last blog post..When playing in sprinklers, it’s important
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By Hillary - The Queen I Am Not on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
I’m glad I have another year before my oldest starts school. I’m not ready to deal with the feelings and emotions associated with the first day of Kindergarten. Good luck today!
Hillary - The Queen I Am Nots last blog post..Sugary Sweet (and Orangey, Too!)
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By Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
This feeling just grows and grows with the years.
now I’m sad.
thanks a lot.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..To A Smart and Thoughtful Lurker
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By Reluctant Housewife on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Especially for a mother.
Time goes by way too fast most of the time. My youngest is starting junior kindergarten this year and I’m left all out of babies. Boo to the hoo.
Reluctant Housewifes last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Beach Exploration
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By Susie on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
It goes by way too fast!
Susies last blog post..What better way to spend our anniversary then….
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By Kerrie on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
I feel this way every day already and my son is only three months old.
Kerries last blog post..Things Only a Mom Would Do
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By Kathryn on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
WAAAAAA!!!!! You are making me bawl!
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By Brillig on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Gorgeous, Jen.
Brilligs last blog post..When the Lights Went Out
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By iMommy on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
The first year of my daughter’s life was lost in postpartum depression, and I know that I’ll always regret it. I want to go back, too.
iMommys last blog post..Changes!
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By Mrs. F on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
We want time to slow down, then they start acting nasty and we wish it would speed up…at least I do.
Anyways, your words are beautiful!
Mrs. Fs last blog post..I have a Feeling That This Makes No Sense To Anyone…
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By Angie @ Many Little Blessings on Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
Oh man — that made me almost burst into tears. (((HUGS)))
Angie @ Many Little Blessingss last blog post..Follow Up to Our Homeschooling / Public Schooling Anguish
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By Harmony on Sep 4, 2008 | Reply
I really love this post. You put into beautiful words what we are all thinking. I just sent my last son off to kindergarten and now that all three are in school, I feel a lot of what you wrote. Thanks for this amazing post, it brought a little tear to my eye!
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By Eve on Sep 4, 2008 | Reply
i so feel you…
Eves last blog post..Then and Now…
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