Yesterday I walked out the front door and got a spider web right in the eye.
ARRRGH!
Some nefarious little eight-legged creature has spun its web directly across the path that is typically taken by my head when I exit the house. I have to believe it’s on purpose. That spider was eyeing my eyeball and thinking, mmm lunch. Or maybe she planned to capture my WHOLE HEAD and eat for years. Who can say what goes on in the inner minds of spiders.
As I stumble down the steps trying to pull the sticky thread from my eye I’m thinking that THIS MOMENT symbolizes my week so far.
(I’m also wondering if the spider is now lodged in my hair.)
The transition to kindergarten is not going well.
Except some days, when it seems to be going fine.
Monday, after class, CJ’s teacher stopped me in the hall. ”CJ was feeling extremely rambunctious today,” she says. Which, I happen to know, is teacher talk for YOUR LITTLE CRETEN RUINED MY DAY AND NOW I’M HOPPING MAD.
Oh dear. It’s only the third week.
“Really?” I say, in my MOST concerned and responsible voice.
My heart hurts. Already it’s been very difficult to get CJ to school.
“I HAAAATE school,” he howls as we walk out the door. “Mommy, today I MEAN it. I really, really REALLY don’t want to go to school.”
“But you have to,” I tell him, “it’s the law.”
But even the law isn’t enough for CJ. Tuesday morning finds me dragging him out the door. No amount of threats or bribes or LAW will compel him to want to go to school this day. Somehow I get him there and in his desk.
“If you have a good day today,” I tell him, “we’ll go shopping for your Halloween costume after school.”
My mind is full of gloomy thoughts as I trudge home.
Maybe he isn’t READY for school after all.
Maybe public school isn’t going to work. It’s what I feared… all the sitting and paying attention and listening… maybe it’s just too much for my spirited little boy.
They’re going to suck away his spirit.
They’re going to drain the life right out of him.
WHAT DO I DO????
The spider web is stuck in my eye and I can’t see clearly. All I know is that I don’t know what to do.
I find myself obsessing. It’s all I can think about… all I can talk about.
That afternoon when I pick up CJ his teacher informs me that he had a GREAT day. The clouds lift, the sun shines through and HALLELUJAH we are saved.
But are we?
Really?
Is that the end? Will it be smooth sailing from here on out?
Still in the back of my mind are those tormenting thoughts. Am I doing the right thing?
This point in time feels so momentous. Like if I get it wrong it will plague him for the rest of his life. Like I’m standing at a crossroads. One direction leads to a happy, healthy, well-adjusted CJ. The other? Juvenile delinquency and unhappiness. Only the signs aren’t clear and I can’t tell which way we’re headed.
It’s enough to drive even the most sane woman mad.
And you and I both know I wasn’t all that sane to begin with.
One of the other moms tells me that she read that the transition to kindergarten is one of the HARDEST transitions ever. Aside from maybe college. For the PARENTS.
Which helps a little. Maybe I’m not completely crazy.
I need to channel this energy, I tell myself, I have to stop obsessing and give it time.
I have a tendency to obsess. I know this about myself.
Which reminds me…
Does anyone have a suggestion for getting rid of spiders?
(unless you’re against killing spiders, in which case I am TOTALLY joking)
I’m not joking. I am sick of spiders.
(unless you’re with PETA, in which case I totally don’t mean it and I love the fuzzy little eight-legged peanuts)
Honestly I hate them. With a passion. I gave them a chance and LOOK at how they repay me.
(unless you are a fan of spiders, in which case I really am kidding. Can’t you take a joke? Seriously.)
seriously. need killing suggestions now.
(kidding)
am I?
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xo Jen
September 24, 2008 at 11:05 am
oh the second-guessing. it doesn’t stop.
i still think about whether i should have kept my 24-year-old in preschool one more year. (actually, i should have.)
yeah, sorry, i know THAT sure didn’t help. but the only thing you can do is just the best that you can do.
hugs.
September 24, 2008 at 11:15 am
You’re obviously a great mom, and C.J. a bright, active, and creative kid. If your school doesn’t give much recess time, start a movement to get them to allow more physical activity. Try to keep track of who the best teachers are in his elementary school (ask the other parents), and do what you can to get him in their classes. Spend a lot of time at school, volunteering, looking around, whatever. . .so they know you’re watching what goes on. My son used to tell me when he was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (I swear) that it was unconstitutional to compel children to go to school, and so it went, through middle and high school, and through college kicking and screaming. Now he’s a happy, responsible adult with 3 boys of his own–kindergarten seems to be going okay so far.
September 24, 2008 at 11:49 am
Great tale! Spiders have their place but not near me I’m afraid. If its easy to shepard outside then fine, if not ehn there is only one alternative!
September 24, 2008 at 11:55 am
That’s so hard. Have you had a chance to sit down with his teacher and talk about how you can work together to make the transition easier? He can’t possibly be the first kid she’s seen like this. Surelly she has some suggestions…. Just a thought.
Jills last blog post..WTF? Wednesday – WTF? Jill
September 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Sorry transition is going so badly! And GROSSSSS spiderweb! I’d be spraying the porch rails!
brandis last blog post..A Blog Worthy of Note
September 24, 2008 at 12:46 pm
My 6 yo has been having those issues since Pre-K. Nothing serious, just misbhaving, playing instead of lstening, etc… Normal kid stuff. After so many “red” days, I finally just asked. “Is he the only one?” Nope, my kid was just like half the kids in his class.
Every year, it’s gotten a little better, and even now, he doesn’t always sit still, and he doesn’t always keep him mouth shut or his nose out of other people’s business, but he’s 6.
What do they expect from him?
September 24, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I had my first parent-teacher conference yesterday for my daughter, a Kindergartner. Turns out that my daughter does fine in class—when she is in the MOOD.
I am currently obsessing over this news…
We’ll get through this…
Mrs. Fs last blog post..Eff Yoo eBay
September 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Hi Jenny! I have been thinking about you!
Only you can listen to your heart… it’s in there telling you something behind all the sticky spiderwebs… and maybe it will take some time to sort it all out. Just keep listening. :)
And coming from a family who didn’t choose school (at least this year), I can tell you I still have those panicky moments of “how will my child turn out”?!
Blessings,
Stacy
Stacy (mama-om)s last blog post..Fall
September 24, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Uuuuuggggghhhh, I hate spiders, always have, always will and we have a ton of them since we live in the forestry. I feel for you. Good luck with spiders (and kindergarten).
Kimbers last blog post..Have Ticket, Will Travel
September 24, 2008 at 2:14 pm
sorry that kindergarten isn’t all the CJ hoped for (or you)…hope that it continues to get better for you both.
staciesmadnesss last blog post..Vampire trumps Pretty Princesses
September 24, 2008 at 2:42 pm
ohhh, as a parent of a “spirited” child I feel your pain, and your anxiety. Hang in there!
Jenny Hennys last blog post..I’m your Mother, not your….
September 24, 2008 at 3:33 pm
BTW,
I have a friend who believed that when lots of spiders and their webs were around her it indicated that their was a friend or family member – a member of her “web” that she was neglecting or not paying attention to.
Although, once when I was having a problem with lady bugs, I asked her if she thought perhaps it indicated good luck for me and she said no, you just have an infestation.
oh well, I guess you can pick and choose your beliefs when it comes to entomology
Jenny Hennys last blog post..I’m your Mother, not your….
September 24, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Oh geez… well, I happen not to be keen on killing insects, so I just make them evacuate my space :]
You will make it through this kindergarten stuff just fine! CJ will start to have better days and hopefully look forward to going to school to hang out with his new friends.
Tatianas last blog post..Oh Me Oh Maia…
September 24, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I know that spiders don’t like Eucalyptus, so you could get some in a pot on your porch or something.
I freaking HATE walking into spider webs.
Rachaels last blog post..And I wondered how the economic downturn would hit us…
September 24, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I hate spider webs too. But I suppose now is not the time to tell CJ that here in WA, the law doesn’t say school is mandatory (compulsory) until age 8?
;)
Good luck maintaining the transition.
HellTygrs last blog post..Back!
September 24, 2008 at 6:09 pm
I hate walking into a web. I get all paranoid about a spider crawling all over me. Sorry that CJ’s having such a tough time transitioning. It’s still so new for him and he is probably not the only one.
HeatherYs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
September 24, 2008 at 9:28 pm
I’m sad to inform you that his soul is being sucked out through his nostrils each day that you have him in that place.
JENNY!!! He will be FINE! Seriously what you do at home is most important. You don’t want him to turn into a mindless zombie but it’s probably good for him to have a bit more structure, right? It’s a learning experience and he’ll grow and evolve and blossom and all that junk and if it gets to a point where you know it’s not working, you’ll KNOW it’s not working. It won’t be a guess or a feeling, you’ll know and then you’ll deal with it. Seriously chill out. And come play with me. My house is on the way to everywhere.
daring ones last blog post..If Wishes Were Work Ethic
September 24, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Spiders – not a big fan of them.
Kindergarten – that’s hard stuff. Where CJ has an advantage is he has a mother who thinks and considers his needs and fears. It means your are listening, and if you are doing that, my dear, he is going to be successful in the ways he needs to be, and grow up to be a well-adjusted person… A kid knows when his mom has got his back :)
jennyonthespots last blog post..You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I’m all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.
September 24, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Hang in there on the transition….it is a big change for these little ones and it all is exciting and new….there will be bad days and good days and things will calm down!
SPIDERS— why do we have so many in the NW?? The other night I THOUGHT I felt something crawl on my arm- I had just turned off the light and was trying to go to sleep. I debated on whether or not to get up and turn on the light to check it out. But the feeling was so strange I decided to….THANK GOODNESS. HUGE BIG BROWN SPIDER CRAWLING IN MY BED. All I could do was scream for my husband to GET IT RIGHT NOW- there was NO WAY I was touching that thing…again. I double check my bed now each night because it freaked me out so much. Killing suggestions: husband who wakes easy to loud screaming!! Seriously, I wish I knew how to get rid of them.
September 25, 2008 at 2:07 am
It’s early days yet for CJ. Give him and you time sweetie, I;m sure he’ll get there.
As for the spiders, you can get sprays that are meant to keep them away. Yesterday found a spiders nest in a basket full of throws. It was gross and I had to throw it all out. There were tons of tiny spider mites. Shivers.
Catching up. I love the ‘not your tissue’ bit. Miss M wipes her nose on me constantly, and yay for the big boy getting his chocolate milk.
Jo Beaufoixs last blog post..Nuts
September 25, 2008 at 9:24 am
On the spiders, I will tell you what does not work: writing them a polite note explaining that you’d rather have them leave and ending with a not-so-veiled threat about the calling of exterminators. They just laughed in the face of my note. So I’m moving on to that bug killer stuff you buy to spray on window sills and door jambs. If I’ve learned one thing from being a mother, it’s this: when you issue a threat, follow through. Sorry, spideys, you had your chance to vacate.
(kidding, PETA)
or am I?
MommyTimes last blog post..There Are Times When Only Poetry Will Suffice
September 25, 2008 at 10:54 am
eeewwww…spiders are at the top of my “search and destroy” list!! i know, i know. i am wicked and evil, blah blah blah. i went to make the bed yesterday and came across a **shutters at the thought** little brownish red monster, i mean spider. it was sooooo gross!!! i smashed him!!!!!!!! wwoohhooo
me: 1 spiders: 0. oh did i say that out loud?? lol
jspriks last blog post..on a personal note…
September 25, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Don’t know what to tell you about the kindergarten thing… we’re not there yet.
As for the spiders, have you ever tried spider traps? We used them when our apartment had a hobo spider infestation in college. They are like sticky fly-paper in the shape of a triangel and you put them near your baseboards or wherever. They seem to work ok, and then you don’t have to mess around with nasty chemicals.
Here’s one of many websites with them: http://www.cleanertoday.com/Spider-traps-s/86.htm
You can also get them at local hardware-ish stores. Good luck!
It is pretty gross when you see how many spiders get trapped in there. Icky!
Honey Mommys last blog post..Picture my World
September 25, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Don’t know what to tell you about the kindergarten thing… we’re SO not there yet.
As for the spiders, have you tried spider traps? We used the in college when our apartment had a hobo infestation. They seemed to work pretty well and you don’t have to use nasty chemicals. They are like sticky fly paper shaped into a box or triangle.
Just do a google search and you’ll find plenty of places that sell them. I think you can also get them at your local hardware store.
It is disgusting when you see how many spiders get stuck in there! Icky!
September 25, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Aren’t all kids like that? I remember crying all the way to school… and driving my parents nuts. Prob. a few teachers too in the process.
September 26, 2008 at 10:32 am
Damn what PETA thinks they’re trying to mess with my icecream…
As for the transition to K, it’ll be ok. My mom and her best friend have a combined 37 years teaching K (and roughly another 30 years teaching other grades). And they tell every parent the same thing “Give it time, it’ll be fine, we’ll work on it together…”
courtneyryans last blog post..PETA has gone too far this time!
September 26, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I stopped forcing school on my son in 4th grade. It was THE BEST decision I ever made. It’s really NOT the law that they have to go to that school building every day to learn. They can learn out in the world where they are free to be their wiggly, loud, spirited selves.
We are unschoolers and my kids are teens now (14 and 19). We bypassed that daily struggle and learned to enjoy exploring the world without school. If you ever want to learn more about this way of life, feel free to ask me!
Good luck in whatever choice you make for your own family.
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