Bananas vs. the corn tortillas (an epic battle)
August 11, 2008 – 12:00 am
“So what exactly are you planning on doing with NINETY corn tortillas?” Jay asks smugly as he holds up the enormous stack of tortillas.
I give him a blank stare and say nothing.
There’s really not much to be said.
The truth is I didn’t realize that there were ninety in there. I was at Costco, saw corn tortillas, thought “mmm perfect for fish tacos!” and threw the bag in my cart.
Now I’m the butt of every single corn tortilla joke that Jay can think up.
As I step into the house after being away for four days, the first thing he says is, “Want a corn tortilla? We have ninety!”
Yes dear. Thanks for that.
For dinner that night we have fish tacos. And use up FIVE of the corn tortillas.
Down to 85.
The next day I choke down a black bean and corn tortilla for lunch.
84 corn tortillas.
There’s still a whole lot of corn tortillas in that bag.
I’m starting to HATE corn tortillas. They haunt me as I lie in bed at night. What can I do with the corn tortillas?!
They taunt me in their smug squatness nestled comfortably on my counter top. Neener neener neener we’re still here! They seem to chant.
I rack my brain trying to come up with creative uses for corn tortillas. The possibilities are endless, but nothing sounds good.
I think I might be allergic to corn tortillas.
Then a beam of light shines directly from the heavens and into my tiny brain.
Use the corn tortillas in a dish for the kindergarten potluck tomorrow night!
It’s perfect!
I find a recipe for a corn tortilla casserole, print it out, and write up a list of ingredients.
Corn tortillas? CHECK! Now I just need chicken, beans, cheese, and salsa.
I decide that we’ll head to the grocery store in the morning, and then CJ can help me do the cooking in the afternoon. I’ll show up to the potluck with a home-cooked meal AND I’ll use up the blasted tortillas. This is totally win-win.
(In your FACE, Jay!)
But then stuff starts to come up.
(This ALWAYS happens to me)
Like, for example, CJ wants to go to a park. Which sounds fun to me. We can push off the grocery store a few hours. No harm, right?
WRONG.
Because a few hours later I get a text message from one of my dear blogging pals saying that she’s coming to the area and wants to meet up at our local wading pool.
Corn tortillas … hanging out in the sun
Corn tortillas … hanging out in the sun
I anguish over the decisions for a SPLIT SECOND and decide to go for fun in the sun.
You can probably guess how this tale ends.
With CORN TORTILLAS sitting unused on my counter.
With me having NOTHING TO BRING to the school picnic.
Well, those other parents might as well get used to it. I tell myself, I’m not so much with the domestic activities. Why pretend?
“Jay,” I shout when he walks in the door, “HURRY UP WE HAVE TO GO BUY SOMETHING TO BRING TO THE POTLUCK AND WE’RE ALREADY RUNNING LATE!”
Jay doesn’t even bat an eye at this announcement. He just says smugly, “didn’t use the ninety corn tortillas, huh?”
(In MY face. Ugh.)
I grimace at him. ”Don’t even TALK to me about corn tortillas.”
Five minutes later we hop in the car and head to Whole Foods, where we fill a container with macaroni and cheese from the deli. Perfect.
Perfect, that is, until we get to the checkout counter and the total rings up at $35. Which, in my book, is a LOT OF MONEY for macaroni and cheese. Even from Whole Foods.
This is how we brought a $35 container of macaroni and cheese to the school potluck.
As I write this, the corn tortillas beckon to me from the counter. “We’re still here!”
What they DON’T know, is that this very night, under a CLOAK OF DARKNESS, I’m going to sneak ever-so-quietly outside and throw the blasted corn tortillas in the compost bin!
How do you like me NOW, corn tortillas?!
***
Other Cooking Catastrophes…
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6. Kat - Sassy Irish Lassie 7. Harmony 8. followthatdog 9. Dumblond 10. Kerrie @ Sanity Department |
11. slackermommy 12. Malia 13. Jennie 14. mamabeck |
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By Ashley on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I love this story! Your writing style always makes me laugh. This sounds just like something I would do!
Ashleys last blog post..Our Family Portrait Preview!
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By KT on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Very funny stuff!
KTs last blog post..Cooking Catastrophes
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By natalie on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
well i have also been known to buy lots of corn tortillas, but since i live in turkey and we can’t get them here i can justify it. i just put them in baggies of 8 or 10 and freeze them. they taste fine when they are thawed if you fry them for a minute or two in oil. i don’t know about eating them rawish, but they would be fine in tortilla soup or that casserole you mentioned. but if they haunt you then by all means throw them out. you can always go buy more!
natalies last blog post..Much better.
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bananas Reply:
August 11th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
sometime I’ll have to tell you about our freezer. it has this funny feature where you put stuff in and it, like, stays there for EVER. it’s like food purgatory.
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By pgoodness on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
thanks for the giggle. i do that kind of thing, too - buy too much of something with the best of intentions and then life happens.
pgoodnesss last blog post..Getting Things Done Redux
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By rachel on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
ha ha ha! Make some migas and then freeze the tortillas in batches. Then you have them for whenever you need, or desire :-)
Plus frozen tortillas make great frisbees and ‘throw at husband or kids tools’
:-) Have a great monday hon
rachels last blog post..Mouthwatering Monday: Seven Layers of Heaven
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bananas Reply:
August 11th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
yeah I was considering fashioning a dress out of them… that could be cute, right? But seriously, I don’t even think it’d use all 90!
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By Peanut on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Yeah, Costco is great most of the time… but when I was pregnant, I had to make a rule: no satisfying pregnancy cravings at costco!
Peanuts last blog post..TMI: Easy diaper Change
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By the planet of janet on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
*snort* you DO know that you could freeze those damned things, don’t you?
the planet of janets last blog post..Fun Monday: the photo of the year edition
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By Michelle on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I can just imagine the class eating the expensive macaroni. TOO Funny!
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By World's Greatest Mommy on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Wow, I usually jut bring store bought brownies. I wanna come to your picnic.
World’s Greatest Mommys last blog post..The Lady Across the Street: Part V
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By devi on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
too funny!!!!!!!!
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By Wendy on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I say, make chips! Then Jay will eat them, right?!
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bananas Reply:
August 11th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
“make” chips?
make “chips”?
“MAKE CHIPS”?
do you even KNOW ME at all?!?!
;)
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By Ashley on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
lol you could have taken the tortillas and made loads of dishes and froze them!!
Ashleys last blog post..One of those…
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By Cassie on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I do the same thing when I go to Sam’s Club. I once came back with a box of 100 cheese sticks. I mean, we love cheese sticks, but there are only 2 of us! We ended up eating all of them eventually b/c they were frozen, but I haven’t eaten any since!
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By Sunshine/Melody on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
The first thing I thought was - I would have made tortilla chips. They’re so much better than the store bought ones.
I didn’t think of freezing them, though…
I meant to participate this week, but forgot to write my story yesterday. It only involved once adding a CUP of salt (instead of a tsp) to a dish that I had to take to school for an English project… Can’t even remember what I was making, now. But I remember the reactions, and the boy who had a crush on me, that ate two helpings. Poor guy.
Sunshine/Melodys last blog post..Oh, The Google searches I’m going to get…
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bananas Reply:
August 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
sounds juicy! you can add your story any time before next Sunday, if you feel so inspired…
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By Lynette on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Psht…fry ‘em up and you got yourself some NACHOS…
That’s me and tomato sauce. Every time I go shopping I buy some. And I don’t even know why. Because really, what am I going to do with 20 cans of tomato sauce?
Lynettes last blog post..Thirteen things
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By Jackie W transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos) on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Hey, have this great recipe using corn tortillas ….
Jackie W transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos)s last blog post..Faux kitchen window
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bananas Reply:
August 11th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Thanks, I am sooo past that point. I just want the tortillas to die a slow and painful death. (another goal is NOT COOKING!)
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By Loralee on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
You slay me, woman!
Dude…THROW THEM AWAY. Or put them in a compost heap somewhere. I am not for waste, but seriously in this case, the earth with forgive you.
Loralees last blog post..Deleting my Google Reader: The good, the bad, and the (possibly) ugly.
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By Heather on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Oh girl, first of all, they freeze, and you can peel them off from the frozen pile quite easily one at a time. Second… they make GREAT tostada shells, and oil-free too. Lay them out on your clean microwave glass tray, Spray them lightly wih cooking spray and sprinkle with salt, and microwave until they begin to turn golden brown. In my microwave, that’s 4 minutes for 4 frozen tortillas, then you take them out and in a minute or two in the open air to cool down and crisp up. Try it and see! :)
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By followthatdog on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
You could have gone for a “Great Escape” style dispersement of tortillas. Take a few in a baggie and leave them in the fridge at a friend’s house whenever you go for a visit. Something to consider for the future.
followthatdogs last blog post..Psychopath in training.
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By Kathryn on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Yep. That is definitely something I would do. ;)
Kathryns last blog post..Quite the Spectacle
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By Carrie on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I am pretty sure I have that same package of corn tortillas in my freezer . . . just waiting there . . . forever.
Carries last blog post..Riddle Me This
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By Dumblond on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Who hasn’t done this at Costco? I have many times…only to realize that we are only a family of four and do not need that much flippin’ food!
Dumblonds last blog post..What is this "cooking" of which you speak?
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By Hotomom on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
Awesome story! I loved reading this post. Even now I still can’t think of something to write about. I must be brain dead.
Hotomoms last blog post..Birthdays are HUGE
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By Angie @ Many Little Blessings on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I have to admit — if I got really tired of them, I would get rid of them. Or, as someone else suggested, freeze them into smaller portions.
What really killed me is the idea of spending $35 on macaroni and cheese! Wow!!!
Your story was, however, hilarious. ;)
Angie @ Many Little Blessingss last blog post..An observation during the Olympics Opening Ceremony
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By Reese on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
I actually purchased a box of 72 flour tortillas from our local GFS (Gordon Food Services).
I managed to use up about 2/3 of them making my famous enchiladas for my husband’s birthday party, and then we had breakfast fajitas yesterday…
The rest sit in the freezer. Their time will come.
Reeses last blog post..Dinner Plans 1, Husband 2, My Own Laziness 2
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By Polka Dot Mommy on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
We bought some lovely blue corn tortilla’s at WF the other day. They were only .99, unlike your $35 bucket o’ Mac. I do love Mac N Cheese… but seriously?
Here’s a great kid tip… this was for a kinder potluck, right?
Take those tortillas, spread them with peanut butter and honey, add another on top, cut into triangles… Kids love them.
Or if you want to get all fancy and stuff, layer cream cheese, pb, sliced bananas then drizzle with honey and top, slice, serve.
And you are free of 90 corn tortillas.
Cheers!
Jamie
Polka Dot Mommys last blog post..Win This EARTH FRIENDLY HANDBAG!!!!!
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By Jill on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
Just clicked over from Slacker Mommy’s place. This story cracks me up! Do you do this every Tuesday? I have some definitely Kitchen Catastrophes to share!!
Jills last blog post..Something strange is afoot in the land of Mickey
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By Scatteredmom on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
I’ve never actually shopped at Cost-co. I mean, there’s only three of us, so what’s the point? The food would just sit around and spoil. We’d be eating those corn tortillas until Jake is in college.
On the other hand, my Dad grew up during the Great Depression so he thinks nothing of having a 10 lb jar of peanut butter….LOLOL.
Scatteredmoms last blog post..Gemini Bridges [Flickr]
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By Melissa on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
When I have purchased too much of something I just hope that it will mold quickly so I have a reason to throw it out.
I love followthatdog’s advice. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to leave a bag full in different people’s homes. They would always wonder–where did those come from ?
Melissas last blog post..Children’s Classic Books
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By Malia on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Very funny! I’ve never bought that many corn tortillas before but even a smallish package from the grocer never gets completely used around here and I end up eventually throwing them out. I need to remember that they freeze…for next time!
Malias last blog post..Would You Like S’more?
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By Kaye on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
I have just found your blog through Fussypants and I am loving it. So much in fact that I’m awarding you a medal for this very post and all of the laughter it brought to my day…
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won the Mrs Nespy’s Frugal World Bronze Medal for August 11th. Go to http://mrsnespy.googlepages.com/grabyourmedalhere to get the code to post your medal if you’d like. Thanks for the great writing!
Kayes last blog post..More winners…
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By mamabeck on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Yeah…bad experiences…phew! ;)
mamabecks last blog post..Monday Writing Prompt #1
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