Bananas’ 1st and 2nd Laws of Nature

Newton’s Law: A body at rest will remain at rest and a body in motion will continue in motion at a constant speed in a straight line unless acted upon by some outside force

Kepler’s Law: The orbits of the planets are ellipses, with the Sun at one focus of the ellipse.

Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Bananas’ Law: If you pay $300 for tickets to see Mark Knopfler in concert at a very fabulous outdoor venue, it will rain.  It will definitely rain.

***

“Look over there!” I point into the distance where the sky is grey and foreboding.  “Do you think it’s gonna rain?  I didn’t bring any rain coats or anything.”

A bolt of lightning lights up the sky.

“No, it’s not gonna rain.” Jay says with confidence.

I shrug. 

We’ll see.

***

“I felt a raindrop!” I hold out my hand, “There! That was another one.  I think you need to go buy those ponchos.”

We’ve discovered that Chateau Ste. Michelle sells ponchos. 

Smart, very smart.

Jay shakes his head, “Nah, it’s not gonna rain.”

“Jay!  It’s GOING to rain!  Look at the sky!”

Jay looks up at the clouds which swirl above us all dark and menacing.

KABAMM!  Thunder crashes.

The sky is growling at us.

The air feels heavy and dense.  Hot.  Sticky.

“There!  Another one!  Do you feel it?”  I wipe a droplet of water off of my cheek and shift in my seat.  “All I’m saying is once it really starts there’s gonna be a mad dash for the ponchos.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Jay gets up and starts making his way across the grass towards the poncho booth.  People around us are pulling out umbrellas and raincoats.

I turn around and say to the couple behind me.  “I should’ve known that it would rain.  It was inevitable, the minute I bought those overpriced tickets.”

They didn’t buy tickets at 150% markup from an online scalper.  They signed up for the Mark Knopfler fan club, and got to buy their tickets BEFORE they were available to the general public.  Plus they got a free CD.

Hmmph.

***

Five minutes later we are huddled under bright blue plastic ponchos as water pours from the sky.

Lightning flashes.

Thunder crashes.

My poncho is stuck to my skin.

Jay looks glum.

Hopefully the music will start soon.

“Aw, come on Jay,” I say, “It’s not THAT bad.  At least we have these handy ponchos!”

He grunts.

“It’s sort of like an adventure,” I add.

Jay isn’t buying.

***

Mark Knopfler and his band enter the stage.  The lights flash.  The lightning streaks across the sky.  And the rain stops.

We tentatively emerge from our sticky plastic, sniff the freshly cleaned air and blink at the evening light as the music of Mark Knopfler surrounds us.

Can it be true?  Did the rain stop?  Really?

The music is amazing.

The show is brilliant.

And the rain goes away.

Best. Concert. Ever.

Bananas’ Second Law: A body at rest will remain at rest and a body in motion will continue in motion and IF IT RAINS at your favorite band’s concert, don’t despair. Just get in motion and get a poncho and who knows, maybe it will pass.

***
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