To trade in or not to trade in. There’s not even a question.
June 17, 2008 – 5:59 pmI like to think of myself as a practical and well-informed woman. A savvy woman. A women in the know.
So when it comes to buying and selling cars, I have some hard and fast rules. These rules are based on research and experience, but mainly on what my dad always told me.
1) Thou shalt not buy a new car. Ever.
2) Thou shalt not trade in. Ever.
I will admit to you that every time someone buys a brand-new car (you know, the kind with that new car smell) I feel all judgmental and smugly think, tsk tsk tsk that is SO irresponsible. Every time someone tells me that they (GASP) traded in their car I nearly fall to the floor in horror.
OH THE HORROR OF THE TRADE IN!
DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU’RE LOSING?
So yeah. Strong opinions.
The thing is, it’s easy to have strong opinions about things you’ve never done.
And it’s true that, until yesterday, I had never sold my own car.
Selling a car is a MAN’S WORK! is unspoken rule #3. Although I like to think that I’m a feminist and all about equal rights and gender neutrality, the truth is I’m totally not.
The funny thing is, every time we decide to upgrade or downgrade or sideways-grade or otherwise replace one car with a different one, I shout my rules at Jay’s head.
“WE ARE NOT BUYING A NEW CAR!” I holler, “WE MIGHT AS WELL THROW OUR MONEY RIGHT DOWN THE TOILET!”
“But the new car smell… the 0% financing…” Jay’s attempts to change my mind are inevitably met with firm and vigorous resistance. When I know something, it is a fact and therefore NOT open for debate.
If Jay dares to suggest the option of trading in our car I nearly come undone. “WE WILL NOT TRADE IN!” I shout. And taking this stance mandates that JAY handle the tedious and rather uncomfortable process of finding a buyer, negotiating the sale, and doing the paperwork.
This time, though, I decided that I would sell the car myself.
After all, it’s my car in my name and I’m THIRTY so it’s high time I start doing these things. Plus secretly I believe that I’m a way better negotiator than my dearest husband.
I list the car on Craig’s List and Auto Trader. I get it detailed. I start fielding calls and emails.
Check! Check! Check! Easy, easy, easy.
Why didn’t I do this before? Selling your car is totally SIMPLE.
You see what’s coming, don’t you? A big fat breakfast of EATING MY WORDS. Yeah.
The first person who looks at the car decides to buy it.
(I am such an amazing saleswoman)
His name is Happy (I’m not even making this up) and he’s from Canada. Happy is his nick-name, short for something like Hareekmetshex Bazzlemubp.
Here’s the thing. From the day I met Happy, my name has been Irritated. Because that man drives me crazy.
We make a deal, he gives me a $500 cash deposit, and we go our separate ways. Since he’s from Canada and I’m from the U.S., we need to have all sorts of paperwork to finalize the deal. Like, for example, I need to get the title.
I pay off the balance of the car loan and wait for the title. I call Happy and tell him that I’ll call him when the title comes in. I honestly don’t expect to talk to him until then.
WRONG.
Happy calls my cell phone first thing the following morning and leaves me a voice mail requesting that I call him back. By the time I get the message, I have four missed calls from Happy.
“Hello! This is Happy! How are you?”
“Mmm fine…”
“I called you four times and you did not answer!”
“Yeah, well it’s Saturday. What do you need?”
“Yes, I was just calling to check and see if you got the title yet?”
“No. It’s only been one day, and I told you it’d be at least two weeks.”
“Yes, I was wondering, can you drive to Olympia and pick up the title there?” (Olympia is 2 hours away)
“Uh, I don’t think they let you do that.”
“Can you call and find out?”
This is the first of many, many, MANY calls from Happy in which he makes requests and demands.
Can you take the car into the BMW dealership and have the lights modified?
Can you call the Dept of Licensing and find out the status of the title?
Have you gotten the title yet? Have you gotten it now? Is it there now? What about NOW?
Happy seems to be under the illusion that I’m a CAR DEALERSHIP rather than a PERSON WITH A LIFE.
I start to resent this constant intrusion on my life. I convulse in horror every time my cell phone rings. I hear the word “Happy” and want to punch someone.
Finally, I call Happy to inform him that the car will be sold as-is, and that I will NOT be spending my time running around having modifications made to it.
He gasps, as if I am totally letting him down. HOW DARE I not want to spend a day running errands for him? Isn’t that his right as a buyer of a used car?
I say, “You know, this is turning into a hassle for me. How about if I send you your deposit back and you can find another car to buy. I’m sure I can find another buyer.”
Which turns out to be a good approach. Happy immediately starts to backpedal.
Anyhow. After four weeks of Happy’s daily calls I am ready to tear my hair out.
Then, at last, the title comes.
Happy and I seal the deal, sign the paperwork, and I hand over the car.
Jay and I breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. When we get home, we sit at the dining room table in a minor state of shock, just staring at each other.
Finally Jay says, “What a pain. I am so glad that is over.”
“You’re glad!” I shout, “What about ME?! I’m the one whose had to DEAL with that man!”
“I have to admit that I’ve changed my perspective on trading in,” I continue, “I would gladly hand over a couple thousand dollars to not have to deal with that again.”
Jay nods.
My phone rings.
I look down at the 604 area code and then at Jay. “It’s him!” I whisper in horror.
I answer the phone and Happy is talking fast. With his accent, I can hardly understand him. Finally I make out his words.
“There’s a picture of the WHOLE CAR by the speedometer!” he says, “I was just wondering, what is this picture?”
are you freaking kidding me?
I take a deep breath and then say, “Without looking at it, I can’t really say, but I think it’s always there.” I pause, and then ask the question that really needs to be asked. “Did you check the manual?”
“No,” he says, because really WHY WOULD HE CHECK THE MANUAL WHEN HE CAN CALL ME?!?!?!
I hang up and Jay and I look at each other in disbelief. “You’re going to have to block his calls,” Jay says. “You know he’s going to be calling all the time, about every little thing.”
He’s probably right.
I lay my head face down on the table and practice deep breathing.
Eating your words is exhausting business.
I’m just happy GLAD it’s over.
***
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By Mandy on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
But it sure made a terrific blog story!!! :-D Oh, I’m so sorry. (But GLAD that it happened to you, not me.) tee hee!
Get to blockin’.
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By San Diego Momma on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Are you sure his name wasn’t “Yappy?”
Just checking.
Deb
sandiegomomma.com
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By Angie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Oh man — what a pain in the butt! Sorry that this happened and that it wasn’t a “happy” story. ;) Here’s hoping that he’s done calling!
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By Maureen on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
OMG… Please don’t think all us Canucks are THAT stupid.
We’re happy, sure, but not that Happy.
Damn guy ruining our rep….
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By Peter Hill on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Best presentation ever! Ignite Seattle How to buy a new car
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By KD-Pie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Oh my word. What a fruit loop. At least now you can get a new car. New. C’mon you can do that since you sold your old car yourself! (*wink wink*)
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By HRH on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
That is so funny. I am still laughing.
The one time I sold my car (nightmare) I got a notice two weeks later that it was abandoned on the LA highways…so someone used my car for a week and a half and then left it?? I just don’t get it.
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By Cori@SAHMbles on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
On behalf of all Canadians, please accept my heart-felt apology.
We just bought a car from the U.S. - & no it wasn’t us, we bought an Audi, we used a dealer to purchase the car, and no his name was not Happy, and we traded our Camry in because selling our car was just not worth the hassel.
This post however did make me happy, I mean smile. :)
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By Amy on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
That last line is very clever - hee hee.
My uncle had a dog named Happy that would just as soon bite you as look at you.
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By Lisa on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Sorry Happy was so yappy. Sounds like dealing with him was very crappy!
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By maggie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
oooh, we just decided to try and sell our car ourselves instead of trading in and I am TERRIFIED. I am a very lazy person and I also HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. What’s a few thousand dollars?
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By Mrs. G. on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Happy sounds like a nightmare. I guess it’s OK if your husband is right a few times in the marriage.
You need caller id and fast!
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By Stacy (mama-om) on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Are you sure your name isn’t Funny?
Great story — I’m glad it’s over, too!
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By Carrie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Wow- he sounds like a winner!
We used to have that same no trade-in rule. Then we needed a new car and only had one parking spot and two jobs and a baby on the way and NO SPARE time. We too thought it was worth eating the money to not have to deal with it. Sometimes it really is.
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By Lynette on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Well I will remember THIS story when it’s time to trade my baby in for a new car…I am happy, uhh..glad to heed your warning
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By ReesePie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Oh wow. It sucks a LOT that he has your cell phone number. Blocking his calls is definitely in order.
Yeck.
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By thediaperdiaries on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
I am still with you on the no trade ins and no new car thing. At the same time, I would be getting a new number :)
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By THopgood on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
That was great…thanks for the laugh!
I have an even better idea…lease!
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By bejewell on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
This is hilarious. I’m leaving all the car deals to the Man from now on. Not that I was really tempted, anyway. It may mean betraying the feminist in me, but that sounds like an enormous pain in the keester.
(I love that word, keester, and I’m so glad I found an opportunity to use it. Usually I just say ass, but I’m new to this blog and wouldn’t want to offend you.)
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By Pixie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Wow. You are a brave, brave woman. Men like Happy are the reason we tell our kids not to talk to strangers in the first place. Yikes.
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By carrie on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Time to change your number.
Also, our fathers sound identical! And guess what, we’re on new car #2! Too bad it doesn’t smell new anymore . . .
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By Abbreviated on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
I HATE buying & selling cars.
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By Rachael on Jun 17, 2008 | Reply
Oh my gosh, freaking hilarious and horrible all at once! How long do you think it will be before you can use the word “Happy” without shuddering?
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By Shannon on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
Oh my gosh! Thank you for this story- I will never, ever try to sell a car by myself. Who needs a psycho stalker?
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By McMama on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
I wonder if it’s just easier in Michigan or if it’s just easier when you’re selling a junky old beater (all we’ve ever been able to afford to own, thus sell). Also, I can’t for the life of me figure out why you had to send for a title.
That said, given your experience, I can’t blame you in the least for your change in opinion! Holy cow!
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By World's Greatest Mommy on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
Oh, too funny! I’ll bet you can expect a lot more calls from this guy!
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By Val on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
Ugh, Happy needs to go take a “Happy Pill” and chill!
I hate selling things. Right now I am selling hubby’s dirtbike. I had a guy call the other day asking to buy it for his son. The dirtbike, just so you know, is BIG, FAST, POWERFUL, and built for the motorcross track.
I asked the guy how old his son is….14 and about 135 pounds. I politely told the guy that I could not sell him the bike….that it would kill him. And the guy started yelling and freaking out saying mind my own business. So I did, I hung up.
So, UGH UGH UGH….I feel your pain!
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By Jill on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
You’re one good woman to handle all of that… even with the endless calls from Mr. Happy. I’m all for spending the money so someone else can handle the hassles / nightmares of it…
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By Storm on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
Oh you poor, woman. Glad its over for you too.
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By Carol Van Rooy on Jun 18, 2008 | Reply
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!!…lol
Too funny!!!
Do pop by and say hello to introduce yourse;f.
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By Lanxi on Jun 25, 2008 | Reply
So glad my man used to sell cars when we first came back from China. It comes in handy when you walk into a dealership and say, “No really, I have been here, done that. Give me your final deal, first.”
I have always resisted selling a car myself and if he should ever suggest it, I will immediately point him to your post.
Hopefully, Happy will move on sooner than later!
Lanxis last blog post..Extreme Makeover needed!
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By natalie on Jun 27, 2008 | Reply
that was great! i’m glad it’s over. (it is over right? you did block his calls, right?)
natalies last blog post..Memories
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By Nicholas on Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Sounds like you had a horrible time! That’s why its important to prepare the bill of sale first, so you both know the exact terms of the agreement. I always put a big fat AS-IS on my auto bill of sale before I sell a car.
Nicholass last blog post..The Security Provided By Auto Bill Of Sale Forms
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