The Ped Egg

April 15, 2008 – 7:00 am

First of all, I have to tell you that I have a foot aversion. A serious foot aversion.

I do not like Birkenstocks.

I hate flip-flops.

I despise toe cleavage.

I ABHOR the sound of bare feet sticking and slapping against a hard floor.

I am not a fan of the fatty, callousy, toe-naily specimen that is The Human Foot.

(oddly enough, children’s feet are excluded from this aversion. In fact, I have a strange impulse to EAT them. Go figure.)

A couple of weeks ago Jay and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when this commercial came on for something called The Ped Egg.

Have you heard of it?

OH HOW I WISH I’D NEVER HEARD OF IT.

Here’s the basic premise.

The Ped Egg is an egg-shaped, hollow device where one side is basically a cheese grater.

You rub the cheese grater side of the egg over the bottom of your bare foot, and it GRATES off the DEAD SKIN, which falls into the interior of the egg.

Then, you carefully dump the foot flakes from the egg into the garbage.

It is REVOLTING.

Jay and I looked at each other in disbelief, and then Jay grabbed the remote and backed up the Tivo recording so we could watch it again, groaning and grimacing and making fake vomit noises the whole time.

“That is SO disgusting!”

“I know! Rewind to the part where they empty the flakes again.”

Ah, the late-night bonding. Our marriage is a marvel, indeed.

So anyway, tonight I was on a rendevous to Target when I stopped in the kitchen section. It was one of those dangerous browsing-without-a-list shopping trips.

There, nestled between the Green Bags and Magic Bullets, was a whole row of PED EGGS.

(I PROMISE I’m not making this up)

I stood there, gazing at them in disbelief.

I couldn’t fathom that something like the Ped Egg, which seems to me to be the most random thing in the world, was right there at my neighborhood Target.

Secondly, I couldn’t imagine who looked at the Ped Egg and thought, “I KNOW! We should put this in the KITCHEN section!”

And then there was this teeny-tiny part of me that thought, I could really use one of those Ped Eggs.

Because the truth is, I don’t find MY feet disgusting.

And grating off dead skin from MY foot doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Plus this could open up a whole new avenue of husband-tormenting opportunities.

Look out Jay, there’s a Ped Egg coming your way.

Maybe I’ll even keep it in the kitchen.

(evil laugh)

***
Don’t forget to subscribe to email updates or the RSS feed!

©2008 Absolutely Bananas. All Rights Reserved.

Random Posts


add to kirtsy


33 Responses to “The Ped Egg”

  1. By Feener on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    now i want one .

  2. By Chelsea on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Well, it is the exact same thing as a microplane lemon zester, so maybe that’s why it was in the kitchen section.
    Wouldn’t that be a great marketing campaign? “With the PedEgg, you can slough your feet AND create perfect chocolate shavings all WITH THE SAME TOOL!”

  3. By Velveteen Mind Megan on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    My mom bought one of those. First time I’d heard of it and I couldn’t stomach her telling me about it. Then she tried to demonstrate it and I passed out.

    Well, I could have.

  4. By Sunshine on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    OMG.
    You have crawled inside my brain and stolen my thoughts! The dumping into the garbage is the worst…ewww.

  5. By Kim on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    You are evil. I like it!

  6. By themommykelly on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    My mother has been raving about this thing… like every time she gets a peek at my heels, that is. Sooner or later I am going to have to break down and buy one.

    Leave it to your neighborhood Target stockperson to stock it in the kitchen section… freakin’ hysterical!

  7. By Kimmylyn on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I am completely obessesd with pedicures and smooth feet. I was, (was being the keyword here) tempted to get this contraption but then made myself sick if maybe I grated my feet too far.. yuck.

  8. By Jungles Wife on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Too funny. I avoid flip flops and toe cleavage myself. Feet don’t tend to age well - with or without grating. Enjoy showing them off while you are young.

  9. By Danielle on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I think I just threw up in my mouth.

  10. By A Mom Two Boys on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    So, did you get it? Does it work? I’m totally with you on the foot thing and am secretly completely curious about that stupid thing.

    Living on the coast in CA I can’t avoid flip flops or sandals and need all the help I can get.

  11. By Jen on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    The kitchen section? What the hell? It’s like someone just saw the word “egg” in the name and didn’t bother to investigate any further.

  12. By All Adither on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    i used to feel the same way about feet. Then i got my first pedi and now I feel liberated. Really. For the first time in my life I don’t mind my feet. I don’t particularly like other people’s feet though. Unless they are foot models.

    Also, did you pre-post this? Otherwise, how late did you stay up last night?? It was LATE when we left the Pink Door.

  13. By Baby Mama (Tamra) on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Kitchen section? The person stocking the shelves is thinking “hmm, grated egg. sounds good.”

  14. By ReesePie on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I can’t believe they are so dumb as to put it in th kitchen section. amazing.

  15. By Barbara on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Obviously whoever was stocking had no clue what they were. Mistake the foot for a brick of Parmesan? Either that or someone thought it would be funny.

  16. By Trenches of Mommyhood on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    You need a warning at the top of this post! I was just taking a bite of my sandwich when I read this!
    It made me PIMMAL (puke in my mouth a little).

  17. By Ali on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    oh. my. god.
    i have foot phobia too.
    i might die.

  18. By Maureen on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Ew, Ew, Ew…..

  19. By JaniceNW on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I’m dying to know if it works or not.

  20. By pixie on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Ew! Why was it in the kitchen section?? I am haunted by the image…

  21. By Donna on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    Omigosh, I gag just about everytime they ‘empty’ the PedEgg.

    Now, excuse me while I rinse out my mouth.

  22. By carrie on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    In the kitchen section?

    Huh?

    So gross . . .

  23. By Carla on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    We share the same brain!
    http://fourby40.blogspot.com/2008/03eggs.html

  24. By HRH on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    OMG. I am laughing because lately I have had a bunch of people arrive at my site after Googling “ped egg”. I have never spoken of it, yet they visit me. I didn’t even know what it was. So, I am just warning you that your site stats may jump dramatically from ACTUALLY mentioning the ped egg. You are quite crafty in the marketing!

  25. By Auds at Barking Mad on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I am never, not EVER going to be able to eat freshly grated parmesan without thinking of the Ped Egg….nope, it’s just not happening.

  26. By ::Jenn:: on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    i just wrote a blog about this also!!! i LOVE this thing!

  27. By debawriter on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I TOTALLY have a foot thing, too.

    I just started wearing flip flops out of necessity, after avoiding them for 39 years.

    Also, it would be SO funny, if you put the Ped Egg on the kitchen table and wrote over the “Ped Egg” to make it look like, “Pepper,” and then Jay would sprinkle the skin flakes all over what he was eating!

    HA HA HA HA!

    I’m sorry. Sometimes I regress.

  28. By Zenmomma on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply

    I saw that commercial and I gagged when they dumped the human flesh bits into the garbage. But the thing I remember most is that one of the foot scraping models was also a past contestant on the Amazing Race. Can you say media whore?

  29. By MommyTime on Apr 16, 2008 | Reply

    If Ped Egg is gross, keeping it in the kitchen is even grosser. Unless you use it to grate eggs — which is obviously what Dufus the Target Stockboy thought it was for.

  30. By mommypie on Apr 16, 2008 | Reply

    Okay, now I’m going to REALLY gross you out …

    When I was a kid my mom used to use a lotion called Pretty Feet & Hands. It did basically the same thing as the Ped Egg. She’d spread out newspaper, rub on the lotion and within a few minutes, it was raining flakes.

    I think random drug stores still carry it, if you’re interested in picking up a bottle …

  31. By countrymouse on Apr 17, 2008 | Reply

    I tried to read this earlier today but couldn’t. I had to brace myself to read it just now, because, well . . . ewwwwww!

    I am *nauseated* at the thought of the dead-foot-skin-grater being in the kitchen department . . .

  32. By ????? ??????? on Apr 21, 2008 | Reply

    HI

    It is a very beautiful post and I like it.

  33. By Melanie on May 27, 2008 | Reply

    Welllll…. it’s not so much that the Ped Egg was deliberately put in the kitchen section. It’s that the “As Seen On TV” section is in the kitchen section - and since the Ped Egg is part of the “As Seen On TV” items, there it goes. There’s a bunch of other stuff in the ASOT section that aren’t kitcheny things either - they’re just not as potentially gross as the Ped Egg.

    I actually bought one yesterday. I think it will do well if I use it every day.

Post a Comment