In the lines on my face
April 18, 2008 – 5:07 amSometimes I stand in front of the mirror and look long and hard at my reflection.
It seems like it was just yesterday that I was filled with youthful optimism.
I may not be perfect now, I thought, but I will be.
Some day.
Only the will be never comes and the now just gets more bleak and suddenly I don’t feel so optimistic.
I am getting older. I see that time is drawing irrefutable lines of evidence on my face, at the corners of my mouth and around my eyes.
I see pictures of myself at 20 and think how young I looked.
The flaws that bothered me then are laughable to me now, softened and forgiven by the passage of time.
And I know that ten more years will pass in the flutter of an eye and I will look back on today and think, Wow, I looked so young.
I find myself fascinated with old men and women. With their faces, the lines on their skin, the stoop of their backs.
I wonder what they looked like when they were young. I wonder how they see themselves. I wonder if they feel just as they did when they were 20, if they are surprised when they look in the mirror and see an old person.
I think that this is one of the markers of truly becoming an adult. When we come face-to-face with the inevitability of time and aging and our own mortality and accept it, and then continue on.
I like where I’m at… although this comes as a surprise to me. I’m hardly bothered by the softness of my belly, the lines around my eyes, the thinness of my lips. These things are not bad or good. They just are. They just are me.
Hello, 30.
You’re not so bad after all.
P.S. It seems I confused some of you into thinking it’s my birthday. Not to keep you from sending presents… send away!… but my birthday was months ago. I’m just meaning that I’m snuggling into this new decade rather nicely.
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By crunchycarpets on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
30!!!??
Oh man…at almost 39 I look in the mirror and see my great aunt.
EEEESSSH..
but yeah…it is just me and that is it!
By M on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
acccck, I am so , SO sad at the idea of turning 50 in July. It just can’t be me. I don’t want it to be me. I want it to be the girl down the street, NOT ME! I work with Alzheimer’s patients and I, too, have a fascination with them. I did a photo collage of their hands and it turned out so well. It just shows them so well. Anyway, enjoy 30 and whatever you do, do NOT blink!
By MommyTime on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
30?! Now I really feel old.
Is it perhaps your birthday? Happy Birthday! The good thing to know is that 37 doesn’t look that different than 30. And while 30 looks older than 20, 40 is the new 30, and so on and so on.
By Kimmylyn on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
I so get this post. I am much older than ya.. closing in to the 36 mark this year.. and while the lines are coming weekly it seems my confidence also increases with them.. somthing my 20’s can’t touch.
By princessofsomething on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
I’m turning thirty this year too. It’s kind of freaking me out. I like your perspective.
By Heather on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Keep your heart young, and it will reflect outward.
By pixie on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
You’re just 30?!
I feel no sympathy for you!
By Christine @ Serenity How? on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Don’t worry. 30 is great. I’d LOVE to be 30 again. I’ll be turning 41 next month (thankfully no one believes me when I tell them) and I still feel like I’m 20-something. My body just betrays me once in a while.
By Chilihead on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
My 30s have been so great. I have loved them. I feel good about myself, have the best friends I’ve ever had, and love my family. I’ve finally learned to love myself.
By Mrs. F on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Jenny!
Happy birthday to you!!!
PS You share a birthday with my childhood BFF. Same year and everything. I am currently making cakes and stuff. We will pretend one is for you. hehe
By Mrs. F on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Hi. Me again.
I forgot to say that I am strangely excited to be turning 30 later this year. 30 is the new black. Well, you know, if 30 was a color anyways.
By Jen on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
You’ve got a great attitude! I so did not enjoy turning 30, but you know what–it hasn’t been that bad.
By Ramblin' Red on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
My 30th is coming up in about 13 months…and I’m so looking forward to it!
Honestly, each year I am growing more and more comfortable with myself and I’m psyched to be at an age where others will take me a bit more seriously as well.
I’m glad to hear the acceptance of aging in this post.
By Worker Mommy on Apr 18, 2008 | Reply
Ah 30, I remember it fondly.
I figure I’m going to embrace every year. Hell, I’ll just be happy to be here (of course that may change as I hit 40 in 4 years )
By Stacy (mama-om on Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
I LOVED turning 30. I was really excited about it. So glad to have my terrible twenties behind me.
But, like you say, the body changes. I remember one afternoon when I was in my early thirties and lied down on my bed in the middle of the day and it just felt SO GOOD. I didn’t want to get up. I was tired. Not from lack of sleep but from all the time I’d been alive.
By carrie on Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
I love that. I need to tape it to my forehead to convince myself that 35 is okay, because so far, I’m having a really tough time with it.
By Mommy Cracked on Apr 20, 2008 | Reply
Ugh. I do this ALL the time. I used to think I was so fat…if only my hair was blonde, etc. And now I look at those pictures and I was smokin’ hawt, if I do say so myself! LOL! Definitely not the warped image I kept thinking I was. *sigh*
By selfmademm on Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
Yay to 30!! It really isn’t so bad after all…