Too many fish and a big old chicken
February 19, 2008 – 9:24 pmSomething you may or may not know about the Banana family is that we have fish. Two goldfish, to be exact, named Harry and Bumpy.
Harry and Bumpy are the sole survivors of the Great Goldfish Plague of 2007, in which we had goldfish floating belly-up on a very regular basis. Every time we’d get a new fish to replace one that had died the day before, we’d introduce a new malady that would strike down one of the others on the following day. It was a vicious and seemingly endless cycle of death. Until finally, somehow, it stopped and we were left with Harry and Bumpy.
By mutual agreement, Jay is the official aquarium keeper. His responsibilities include cleaning, feeding, and other related tasks. And he’s good at it… at least he seems to be good at it now that the fish have stopped their daily dying.
One evening a few weeks back we made a family trip to a local pet store to look at the animals. It seemed like something fun to do on a rainy and dreary night. After a few minutes under the harsh light of Petco, I decided to run next door really quick to check out the bargains at the OshKosh outlet, leaving Jay and CJ to look at the mice and hamsters and snakes and birds and fish.
Before I left, Jay informed me that he was considering buying another goldfish. Because two is an even number and everyone knows that odd numbers are BETTER for things like art and centerpieces and (of course) goldfish.
“Well, I don’t know,” I told him, “getting a new fish is likely to start the cycle of disease and death all over again. Maybe we should just be happy as we are. I really don’t want Harry and Bumpy to die.”
CJ’s eyes widened at my last statement. He frantically tugged at Jay’s coat and wailed, “DADDY, I don’t want Harry and Bumpy to DIIIIIE!”
Jay scowled at me before leaning down to tell CJ, “they’re NOT going to die. Well, probably.”
He paused and then added, “it’s just that I’d like to have THREE fish. Two is boring.”
“It’s your decision,” I told him, “just know that if you get another fish and the DYING starts again, I BLAME YOU,” with these foreboding words hanging in the air between us, I turned on my heel and headed for OshKosh.
Fifteen minutes later I was standing in the OshKosh checkout line, piles of clothes on each arm, when Jay and CJ stormed in. Jay’s face was dark and angry. Uh oh.
“What happened?” I asked him, “where’s the fish? Did CJ do something? What’s the matter?”
“That woman,” Jay paused and then continued through gritted teeth, “that woman REFUSED to sell me a goldfish.”
I looked at him in surprise. “Huh? Wouldn’t sell you one? Why?”
The sales clerk leaned toward us, curious to hear Jay’s answer.
“She’s one of those BUSY BODY types of women,” Jay explained, “She asked what size tank we have and how many fish and then she said she was sorry but she couldn’t sell us a third fish because that would be too many for our 6 gallon tank.”
He shook his head angrily and muttered, “Idiot.”
“She wouldn’t sell you a fish?” I was struggling to understand. “But she works at a pet store! Isn’t selling pets her MAIN JOB?”
The sales clerk chuckled as he took my credit card and I added, “It’s not like we are looking to buy the thirtieth or even the fifteenth fish for our aquarium. Three goldfish in a six gallon tank is NOT excessive.”
Jay shook his head, “I know.”
“That’s like, like… discrimination or something,” I added, “She can’t refuse to sell you a fish.”
I took my bag of clothes from the cashier and announced, “That woman and I are going to have words.”
Already, in my head, I was practicing how it would go. I would march into Petco and up to that red-vested woman and I would say, “Excuse me, but we are HERE to BUY a FISH.”
And if she gave me any problems, whatsoever, I would fix her with a withering stare and shout, “SELL US THE STUPID FISH YOU MISERABLE WOMAN!”
It was going to be good.
Or else it would be really REALLY bad.
But as we approached Petco, for some strange reason my feet kept right on going, one foot in front of the other, right on past the doors.
Jay looked at me, “I thought you were going to have words with her,” he said.
I sighed. “I know. But maybe it’s a SIGN. I mean, I wasn’t so keen on getting another fish anyhow. You know, with the risk of death and all.” I paused and then continued, “I think it’s better, more constructive, to just veto their store. Forever. We don’t want to buy a fish from that woman. We’ll take our $2 elsewhere.”
Jay nodded and pretended to agree. But he wasn’t fooled.
The truth is that I was chicken.
So we drove home empty-handed to our six-gallon aquarium and two healthy fish. We’ve never tried again to buy a friend for Harry and Bumpy… perhaps taking it as a sign that the two fish is all we’re meant to have.
But every once in a while I think about the fact that somewhere in the greater Seattle area, that woman is denying goldfish to perfectly good men and women. Because I didn’t stop her.
Would you have?
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By Rosie on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
What on earth was wrong with that woman? She has no right to refuse to sell you a goldfish for goodness’ sake. Ahhhhh! I’m angry. It’s not fair. Do you think she overheard the cycle of death conversation? Or was she just being a mean and grumpy woman?
I may have said something but it would have depended on my mood. Sometimes it’s not worth trying to negotiate with people like that so I don’t bother. Other times though I can’t help myself and rsant like a crzed woman. Though not as crazed as her!
Anyway I think 2 goldfish is best. The third one might have felt left out and questioned its role in the bowl - middle child syndrome if you get my meaning.
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By All Adither on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
No way. I hate confrontation, man. My child has to be threatened for me to lash out.
Angie
http://www.AllAdither.com
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By The Roaming Southerner on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
Okay, I love…”Because two is an even number and everyone knows that odd numbers are BETTER for things like art and centerpieces and (of course) goldfish” So true. Also, I would have wanted to get in that sales girl face, but would never have gone through with it….big chicken #2!
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By Erin on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
It’s not just Seattle. We got the same thing here in Utah. Something about how the fish need to have so much room each and blah, blah, blah. So I said to the guy, “You realize these fish are an inch long? AND…you have way too many in your tanks?!” But then our tank sprang a leak…
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By janet on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
oops. i’m the first one to get in someone’s face about stuff like that. *running and hiding so people don’t think i’m all pushy and scary-like*
but for a fish… hmmm. i hate fish. fish swim in their own … well … you know.
and i should know cuz we have fish that are so big that it takes 2 people to clean the tank. one to clean it and the other to distract the monster fish from EATING THE SCRUB BRUSH! i do not lie.
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By carrie on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
Obviously she didn’t take the “2 Gallons of Water per Fish Class” at PetCo University. Duh!
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By thediaperdiaries on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
I hate to burst you and all the commenters bubbles, but my hubby is a nerdy fish expert. My nerdy, I mean NERDY. I just asked him how many goldfish could survive in a 6 gallon fish tank without telling him any info about your story and he quickly replied no more than 2. Than he launced into some speech about goldfish being cold water something and oxygen levels and my eyes glazed over.
In summary, I don’t think the woman was being rude I think she was just trying to save Harry and Bumpy. So really in some weird way, you should probably go back and thank her for not causing undue stress to CJ. We suffered a recent fish death around here and my 4 year olds reaction wasn’t pretty.
That could be the longest comment I have ever left in my life and it is about fish. Fish….
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By Kimmylyn on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
Fish Laws.. who knew? I would have probably had to hear the answer for myself, but in a nice way. :)
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By Mom of 5 on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
We bought 2 goldfish yesterday. The guy asked us how big the aquarium is. I told him it’s small. He told me we’d just have to look into a bigger one as they grow. Good answer. If these guys live, then we will do that. But the Gang has a high fish mortality rate as of late. I’m not a fish novice. I know what you need for what size. We have 3 aquariums right now at our house. I grew up with fish. But for some reason, fish funerals have been abundant lately.
I probably would have told the pet lady to let me take that chance. Her job is to inform. I didn’t know they could refuse service to you. Even though she was right, I would still be mad. I’d probably call corporate. But that’s because I don’t like being told I’m wrong. ;)
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By Wendy on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
I think about the glass SCONCE on a wall that my sister in law has a fish in and wonder now…..
I’m surprised she didn’t just sell the fish and have you sign a waiver in case your fish all die tomorrow. Ah, once a lawyer…
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By Mamma on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
I’m actually strangely relieved that there are some people who work at Petco who care about animals–as misguided as her concern for goldfish may be.
And no more than two goldfish in a six gallon tank? My guys Buck and Eddie lived in a fishbowl together in college. Granted one day Eddie was stuck gills up along the curve of the bowl and I think I detected the ever so slightest self-satisfied look on Buck’s face.
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By Hillary on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
My husband and I were both rolling on the floor laughing about the woman who wouldn’t sell you goldfish! So funny!
But on a serious note, I really am sorry she wouldn’t sell you a goldfish. How rude!
If it makes you feel any better though, I probably would have chickened out too.
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By MamaGeek on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
She seems a little…off.
You are so smart for ‘delegating’ the aquarium janitorial duties to your husband. That job totally sucks the donkey!
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By AFRo on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
Sounds to me like the lady was asking for confrontation because a REAL salesperson would have explained the dangers of too many fish (i.e. death and disease) and then introduced you guys to a bigger tank that could hold FOUR fish.
You were a couple of “suckers” (from a sales point of view) with a kid in tow. Showing the little one a big tank and telling HIM about how many fish could fit would’ve resulted in you HATING the woman, but you would’ve left with a brand new tank and another fish in tow.
THAT is what a REAL salesperson would have done.
I would’ve been passive aggressive as usual and gone to the website and left a complaint.
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By Mrs. F on Feb 19, 2008 | Reply
Oh wow, they would not sell us fish for our 30 gallon tank because they said the two turtles we already have living in there would eat the new fish.
Puh-lease. They only ate one of the four fish that were co-habiting with them in the beginning of time. (We had to get rid of the three remaining fish when we moved).
I didn’t really care. I did not want the fish that bad anyways…Plus, I am pretty non-confrontational (read:scaredy-cat)
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By ReesePie on Feb 20, 2008 | Reply
Feel free to boycott Petco and come to my pet store in Key West instead… :)
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By PufferfishMommy on Feb 20, 2008 | Reply
We had the same experience at our Petco, only the sales person was a big, muscular guy with a ponytail and tattoos up and down both arms. So, I was a little too intimidated to argue with him. LOL. He told me that he could sell me the fish, as long as I’d sign something saying that Petco wasn’t liable for the fish if (WHEN!) they died within two weeks time.
So, I left and came back a few weeks later. When he asked the size of the aquarium, I told him I didn’t know, but it was “pretty big”. No problem. The fish have thrived ever since, and that was over a year ago.
Bev.
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By Queen of Shake-Shake on Feb 20, 2008 | Reply
Jenny, I’m so letdown.
There you had an opportunity to change the world and you kept walking.
tsk. tsk.
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By MommyTime on Feb 20, 2008 | Reply
Well, I don’t know exactly what to say because really I’m on your side, Bananas about not wanting to screw with the careful balance of life you’ve got going on. Though perhaps all the dying was because you had 842 goldfish jammed into a six gallon tank that really could only support two — so it’s not that surprising that you ended up with only two. :) Here’s my take on the inevitable wave of death that overtakes some tanks. Never did figure out how to stop it. It just stopped on its own. Now I too am terrified to add to the tank, though we have four 2″ fish in a 27 gallon tank right now…
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By Scout's Honor on Feb 21, 2008 | Reply
Do what we did when we had fish. Buy feeder goldfish.
Nope, then PETCO doesn’t care because those fish are meant to be eaten by pets. At 10-25 cents a piece, our two goldfish in our 10 gallon tank lasted FOUR years and grew to 6-7 inches long each. Bargain! Healthy fish that were just as gold and pretty. Now, all the $3 each neon tetras died. The $5 fancy fish died. And we returned our the plecostwhatevermadilly. You know the algae suckers. That big devil was agressive eating the good fish slime off our fish. I took him back to walmart and put him back in the tank so someone else could enjoy him. I didn’t have the heart to flush the evil bastard.
So, now we don’t have fish because I was the only one who was sad when those feederfish errr trout sized gold fish died from my toddler dumping the entire costco size fish food into the tank for the 2nd time in one week.
Sniffle. Still miss those fish.
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By Heidi on Feb 23, 2008 | Reply
I come from the farming school of thought on pets: The house is where you go to escape from the animals. So no, I wouldn’t have said anything. Fortunately for me, my husband agrees, so our kids will grow up thinking that pet stores are just like zoos - you don’t take anything home.
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