Parenting by the book

There are times when I feel like patting myself on the back or giving myself a big old high five because I am such an awesome parent. Oh if only everyone could parent like me, I think, I’m just SO good at it, and then I strut around judging others and generally feeling smug.

But big heads are not attractive; everyone knows that. And the good thing about children is that they’re really, REALLY skilled at keeping their parents’ heads from enlarging, expanding or growing even the tiniest bit.

The INSTANT that I start to feel smug about my parenting tactics, CJ is there to slap me down.

Oh no you don’t! and WHAM! he’s throwing a full-fledged tantrum in the most public of places or KAZAM! he’s racing around the house with a knife or BLAM! (everyone’s favorite) he’s locked me in my bedroom because if you slam the door just right the handle falls off and then MOMMY CAN’T GET OUT (evil laugh here).

The last month or so has been so full of parenting catastrophes that now I’m at the point where I think I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE DOING THIS because it’s likely that a chihuahua or even a sourdough biscuit could parent better than me.

Typically when I feel desperate and needy I turn to the library. I browse through stacks of books and pull every single one that looks like it might possibly be able to provide the MAGIC SOLUTION to my problem.

Which is how I end up with a stack of 10 or 12 parenting books (all due back in 2 weeks).

Jay sees my stack and looks at me like I’m crazy… and maybe I am. But the fact is that I don’t know the answers and so I figure there must be someone out there who does… and surely if you had the answers, wouldn’t you write a book about it? At least that’s what I’m hoping.

So far I’ve read about the perils of television (oh the horror!), why having stuff is bad, the importance of play, HOW to play with your child, parenting without fear, and Parenting with Love and Logic (the lesser known “Parenting with Hate and Stupidity” must have been all checked out).

It all sounds so good in theory… I read each book and think, YES! OF COURSE! THIS IS WHAT IS MUST DO! But then brutal reality of actually having a four-year old takes hold and I find myself plagued by uncertainty and indecision.

CJ throws a platter at my head and I stand, frozen.

WAIT! This isn’t in the book!

What would a Love & Logic parent do?

How do I let the NATURAL CONSEQUENCE make this moment into a SIGNIFICANT LEARNING OPPORTUNITY (SLO)?

My brain begins to melt and run out my ears and onto the floor… meanwhile CJ is off and onto his next trick.

I’ll just clean up this puddle of brain melt and think about the right response for NEXT TIME, I think, yes, next time I will have figured out JUST what to do.

And my little criminal gets of scot-free.

But the next time comes and CJ pulls something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (and also not covered in those blasted books) and I find myself once again standing in a puddle of brain with no words and my mouth gaping open.

I’m beginning to think it might be more effective to just bang the books against my head.

***
Don’t forget to subscribe to email updates or the RSS feed!

©2008 Absolutely Bananas. All Rights Reserved.

***
Like what you're reading? You can help me achieve my life-long dream of publishing a book by supporting this blog, which is a platform that can help me get published! (Click here to learn more about my book) There are lots of ways to show your support:

• Subscribe by RSS or Email
• Like Absolutely Bananas on Facebook
  
• Share this post on Facebook (click the link below "Related Posts")
• Tell a friend about Absolutely Bananas
• Leave a comment. They're like candy, but without the calories. :)

Thank you for your support! It's incredibly encouraging simply to have people reading what I write.
xo Jen

Related Posts:

• To be a parent
• On skin color
• Presidential duties 101: a really confusing primer

Share on Facebook