For Local Blog
Too embarrassing not to blog
January 16, 2008 – 5:40 pmYesterday CJ and I were at the grocery store. He is seated in the cart facing me as I push him around the store and load up our cart.
Somewhere between the pasta and the canned goods he reaches out and grabs my left breast.
Ack!
I try to hide my dismay (it’s never good to let them know when they’ve ruffled you, lest they do it again and again and AGAIN). Calmly and quietly I say, “CJ, that is NOT OK.”
A very naughty smile spreads across his face.
“What’s in there mommy?” he asks me with feigned innocence.
I try to ignore him.
“What’s IN THERE?” he says, louder this time, and he points directly at my breast in case I’m confused about what he’s referring to.
Surreptitiously I scan the aisle. Several feet away is a 20-something man huddled over a can of soup. Can he really be that enthralled with soup selection, or is he pretending not to hear us?
“WHAT’S IN THERE MOMMY?!” CJ shouts at me.
Must shut him up…
“Um, well, you know… SKIN and tissue and… stuff,” I say.
He looks at my slyly, “And MILK?” he asks, loud enough for the whole aisle to hear. “There’s MILK in there, right mommy?” he reaches out and gives my boob a good grab for emphasis.
I’m sure my face is as red as the tomato soup that is in danger of being dropped by my now-obviously-laughing friend.
“Um no, no milk in there right now!” I stutter, and frantically push the cart around the corner and into the next aisle.
Must. escape. the. knowing. smiles…
These are the moments that define motherhood, don’t you think?
***
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By Amy on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Oh gosh. I hear ya! When Sugarplum was about 4 years old I was getting a philosophy degree. One day on campus I was speaking with a classmate. A male one. She pipes up with “Mommy is wearing her PRETTY PINK UNDERWEAR today!!” My face still turns pink thinking about it.
Gah!
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By Carrie on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
This is why we have kids, right? Because high school wasnt humiliating enough for us?
:)
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By Wendy on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Motherhood=public humiliation. From the very beginnings, for me. Like when pregnant me went into a local hospital to check it out and the young receptionist said, “if you don’t mind my asking, how old ARE you? (I, stunned/stupid, answered) OH, so you really decided to wait!”
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By Donielle on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
OMG, I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair! Maybe I’m glad mine can’t talk yet!
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By Loralee Choate on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
You haven’t earned your striped until you’re felt up in public by a little kid.
HEE.
Hideously embarrassing yet so freaking funny.
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By Annie on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Very, very funny! But, only because it happened to you, not me ;)
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By Queen of Shake-Shake on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Wait until he shouts out, “Mom farted!”
That is a defining moment in a mother’s life.
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By Sunshine on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
My Em, age 3, enjoys playing gender identification games at the store by shouting at me who has a “gina” and how has a penis as we pass them in our cart.
Yeah, I don’t take her out much.
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By Krista on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
This is like the third post in as many days that I’ve read where a child in some form “groped” the mama in public and/or said something embarrassing! It must be the season…
My son isn’t old enough to do that yet, but when I was little I announced to the whole store when my mother turned 40. ;)
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By Chris on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
LMAO! Oh yes, definitely the moments that define mother hood :-) You handled it well though ;-D
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By PinksandBluesGirls on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Haha! Aren’t you so glad that blogging was invented so that you have a venue in which to share these gems!?
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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By pootandcubby on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Nice!
My daughter recently unzipped my shirt and yelled out, “I see your boobs!” Luckily, the only audience was my husband and the baby.
-andi
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By Not the Queen on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Nice! My oldest told everyone she saw about where babies come out of right after her sister was born. She also still informs everyone that her sister drink milk from mommy’s boobies. Everyone. Everywhere we go. Every time we’re out.
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By Chelsea on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
I once had my two-year-old and newborn in a department store dressing room with me when my daughter loudly (and clearly) yelled, “Mommy has two nipples!” I could hear giggles up and down that hallway.
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By Maureen on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Too bad you weren’t in the dairy section.
You could have pointed to the cartons and said “Yes, CJ, THAT’s milk!”
and proceeded on your way…
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By Ali on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
oh yes…parenting sure can be fun, eh?
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By Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
I had a boob-moment with my daughter today too, but at least we were home in the privacy of our living room. Yikes!!!
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By Mrs. Schmitty on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Been there. My daughter will just walk up to me and pat mine sometimes. Just like a dog’s head. I’m usually having a conversation with someone, it’s SO embarrassing!
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By Slackermommy on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
I’ve got nearly 10 years of humiliation under my belt. The good thing is my kids are getting to the age where I can return the favor.
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By Anonymous on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
That was so funny. My son also has a knack for public embarrassment. Recently he was curious about the anatomy of a store manequin. He checked out her breasts and then lifted up the skirt. I know he was curious, but, that’s enough of that, lets move along!
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By beta mom on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
I can’t be any funnier than your boy, so I won’t even try!
Laughing so hard.
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By carrie on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Oh dear god. He. Did. Not.
I have so been there, just not for a long time. :)
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By slcmom on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
That is HILARIOUS! My daughter (18months who I am trying unsuccessfully to wean) lifted up my shirt a few weekends ago when we were enjoying a weekend coffee shop brunch and tried to get into my bra for her “drinks”. For me most of my embarrassment about nursing was when I was 12 and my mom was nursing my baby brother. For some reason I remember being HORRIFIED when she would nurse him at the park, etc. So now I just relax and laugh it off. And if my daughter needs to hug and pat my boob’s in the grocery store I smile and tell her those are her drinks and give her a hug back. Other people seem less embarrassed when I handle it like it’s no big deal…but I’ll see if I can still manage that when she’s three! Thanks for sharing that adorable moment!
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By missburrows on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
Well, I am probably the by-stander who is giggling and honored to see a sweet mommy-child moment.
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By Carla Stream on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
Motherhood Defined. Heelarious!! Thanks!
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By kellyo75 on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
Absolutely a defining motherhood moment! My kids do that crap all the time. So much fun!
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By Queeny on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
A defining moment indeed. I recently had to scold my 7-year-old daughter because she knowingly palmed both of my breasts just for the hell of it.
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By cheezewhizandmustard on Jan 17, 2008 | Reply
Oh Lordy. I thought it was bad when my Sacha started sticking his hand down my shirt to look for a soother!
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By SAHMmy Says on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
HaHaHa! I was quite used to my two year old son grabbing my breasts in public and yelling “Boobies!” but alas, my darling mother was not. She quickly learned his favorite game when she took him shopping after his baby sister was born. She swears she will never return to that Target.
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By Rachel on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
I really shouldn’t laugh since Alyssa feels it is necessary to pull down any shirt that I have on and show the world my boobs, but I cannot help it! That’s hilarious!
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By Don Mills Diva on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
Oh absolutely. You are not a mom until you’ve been thoroughly humiliated by your child in front of a hot 20-something!
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By Real World Martha on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
Motherhood!!! My little one kept calling them my belly. Since I am not small on top I didn’t take that as a compliment!
Debbie aka The Real World Martha(S)
http://realworldmartha.wordpress.com
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By The Daring One on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
Little Magoo likes to give mine a little curious love squeeze or poke from time to time too, just to see if they’re still squishy.
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By Jenni on Jan 18, 2008 | Reply
My feeds weren’t updating, so I missed this until today. So, so, so funny. I have a few similar tales, as I’m sure every mom does.
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By Renaissance Woman on Jan 20, 2008 | Reply
That is a funny story…thanks for sharing!
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By Lisa on Jan 20, 2008 | Reply
You should have said, “No sweets, those are just for show now.” heehee.
A while ago, Seth tried to tell the cashier at Best Buy that I had “boobie hair.” Oy
Like Wendy said, motherhood=public humiliation.
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By Nora Bee on Jan 21, 2008 | Reply
Hilarious!
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By monkeysandmarbles on Jan 21, 2008 | Reply
that’s hi-frickin’-larious! kids…you really can’t make this stuff up, can you?
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By Hillary on Jan 22, 2008 | Reply
Oh my gosh! This cracks me up! Oh the wonderful and embarrassing things I have to look forward to when my son can talk (he’s 9 months now, so we’re safe for the time being).
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