The BEAST to the rescue

On Monday nights CJ has swimming lessons at a local pool. It’s not far from our house, but the road there goes up and over and down the other side of a rather large hill.

Tonight after lessons are over we walk outside to a most astounding (and totally revolting) development.

It’s hailing. HARD.

The ground is covered with several inches of icy white stuff.

OH CRAP.

My little BMW may be sassy, but it isn’t such a great snow car, especially with the BALD TIRES.

But I am a strong woman. I was born in ALASKA (it doesn’t GET colder than that) and spent much of my teenage years navigating the snowy peaks of Idaho. Oh sure I was in a 4×4 with studded snow tires and going really really slow. But still… surely I can handle a little bit o’ slippery here in Seattle.

So I pull out of the parking lot (fish-tailing just a little) and I point my car towards The Hill making a mental note that the hail has turned to snow. HEAVY snow.

EGAD. Better hurry.

We start up the hill (which is white with a heavy layer of slippery hail and snow) and I start to worry. The car is slip..slip..SLIPPING all over the place. And to make matters worse, a stop sign at the bottom of hill prevents me from taking a running start.

This could get ugly.

Sure enough, not even halfway up my wheels begin to spin and slip and I lose all traction. The car that is right behind me (WHY?) is in mortal danger of kissing my rear-end. I flash my emergency blinkers as I start to slide backwards down the hill.

AYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

This is not good.

What would YOU do if you found yourself sliding backwards down a hill?

I do the only thing I can think of… flip open my cell phone and hit #2 for Jay. When he answers I shout into the phone, “I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT HOME!”

“Yeah, it’s snowing here,” he says helpfully.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

“I am SLIDING DOWN A HILL BACKWARDS!” I scream at him. Just what I expect him to do with this information I can’t say for sure.

When it becomes clear that Jay is not going to magically transport me home, I hang up on him and re-focus my attentions on “driving.”

Somehow I slip and slide off that hill and onto a side street where I park and practice some deep breathing. CJ’s eyes are big as moons, shining from the backseat.

“What’s going to happen NOW, mommy?” he asks me.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

I call Jay again.

And fifteen minutes later we are greeted by a VERY DEAR and WELCOME sight. Coming through the snow like the most gallant of white horses is…

THE BEAST

CJ and I heave great sighs of relief at the sight of our noble rescuer.

The snowy hills are no problem for The BEAST.

His windows are slightly foggy and the heater blows out cold air, but when there’s gitting to be done, the BEAST will GIT YOU THERE. And isn’t that all that matters, in the end?

***
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