The BEAST to the rescue

January 15, 2008 – 3:48 am

On Monday nights CJ has swimming lessons at a local pool. It’s not far from our house, but the road there goes up and over and down the other side of a rather large hill.

Tonight after lessons are over we walk outside to a most astounding (and totally revolting) development.

It’s hailing. HARD.

The ground is covered with several inches of icy white stuff.

OH CRAP.

My little BMW may be sassy, but it isn’t such a great snow car, especially with the BALD TIRES.

But I am a strong woman. I was born in ALASKA (it doesn’t GET colder than that) and spent much of my teenage years navigating the snowy peaks of Idaho. Oh sure I was in a 4×4 with studded snow tires and going really really slow. But still… surely I can handle a little bit o’ slippery here in Seattle.

So I pull out of the parking lot (fish-tailing just a little) and I point my car towards The Hill making a mental note that the hail has turned to snow. HEAVY snow.

EGAD. Better hurry.

We start up the hill (which is white with a heavy layer of slippery hail and snow) and I start to worry. The car is slip..slip..SLIPPING all over the place. And to make matters worse, a stop sign at the bottom of hill prevents me from taking a running start.

This could get ugly.

Sure enough, not even halfway up my wheels begin to spin and slip and I lose all traction. The car that is right behind me (WHY?) is in mortal danger of kissing my rear-end. I flash my emergency blinkers as I start to slide backwards down the hill.

AYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

This is not good.

What would YOU do if you found yourself sliding backwards down a hill?

I do the only thing I can think of… flip open my cell phone and hit #2 for Jay. When he answers I shout into the phone, “I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT HOME!”

“Yeah, it’s snowing here,” he says helpfully.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

“I am SLIDING DOWN A HILL BACKWARDS!” I scream at him. Just what I expect him to do with this information I can’t say for sure.

When it becomes clear that Jay is not going to magically transport me home, I hang up on him and re-focus my attentions on “driving.”

Somehow I slip and slide off that hill and onto a side street where I park and practice some deep breathing. CJ’s eyes are big as moons, shining from the backseat.

“What’s going to happen NOW, mommy?” he asks me.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

I call Jay again.

And fifteen minutes later we are greeted by a VERY DEAR and WELCOME sight. Coming through the snow like the most gallant of white horses is…

THE BEAST

CJ and I heave great sighs of relief at the sight of our noble rescuer.

The snowy hills are no problem for The BEAST.

His windows are slightly foggy and the heater blows out cold air, but when there’s gitting to be done, the BEAST will GIT YOU THERE. And isn’t that all that matters, in the end?

“You can set my truck on fire, and roll it down a hill
But I still wouldn’t trade it for a Coupe DeVille.”
-
Joe Diffie, Pickup Man

***
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19 Responses to “The BEAST to the rescue”

  1. By All Adither on Jan 14, 2008 | Reply

    Huh. We got no snow here. Just some slushy stuff.

    Sliding down a hill backwards sounds awful (in a car). Fun (on a sled).

    Angie
    http://www.AllAdither.com

    [Reply to this comment]

  2. By IzzyMom on Jan 14, 2008 | Reply

    OMG! I was holding my breath reading that. Glad the Beast came to get you and ya’ll are okay.

    And thanks so much for putting up our Green Mom Finds button :)

    [Reply to this comment]

  3. By My Semblance of Sanity on Jan 14, 2008 | Reply

    My hubby had to come get me once!
    I was on a girls’ weekend and was on my way home (1 1/2 hrs away) and had a panic attack in a tunnel.
    He had to wake up the babies, have his dad drive with him and come get me.
    His dad drove my car home, we sat silently in our car on the way home.
    UGH!
    Glad you are both OK!

    [Reply to this comment]

  4. By Nora Bee on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    Yay! Rescued! That would take some minutes off my life, for sure.

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  5. By Life As I Know It on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    YAY for the BEAST.

    Ack, what a scary ride home. I can tolerate driving in snow, but not ice. I’ve been stuck too many times slipping and sliding on sheets of ice. Good times.

    [Reply to this comment]

  6. By Momma TaderDoodles on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    My hubby has an antique (just because of age) K5 Blazer, jacked up and souped up that I can not stand… I hate this thing with it’s grand 5 MILES TO THE GALLON… but then again… when the ice is falling and all I have is my little putt putt car… it sure is a blessed site.

    I’m glad you got home safe! I’m picturing your pretty little car next to his big ole truck and it’s a little like Beauty and the Beast!

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  7. By Redneck Mommy on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    LOL.

    How I wish I had a BEAST to pull my sorry butt out of the snowbanks I frequently manage to find myself parked in.

    Instead, I got a shovel and a bag of cat litter from my husband this Christmas cuz he’s tired of having to rescue my sorry arse.

    [Reply to this comment]

  8. By Amy on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    HAHAHA! I love Beast stories!

    Thought sure you were going to hit the person behind you…glad that didn’t happen!

    [Reply to this comment]

  9. By Rachel on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    So did the driver of the car behind you have a heart attack?? That is scary! I HATE driving on snow or ice, therefore, I do not!

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  10. By Ali on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    yay for the beast! i probably would have had a gigantenormous panic attack…

    [Reply to this comment]

  11. By Lela on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    I didn’t know Captain Obvious lived at your house too! It didn’t snow nearly that bad on the Eastside, but for the dusting we got, they delayed school 1.5 hours. Wish I would have know that before I woke at at 6:30!

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  12. By Carrie on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    I’m glad you’re okay!

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  13. By Chris on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    OH how terrifying!!! I am so glad you two are safe!! I would have completely panicked.

    Thank goodness for beasts!!

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  14. By Queen of Shake-Shake on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    Go Beast!

    I wouldn’t know how to drive in snow. If you’ve lived in cold most of your life and you can’t do it, I don’t think I ever want to try.

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  15. By Stephanie on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply

    Whew! Glad you were rescued! We had ice here this morning, and I had a bit of trouble making it out of our steep incline of a driveway, but then all was well.

    [Reply to this comment]

  16. By PinksandBluesGirls on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply

    My husband drives a BEAST-ly car, but it is just a car, so it would NOT git us out of a jam like that!! Good thing for your BEAST, though!!

    Jane, Pinks & Blues

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  17. By skiplovey on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply

    Yep that’s why one of our two vehicles will always be a truck. I never liked ‘em much until it came with the husband, now we’ve always got a new use for it I can’t imagine my life without a truck.

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  18. By Loralee Choate on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply

    I about had a panic attack reading that.

    My roommate had a piece of crap hatchback car in college named, “Otis” that you had to PLUG IN at night and it did the same thing.

    Thank God there were no cars behind is.

    We had no glorious beast to save me…we walked 3 miles back to our dorm. :(

    [Reply to this comment]

  19. By jennifer on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply

    I’m totally freaking out EVEN MORE about moving north to a place covered in snow and ice. Thanks.

    [Reply to this comment]

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