I resolve
January 3, 2008 – 4:22 am(no, I’m not talking about a toxic lemon-scented cleaner, although that’d be a good guess…)
After reading some excellent New Year’s resolutions, I have decided to throw my hat into the ring.
So here goes… let’s hope I can keep ‘em!
1) Laugh at myself at least once every day. And furthermore, I commit to you, my dearest friends, relatives (gak!) and readers, that I will share my humiliation publicly so that you can laugh WITH me!
2) Start slipping the word “snap” into my everyday conversation. I don’t know why, but I just love it when people say “oh snap.” I want to be one of those people! (see how quickly I’m living up to my FIRST resolution?)
3) Figure out which presidential candidate I want to vote for. Or at least gather enough information to SOUND LIKE I know which one I want to vote for. Or at least figure out WHO IS RUNNING. (President? Is someone running for president?)
4) Convince people to give me free stuff. I’m still reeling from my failure to get a free Roomba… and why should I have to buy my own Wii? Don’t these people know I’m a BLOGGER?!
5) Implement new, HIGHLY AMUSING telemarketer response strategies. Because shouting SHUT UP YOU SCUM-SUCKING LOWLIFE! into the receiver before hanging up has gotten rather dull.
6) Get older. Oh snap I am SO all over this one what with the turning 30 and all.
Ok, now you really need to go read this post and this one too for even BETTER and (more importantly) FUNNIER resolutions. And after that, come on over to SMB and let’s talk about our blogging resolutions!
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By mommymommyland on Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
I can help with 3 and 5
3. Bill Richardson
5. I am going to try and convince them to save the world!! By mentioning obscure “green” knowledge, like PVC is poisenous, or that their is a floating island of trash in the pacific that is bigger than texas, or …
Well anyways, goodluck with your resolutions!!!
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By All Adither on Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
Oh snap. I like. Can I steal it?
Angie
http://www.AllAdither.com
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By hello insomnia on Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
Jenny, my resolution is to say “Sistah Girl” more often. I think that and your “oh snap” would make us get along swimmingly.
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By SJSFalter+ on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Delurking to say…Ive been trying to use “snap” in place of more hmmm…vulgar, choice, preferable to me (not really but they sure are easy to say)…for way to long. Good luck girl.
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By Loralee Choate on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Birthday’s lose a lot of appeal after 30. Sigh..
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By shaz on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Oh Snap!
can we just say it for no reason even?
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By For the Love... on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
On #4…you can try…I was told that my free Swiffer Vac would arrive during the 3rd week of December…still waiting…
#5…the phrase “Sorry she/he is dead” has worked well for me. I have a friend that asks for their name and home number so that he can return their call later….They hate that….
Happy New Year!
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By Amy U. on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
You know, I really need to get better at laughing at myself, too. I take myself way too seriously, as my husband proves on a daily basis.
Assertagirl
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By moosh in indy. on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Hmm, that deciding on a president one is alluring.
Cody said the word caucas last night and I thought he was referring to something yucky.
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By Ali on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
hey…i need someone to give me free stuff too…how can we make that happen???!! :)
thanks for the shout-out…i blush!
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By Rachel on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
“oh snap” becomes infinitely more annoying when you have a 7 year old that says it all.the.time.
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By GHD on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Those are some great resolutions! My favorite is number 2. We should all strive slip the word “snap” into our everyday conversation. The world would definitely be a more amusing place!
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By JaniceNW on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Since you’re turning all of 30 I guess Oh! Snap! is good. I must tell you that it is totally OUT with the high school kids. LOL.
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By Slackermommy on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Oh snap, I didn’t know this was the new cool slang. And I thought I was cool.
Great resolutions. Happy New Year!
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By jennifer on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Enough already about turning 30, you youngun’ you!
LOVE “Oh snap”! It fits right in with my resolution to stop cussing!
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By carrie on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
I would be all over saying “oh snap” if it didn’t come out of the boy’s mouths at least 10 times a day.
But the telemarketer response thing is super cool. My Dad always asks for their home number so that he can interrupt their evening.
I’m just not that quick, I’m afraid.
Oh snap.
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By rainbabies on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
I love the “Oh Snap” resolution! I would also LOVE to convince people to send me free stuff! LOL
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By Gnightgirl on Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
I just started incorporating “suh-NAP” into my vocabulary, only half the time I get so excited about bringing it out that I say “suh-MACK!”
Fuh-shizzle. Since my son and his friends grew up, I’m out of the slang loop.
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By Nora Bee on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
These are some of the best I’ve seen. Thanks for the giggles :-)
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By Life As I Know It on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
Oh, snap! I hate getting older and none of those presidential candidates are worthy of my vote. I’m tired of voting for the lesser of two evils every election…
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By PinksandBluesGirls on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
Fantastic resolutions!!
May a steal a few?? Or all??
:)
Happy New Year! Love your blog!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues
http://www.pinksandblues.com
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By PinksandBluesGirls on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
Now these are what I call resolutions!! Love ‘em!
I need to get on a presidential bandwagon, too… there are too many to choose from right now!!
Happy New Year!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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By Little Irish on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
You are officially my new favorite blogger! Thanks for the photoshop laughs!!
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By SAHMmy Says on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
Watch Chicken Little 205 times like I have and #2 will be a breeze.
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By Mert on Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
I love all of your resolutions! They are a lot more interesting than mine :D
Oh snap is good… because snizzle my dizzle is officially dead.;)
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By Shauna Loves Chocolate on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
30 is the new 20.
Nice list.
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By Heidi on Jan 10, 2008 | Reply
My favorite method that I’ve ever heard of for dealing with telemarketers requires a talkative child. Just hand the phone to the kid and tell them the person wants to hear all about their day at preschool (or their latest toy car obsession, or whatever). I haven’t tried it myself (my kids aren’t that talkative), but just thinking about it makes me giggle.
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