Bananas gone bad and other nonsensical topics
January 28, 2008 – 8:02 amNever mind that I had 101 topics at the tip of my tongue last time I was in the car. Or that I lay in bed awake last night thinking of THE ABSOLUTELY BEST AND MOST PERFECT POST EVER.
Ideas vanish like snowflakes in the warm glow of my computer screen and I am left with a big fat nothing.
This is why I love Google Analytics. After several minutes of desperately tapping my fingers on the keys and hoping that something will come, I start to find other ways to entertain myself. And what better than to explore the wild and wondrous ways that internet surfers happen onto this blog.
Giggle with me, won’t you…
I “heart” lard
Dude, who doesn’t?
how does gas-x work?
I’ll try to put this in plain language that we all can understand. See, first you have gas… and then you don’t. Pretty slick, really.
i want my head on someone else’s body
hmm. Sounds like a personal problem.
hot to photoshop your face
first you’ll want to learn hot to spell.
i don’t care i don’t even like jelly
I think this would be a great name for a band. Or a blog. It is sort of a weird search term though, don’t you think?
i trashed my living room with mud
CJ? is that you?
i will brush my teeth in just a few min. ok mom?
ok, sweetie.
i want to be a tollbooth attendant
a person’s gotta have dreams. Dream on, little one, dream on.
can i send an ambulance to someone’s house anonymously?
I sooo want to hear the story behind this one.
robot facial massager
hmph. Sounds sort of terrifying, actually.
air mattress blogs
interesting. I’ve never considered this an air mattress blog… but then it is awfully full of hot air and on the puffy bouncy side. This could be a whole new genre for me!
do ants like milk?
seriously? you’re googling this? GO TO BED!
Something I’ve learned since starting this blog is that a lot of people with some REALLY weird questions regarding bananas… questions that manifest in their google searches. Take these, for instance.
bananas for cleaning teeth
ewww!!! I don’t even want to know how your breath smells!
bananas gone bad that have red inside
throw them away. RIGHT NOW.
i wonder what gases turn bananas bad
From this day forward I’m going to start all my google searches with “i wonder.”
jealous bananas
ferocious bananas
I’m guessing this and “jealous bananas” fall into the BANANAS GONE BAD category that we saw just a bit earlier…
Then there’s your typical Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus marital type issues. I mean, who DOESN’T look for the answers to these questions on google?
my child is always falling off the couch while my wife is home
have you considered a nanny cam? or a new wife? or a japanese-style cushion-on-the-floor couch? or having your child wear a helmet?
stressed because husband never helps with housework
welcome to the club, ma’am, welcome to the club.
“ice cold feet” + “husband”
“kick him”
best wife award html code
aww, honey, you shouldn’t have!
And finally there’s the question of the ages. The one that EVERYBODY wants to know.
ARE BANANAS FATTENING???
You tell me.
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Don’t forget that this Friday (Feb 1st) is Hot Mamas Know time! I want your tips. I need your tips. Bring me your tips!!
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©2008 Absolutely Bananas. All Rights Reserved.
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By Jenni on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Everybody else does these how-did-they-get-to-my-blog posts, but they are JUST NOT FUNNY. You are so, so, so hilarious!
Or maybe it’s just 2am and my lack of sleep is making me delirious.
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By nicki on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Oh man, that was funny! Why are people so weird? Now that I think about it, I would NOT want someone to find a list of things I’ve googled in my internet career. It’d probably be embarrassing.
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By Midwest Mommy on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
You get the best ones! Too funny!
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By mommymommyland on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Don’t we all blank out when it is actually time to write? I mean in the car tons of ideas!! In front of the computer with an hour to write? nada
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By Hillary on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Wow. I have truly been enlightened about bananas.
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By Ask Wifey on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Too funny! I found your blog on someone’s blogroll and clicked on it because I feel absolutely bananas about 6, no 7 days of the week… and the name is so damn cool!
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By Kimmylyn on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Oh my .. this was just hysterical. who the heck would google ferocious bananas.. that person should maybe seek help or something..LOL
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By Ali on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
i don’t care i don’t even like jelly
…that’s from DAne Cook. hilarious.
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By Queen of Shake-Shake on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Haha! I love google searches.
People are SO crazy. I don’t feel so alone.
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By Elizabeth on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
I don’t know why someone would google “ferocious bananas”, but doesn’t it sound like the title of a children’s book?
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By Redneck Mommy on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
I want to know what a ferocious banana looks like…LOL.
Got to love the kooks that crawl out of Google…
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By missburrows on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
I’m surprised you didn’t get
Bananas Gone Wild!
or
When Bananas Attack!
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By carrie on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
None of us have any exuse for boredom with google around!
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By Daisy on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Go bananas, go-go bananas! Are bananas fattening? I hope not. When I make my favorite banana bread complete with chocolate chips, they might be.
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By AFRo on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
This is priceless. I think I’m the ferocious banana today…among the other names I’ve been called and what’s this Friday’s thing? Please explain because I’m the newbie, but I don’t mind commenting on good stuff.
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By RachelT on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
Your blog is never lss than outrigth entertainment! I loved this post as I love all of your posts. I cannot believe you ever get bloggers block!
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By MamaGeek on Jan 28, 2008 | Reply
do ants like milk? THAT is the question.
Hilarious, only you Bananas. Only you. :)
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By Jack's Mommy on Jan 29, 2008 | Reply
oh my god..i have never in my life laughed so hard and so loud at a blog post!!! even my parrot is laughing (and we’re home by ourselves which makes this all the funnier). it reminds me of the time i noticed someone found their way to my site with the search term “pigs in underwear” (nevermind that my site was about collie dogs).
ROFL..thanks for a great post and great laugh!!
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By Anonymous on Jan 30, 2008 | Reply
That was one of the most hilarious blog posts I’ve ever read.
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By Rachel on Jan 30, 2008 | Reply
Bwaaaahahahahaha!!!!! I love those!
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