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Back to the FUTURE
January 11, 2008 – 8:50 amMeet Young Jenny. Jenny is in her 20’s. She is young, youthful, and NOT AT ALL old.
Young Jenny has traveled forward in time with the assistance of her super-snazzy time machine.
Why has Young Jenny made this dangerous and exciting journey to the future, you ask?
To meet Older Jenny, that’s why. Older Jenny is in her 30’s. She is not so young or youthful, and she is OLDER than Young Jenny.
Young Jenny has embarked on this journey through time with the intent of gleaning wisdom and keen insight from Older Jenny’s aged person.
Older Jenny: Hey! You! Narrator lady! What’s with the aged talk? Don’t you know that 30 is the new 20?
Oh, sorry about that Older Jenny. I didn’t mean to offend.
Young Jenny: But wait a minute. If 30 is the new 20, what does that make me? The new 10?! I think NOT!
Older Jenny: Hmmph. Good point.
So I guess we’ve established that 30 is… well, 30. Now on with this ridiculous tale!
It’s an undisputed fact that with age comes wisdom, better (or at least more expensive) wine, and strongly smelling cheese.
It’s wisdom that our young heroine seeks this day (although she probably wouldn’t say no to the wine and cheese).
Young Jenny: Well, well, well. Look at you… older and more wrinkled. At least you’re still getting around without a cane.
Older Jenny: Watch the sass, girly! Respect your elders!
Young Jenny: Right. So what words of wisdom do you have more me, anyway? Surely you’ve learned something deep and insightful in your EXTRA DECADE of life?
Older Jenny: (Long pause) What are we talking about again?
Young Jenny: (Heaves a deep & weary sigh) YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME ADVICE!
Older Jenny: Oh. Of course. Why didn’t you just say so? First off, you need to find yourself a good-fitting pair of jeans. I favor Gap since they make my hiney look supa-fine.
(did you really think I’d post a picture of MY back-side for the whole universe to see? I’m 30, not STUPID)Young Jenny: Good-fitting jeans. (Writes this down on a tablet) Check.
Older Jenny: Next you’ve gotta go out and get yourself a pair of I-don’t-need-a-job-I-don’t-care-if-I-have-wrinkles-I’ve-got-great-boots boots.
Like this.
Young Jenny: Okaaay… (she pauses) Um, can I say something?
Older Jenny: Of course.
Young Jenny: I’m surprised that so many of your recommendations seem to be, well erm, superficial. I thought my 30’s would be all deep and stuff.Older Jenny: (leans in and says in hushed voice) Can you keep a secret?
Young Jenny nods and eagerly waits Older Jenny’s next words.
Older Jenny: If you want deep, GO JUMP IN A LAKE. (she leans back and cackles)
Young Jenny rapidly writes this down. Our heroine, while young, isn’t all that bright.
Young Jenny: Hey! You! Narrator person! I can hear what you’re saying about me, and I don’t appreciate it!
Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize.
Older Jenny laughs…
Young Jenny: Stop laughing! It’s not funny!
Older Jenny: Oh, it’s funny alright…
Narrator: Why is everyone laughing?
… and curtain.
So. What have we learned from today’s tale, let’s discuss.
1) Turning 30 appears to be linked to a marked increase in talking nonsense, BIZARRE BEHAVIOR, and having conversations with and about yourself.
and,
2) If this is your time machine,
you might want to consider staying home.***
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By nell on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!!!
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By Jenni on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
So funny!
And 30 is definitely the new 20.
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By SnapHappyInkyMomma on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
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By Maureen on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Ha! Great story… and Happy Birthday.
30 is NOT old. Believe me…. Go forward even more into the future and just ask your 80-year old self.
She’ll tell you.
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By Liz@thisfullhouse.com on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happiest of happy birthdays to you, Sweetie. Just wait until you hit your 40’s. It gets better, I swear.
[blank stare]
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!!!
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By Queeny on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday, youngster, from a real old-timer — I’m 40 … ok 41.
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By Jen on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy birthday girl! Welcome to the big Three-Oh club!
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By PinksandBluesGirls on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
I have everything written down now for when I join the 30 club in 3 years!
Happy Birthday!!! Today is also my mother-in-law’s birthday… she’s in her 60s, so I guess that’s DOUBLE the 30’s wisdom? All I know is that I send her card out yesterday so hopefully she’ll get it today… or else!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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By gabes_mom on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
happy birthday!!!!
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By All Adither on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
HBD. 30s are better than 20s, I swear.
Also, don’t forget to tell young Jenny to invest in a good pair of tweezers.
Angie
http://www.AllAdither.com
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By Mert on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! I hope your day was filled with gorgeous boots and jeans that make your butt look supa fine… and less talking to yerself ;)
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By ARay & TK on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
Welcome to the 30 club! I just joined on Tuesday and so far so good!
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By Sunshine on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
And, oh honey, my Young Me would be so disappointed in how much my Old Me likes to stay home….*sad*
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By Amy on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! This was SO funny!
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By Not the Queen on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
Glad you’ve survived so far. It gives me hope for my own dreaded 30th.
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By Trenches of Mommyhood on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
You cracked me up with this one! Happy birthday. And what about age 35? (which I will turn in less than one month–egads.)
[Apparently almost-35-year-olds now say "egads." Ewww.....]
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By Mommy Daisy on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
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By Slackermommy on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
I’d love to hang out in your head for a day. Very funny stuff.
Happy Birthday!
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By Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Let’s see…
Talking nonsense, bizarre behavior and talking to and of myself?
Well, no darn wonder I’m having so much fun in my 30’s!!
Happy Birthday to you!
The 30’s are WAY better than the 20’s. I know..I’m almost to my mid-thirties!
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By skiplovey on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
“Narrator person! I can hear what you’re saying about me, and I don’t appreciate it!” - Hilarious and good job!
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By Paula on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! My birthday was last Friday and I turned 39. No make that 29. (evil maniacal cackle). I have no doubt in my mind that when I turn 40, I’ll be talking to myself non-stop.
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By Zenmomma on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! This was so fun to read.
FWIW 30 is young, very young. I’m turning 48 in a couple of weeks. I hear it’s the new 37.
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By Mommin' It Up! on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! You are VERY funny! I am also an OLD JENNY, I turned 30 in September, and my new saying is “THIRTY is the new AWESOME!”
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By Loralee Choate on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
If I could go back in time I would probably just bitchslap myself, do a lot of shaking by the shoulders and scream “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?” a lot.
Sigh…
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By the mom on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday!
For years, I planned on having a really great mid-life crisis when I hit 30. I was going to fly to coop, ditch hubby & kids for a few weeks (of course, I’d have arranged for my mom to come help out) and go meditate with the monks in Nepal. But then I ended up being 8 months pregnant on my 30th birthday and the plans kind of fizzled. Sigh.
So now I’m planning a REALLY GREAT mid-live crisis for my 40th birthday!! :-)
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By carrie on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday Jenny!
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By Lisa on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
HAPPY BIRF-DAY WOMAN!
Go out and have some fun with your 30-year-old self!
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By Haley-O on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! And, 30’s not old. It’s HOT! I know cuz I’m in my 30s…. :)
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By the rabbi's wife on Jan 13, 2008 | Reply
Dang, is this what I have to look forward to in 6 months? great.
Happy Birthday anyway.
you should definitely go to Alki bakery to celebrate!
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By Stephanie on Jan 13, 2008 | Reply
Happy Birthday! The only bad thing about being 30? No more shopping in the juniors clothing section. Under any circumstances. Ha!
:)
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By Rachel on Jan 14, 2008 | Reply
Hilarious!!!! 30 is totally the new 20!!! Happy Birthday!
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By monkeysandmarbles on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply
Happy belated 30th Birthday!
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By jennifer on Jan 16, 2008 | Reply
Well I’m nearly a week late in telling you this, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
My 20 self wasn’t too bright either! Great advice.
And again, happy birthday.
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