Back to the FUTURE

Meet Young Jenny. Jenny is in her 20′s. She is young, youthful, and NOT AT ALL old. 

Young Jenny has traveled forward in time with the assistance of her super-snazzy time machine. 

Why has Young Jenny made this dangerous and exciting journey to the future, you ask?

To meet Older Jenny, that’s why. Older Jenny is in her 30′s. She is not so young or youthful, and she is OLDER than Young Jenny.

Young Jenny has embarked on this journey through time with the intent of gleaning wisdom and keen insight from Older Jenny’s aged person.

Older Jenny: Hey! You! Narrator lady! What’s with the aged talk? Don’t you know that 30 is the new 20?

Oh, sorry about that Older Jenny. I didn’t mean to offend.

Young Jenny: But wait a minute. If 30 is the new 20, what does that make me? The new 10?! I think NOT!

Older Jenny: Hmmph. Good point.

So I guess we’ve established that 30 is… well, 30. Now on with this ridiculous tale!

It’s an undisputed fact that with age comes wisdom, better (or at least more expensive) wine, and strongly smelling cheese.

It’s wisdom that our young heroine seeks this day (although she probably wouldn’t say no to the wine and cheese).

Young Jenny: Well, well, well. Look at you… older and more wrinkled. At least you’re still getting around without a cane.

Older Jenny: Watch the sass, girly! Respect your elders!

Young Jenny: Right. So what words of wisdom do you have more me, anyway? Surely you’ve learned something deep and insightful in your EXTRA DECADE of life?

Older Jenny: (Long pause) What are we talking about again?

Young Jenny: (Heaves a deep & weary sigh) YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME ADVICE!

Older Jenny: Oh. Of course. Why didn’t you just say so? First off, you need to find yourself a good-fitting pair of jeans. I favor Gap since they make my hiney look supa-fine.

(did you really think I’d post a picture of MY back-side for the whole universe to see? I’m 30, not STUPID)Young Jenny: Good-fitting jeans. (Writes this down on a tablet) Check.

Older Jenny: Next you’ve gotta go out and get yourself a pair of I-don’t-need-a-job-I-don’t-care-if-I-have-wrinkles-I’ve-got-great-boots boots.

Like this.

Young Jenny: Okaaay… (she pauses) Um, can I say something?

 

Older Jenny: Of course.

Young Jenny: I’m surprised that so many of your recommendations seem to be, well erm, superficial. I thought my 30′s would be all deep and stuff.Older Jenny: (leans in and says in hushed voice) Can you keep a secret?

Young Jenny nods and eagerly waits Older Jenny’s next words.

Older Jenny: If you want deep, GO JUMP IN A LAKE. (she leans back and cackles)

Young Jenny rapidly writes this down. Our heroine, while young, isn’t all that bright.

Young Jenny: Hey! You! Narrator person! I can hear what you’re saying about me, and I don’t appreciate it!

Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize.

Older Jenny laughs…

Young Jenny: Stop laughing! It’s not funny!

Older Jenny: Oh, it’s funny alright…

Narrator: Why is everyone laughing?

… and curtain.

So. What have we learned from today’s tale, let’s discuss.

1) Turning 30 appears to be linked to a marked increase in talking nonsense, BIZARRE BEHAVIOR, and having conversations with and about yourself.

and,

2) If this is your time machine,

 

you might want to consider staying home.***
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