After bravely going where no [sane] person should ever go (the roads and parking lots outside of the mall on a pre-holiday weekend), I have something to say.
Hey you!
All you holiday drivers!
Yeah you with the cell phone and the SUV overflowing with bags.
And YOU with the zombie stare and white knuckles clenching your steering wheel ever-so-tightly.
And you, who refuses to let ANYONE merge in front of you (including me who smiled with such sweetness)…
Clearly you have not been informed of some VERY BASIC FACTS of holiday driving.
Do let me fill you in.
1. YOU are not the only person in the universe!
2. Letting a single car merge in front of you will NOT cause your death or dismemberment. It probably won’t even make you late.
3. THERE ARE OTHER PARKING SPOTS! It’s not worth risking your life over, seriously!
4. Just because you’re not looking at me DOESN’T mean I can’t see you! Hello! You just cut me off… stop pretending it didn’t happen!
5. Two words: Comfort & Joy. Seriously, the holidays are supposed to be a HAPPY, FESTIVE time, not a time of petty acts of civilian terrorism in the Target parking lot.
SIMMER DOWN!
Have some hot cocoa!
Smile like you mean it!
Hum a happy tune!
The true test of holiday spirit is NOT how you act towards your family while wearing your Christmas sweater and sipping a cup of steaming cider. It’s how you behave to COMPLETE and TOTAL STRANGERS when you’re running your holiday errands.
Comfort & Joy, people, Comfort & Joy.
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xo Jen
December 10, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Holiday. Driving. Sucks. In the interest of comfort and joy, I think I’m going to start mowing people down with my shopping cart. That would give me a whole lot of comfort and joy.
December 10, 2007 at 12:39 pm
A. Men.
Simmah down now. Simmah down.
Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch
December 10, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I think the rudeness of people is definitely proportionate to the proximity of Christmas Day. Running into Costco for some dog food was like going to battle!
December 10, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Jennifer already said it, but I was just going to say “AMEN!” I was out today for a short time with my sweetie and talk about CRAZY!!! Gosh, I think someone has forgotten what Christmas spirit should be. Those people who zip in front of you to steal the parking spot you have been waiting for 5 minutes to get into… GRRRR! Thankfully I’m almost done with all my Christmas stuff.
December 10, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Amen. Amen. and Amen.
December 10, 2007 at 5:16 pm
This is exactly why I’m so glad I have my shopping DONE! (I know, weird, especially for me!)
December 10, 2007 at 7:33 pm
You tell ‘em girl!
I agreeeee!
December 10, 2007 at 7:42 pm
forget holiday driving…it’s the holiday drivers…they suck! they are what keeps me from holiday shopping. they are what drives me to spend waaaayyy too much money on the internet! IT’S ALL THEIR FAULTS!!!
have a nice night…gotta go shopping!
December 10, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Is it not against the law in Washington to talk on your cell phone (without a headset) while driving?
No one seems to know this, but my husband said it’s true.
December 10, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Holiday drivers= Increased online shopping (at least for me). This post needs to be plastered on the billboards along city freeways during the holidays :)
December 11, 2007 at 1:50 am
This is SO true. Prob why I like to do my shopping at about 8 p.m. on a Wednesday an hour before the mall closes. Its only an hour and I’ve got to go back a few times but less rude and crazy!
December 11, 2007 at 5:46 am
It’s a b****y battlefield out there in the shopping centres. Spirit of Christmas – bah. Never seen people look more miserable. I hate this consumerist stuff. It never used to be like this!
December 11, 2007 at 9:51 am
I was at a very busy mall yesterday waiting for a spot close (being pregnant carrying a 21 month old is not easy) when the person backed out a group of 5 teenagers came from the other direction and took the spot. I so wanted to pull a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment on their asses. “Face it I am older and I have more insurance.” But I didn’t, I am just too Holly Jolly for that :-)
December 11, 2007 at 10:52 am
On the cell phone? That’s probably me, but it’s not my fault. The hubs can’t seem to let me be when I’m out shopping. I have no idea why.
December 11, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Or, as my 6 year old sings, “Joy, covered in joy.”
December 11, 2007 at 12:37 pm
A-men sistah. The only thing worse than the holiday drivers is the holidazed mall shoppers.
*le sigh*
December 11, 2007 at 12:58 pm
A freakin men!!!!
December 11, 2007 at 1:38 pm
What I love are the people who sit and wait and wait for a closer parking spot. Meanwhile, I’ve parked down the row and am in the store while they are still waiting.
December 11, 2007 at 7:13 pm
This could just be for drivers in general.
Well, in my neck of the woods, anyway.
December 14, 2007 at 5:41 pm
OMG, I can totally relate to this!!! Bad driving makes me crazy. You can just imagine how nuts I am during the holidays.
(BTW, thanks for starting Hot Mamas Know! I love the tips that are coming out of that!!)
December 14, 2007 at 9:38 pm
And this, my dear friend Jenny, is why I choose to shop during the week, before Thanksgiving, and online. I just can’t stand the stress!
Smiling Mom