The Christmas recap with a MORAL for ME

This year we spent Christmas eve and the following morning at our house with some of Jay’s family and mine. There is NOTHING I like more than being at home for Christmas.

We opened our presents to each other on Christmas Eve. CJ got one present from mommy and daddy and a few from the rest of the family…

That night I stretched out next to CJ on his bed in the moments before he drifted off to sleep.

He rolls over, looks at me with wide, serious eyes and says, “Mommy, I got A LOT of presents.”

“Yes you did, CJ,” I answer, even though he only got a few. I know there are MANY, MANY more to come.

Then he says, “I don’t need ANY MORE presents.”

I’m surprised, but I play along. “Really?”

“Will Santa bring me more presents while I’m sleeping?” he asks.

“Yes, I think he probably will,” I say, knowing full-well that I have six carefully wrapped packages hidden away in my bedroom just for that very purpose.

“But WHY mommy?”

“Well, I guess because he likes you and wants you to have a nice surprise.”

“But I don’t NEED any more presents,” says my little CJ.

Blatant greed I would have had a response to. But this? Not so much.

Later this night the children are snug and soundly sleeping and we grown-ups are setting up the Santa scene. Jay has had the brilliant idea to decorate the living room for enhanced CHRISTMAS MORNING MAGIC, and is stringing little white lights everywhere. My sister is cutting out elaborate paper snowflakes that will be hung from the ceiling. (Santa can’t make it snow really but he can make it snow sort of.)

My sister-in-law brings out her children’s presents. They have two each.

TWO EACH!

(CJ has six)

!!!

And so I make an executive decision. I cannot in good faith allow Santa to be so dramatically unfair in his gift-giving.

And so I only set out half of CJ’s gift stash, leaving the other three presents hidden in my closet.

It’s an exercise of will. After all, I carefully picked out EACH and EVERY one of those presents for maximum excitement and delight!

Six was my attempt at MINIMALISM, believe it or not. Three seems downright mean.

Christmas morning dawns bright and clear and three sleepy-eyed children bounce upstairs to jostle us awake. CJ is shouting, “THE PRESENTS ARE HERE! THE PRESENTS ARE HERE!”

His eyes widen when he sees the magical scene that Santa had left in the living room. He points at the snowflakes suspended in the air and whispers to me, “Santa did that.”

The kids open their presents and dig through their stockings. CJ holds up a box of Tic-Tacs and announces, “JUST what I’ve ALWAYS WANTED!” His eyes sparkle with excitement.

And when the presents are opened, the children play and the weary parents relax.

I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas morning. And I’m pretty sure CJ would agree.

Here’s the thing. At this time of the year… at Christmas, and birthdays, and pretty much all the days in between… it’s so easy to overdo it. To want to give our children EVERYTHING they could possibly want and some other stuff that they don’t think they want but really WE know they need because it’s educational and developmental and rated highly by that one parenting magazine…

Overdoing it is easy. It’s instinctive. It doesn’t take much thought (only a credit card or two).

But it’s usually not the case that the easy way is the right way. Giving CJ mounds of presents won’t make him happy. It won’t make him a better person. It really doesn’t do much more than teach him to expect more and more and MORE in a grand spiral of wanting and endless greed.

If I put the emphasis on the presents… on giving so many, the right ones, more than last year, bigger, better, louder, larger… I take away CJ’s ability to see the other stuff. The magic. The love. The feelings. The IMPORTANT stuff. The stuff that DOES make you happy.

And what kind of mom would that make me?

So this is my “Note to self” for next year when I start getting caught up in the inevitable sales and the excitement and the media hype and the “Isn’t that cool,” the “Oh he would LOVE this,” and the “all his friends have one”…

STOP!

Take a deep breath!

The presents are NOT the important thing!

DON’T OVERDO IT!

Someday he’ll thank you.

***
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