5 reasons why you should know how to Photoshop your head onto someone else’s body

1. Because some day you might be invited to a high school reunion when you’re NOT looking so hot. Photoshop head-transference skills provide you the option to pursue PLAN P- in which you send the organizer a note that goes something like this:

Dear Marsha,

Sadly I will not be able to attend the 20th high school reunion due to pressing concerns brought on by my vast wealth and prestige. However, I am attaching a recent self portrait so that you know what I look like these days. Feel free to print out several poster-sized copies to hang around the reunion.

Cheers,
Jenny

2. Because it’s never a good idea to go into a major hair change without a bit of foresight…


Red is actually kinda fun… but only with black leather pants and killer abs.


Black… not so much. We’ll leave that to Catherine Zeta Jones.

3. Because you can’t pick your family, but sometimes you wish you could. Less than stellar relations are no longer a problem… with Photoshop you can create a NEW family whose portrait will look stunning above the mantel.


You have to understand, CJ, the Angels were my family. The best family I could ask for.

4. Because you wouldn’t want your children to know THE TRUTH about how you spent your younger years (knitting and sipping tea? Come ON!) With Photoshop, your history is yours for the making! Goodbye boring momma, hello fab new me!

This is mommy rock climbing, before you were born.

And this is when I won Miss America.

And THIS is when I was really into body building.

Ahh, the memories.

5. Because while a middle-aged mommy blogger up in Seattle might be a little bit blah, you’re sure as heck gonna sit up and take notice when you see that blogger lady’s profile picture that looks like THIS:

or THIS:
or THIS:

Yes, it’s true. Due to begging, pleading, and otherwise hysterical mobs of readers the likes of which haven’t been seen since Beatles mania*, I have decided to share my magical knowledge of photoshop head-transference with you. Coming soon to a blog near you… Wait for it… wait for it…

*By “begging, pleading, and screaming hysterical mobs of readers the likes of which haven’t been seen since Beatles mania,” I mean a few people have requested it.

It’s up! For a how-to guide, see How to Photoshop your head onto someone else’s body in 19 easy steps.

***
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13 Comments

  1. Laughing out loud!

  2. I love the beauty pageant picture!!! LOL. I just found your blog and I’m so glad I did. It’s so funny!
    -Jane
    mywoodenrobot.wordpress.com

  3. Your expression in the Beauty Pageant is hilarious. REALLY? ME?

    Hee hee.

    I am now inspired to get to work in photoshop.

    Angie
    (www.AllAdither.com)

  4. YES, YES! WE LOVE IT.
    `caps show me screaming.`
    RAWK ON, PHOTOSHOP GODDESS!
    MORE BEST OF BANANAS!!!
    GIVE US MORE.

    Love,
    Your adoring & screaming fans!

  5. Hello! This is hilarious, thanks for the laughs!

  6. I love how you used lipstick in the Wonderwoman pic–awesome!

  7. love the SKILLZ.
    love.

  8. lol…. All excellent tips! Have a super Christmas!

  9. I am in awe of your mad skillz woman!

    Have a Merry Christmas! :)

  10. SO FUNNY! I have to do the wonderwoman one. have to.

  11. The Sydney Bristow Alias pic is still my fave.
    And I so wish I had photoshop, but I don’t.
    Step 1 of your how-to should be “Buy photoshop”

    Mrs. Mustard

  12. You are too funny! I just love it.

  13. Your post makes one think! Great article. Thanks for allowing me to comment!