I have a little person who sits on my left shoulder and convinces me to agree to things that I never wanted to do. Things that I THINK I want to do but deep down I really probably DON’T want to do.
Like a couple of weeks ago, I was dropping off CJ at preschool when Mini Me tapped me on the shoulder and convinced me that I should volunteer to substitute teach on Tuesday.
Why not? I only have TWELVE people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and a MILLION things to do. Why not sign up for ONE MORE?!
Mini Me was very convincing.
I should have squashed him.
So that is how I came to be, Monday night, in a dither trying to prepare for a half day of “fun.” I made lunches for CJ and laid out my clothes and made sure I was in bed by 10.
And then I lay there, looking at the ceiling and WISHING I could go to sleep.
About four hours later I finally drifted off.
That’s ok, I thought the next morning, when I awoke with a splitting headache, with enough coffee I can overcome ANYTHING, even this headache and 12 screaming children.
So I poured myself a big one (coffee goes well with denial) and we were on our way.
The morning seemed to go smoothly… I cheerfully greeted each parent, these smiling people who got to LEAVE their children behind with ME while they spent wonderfully productive and peaceful child-free mornings.
I tried not to feel bitter as I introduced myself and memorized the children’s names. You volunteered for this, I reminded myself. I willed my eyelids to stay open.
Fortuntely there were no major incidents, I did NOT have to perform CPR (which was a good thing since I’m sure I don’t remember how), and CJ behaved himself in my presence.
So I was feeling pretty smug when I went into the bathroom a few hours later. I knew I could survive!
Until I noticed my shirt.
It was inside-out. Obviously inside out.
Mini Me and I took a long look at me and my inside-out shirt and baggy sleep-deprived eyes and finally Mini Me admitted, Ok, maybe you HAVE taken on too much.
Oh sure, NOW you tell me.
Next time I must IGNORE idealistic but unrealistic Mini Me. I need to practice THIS mantra so that I can say it when called upon to perform some unappealing task,
“I’m sorry, I WANT to want to, but I don’t actually want to.”
If nothing else, it should confuse the asker so that I can make a quick getaway.
***
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xo Jen
November 24, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Ha HA HAAAAAAAAA! Too funny Jenny. Welcome to the “stay at home” mommy world. :)
November 24, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Mini-mes can be very dangerous! They are always trying to act “bigger” than they really are. Sorry to hear about your shirt, hey, maybe no one noticed or just thought you were trying to be ultra-stylish, the way clothes are nowadays, you can get away with almost anything : )
November 24, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Just keep saying to yourself “No means Yes! No means Yes!” Then, when you find yourself being asked to volunteer your time, you’ll immediately say “NO!” with no qualms about it because you will have convinced yourself that you’re actually saying Yes!
Circular logic. I know.
November 24, 2007 at 7:31 pm
HA!!!
I once discovered I’d worn my shirt inside-out to the toy store while Christmas shopping. We ran into Hubs’ ex-wife.
I fired my mini-me (who had advised that we cram shopping into one harried evening after work) immediately.
November 24, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I’m thinking mini-me should just shut the hell up. :)
November 24, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Thanks for that. Good stuff!
November 24, 2007 at 9:25 pm
“I want to want to…” LOL!
November 25, 2007 at 8:35 am
That is a fantastic mantra and one I should adopt myself!
November 25, 2007 at 10:03 am
Ha Ha Ha! So funny! Of course your shirt would have been on backwards. Everything couldn’t go perfectly smoothly or perfectly, could it?
November 25, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hilarious; I’m getting better at turning down requests that will ultimately suck out my soul, as I (ahem) get older. Where I’d used to hem and haw and feel guilty, I’m often tired enough now just to blurt out “Good God! No!”
There’s still a part of me that wants to take on every “cool” thing I see, though. There’s a group of women in this town called “Downtown Independent Volunteer Association” (DIVAS), that helps promote our downtown by throwing various events. I’m a downtown girl, and dying to worm my way into this group, even though I don’t have one spare second to help them out. I’m doing good so far, staying away from them.
November 25, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Oh, I have to learn that mantra. I have this weird out of control ‘pick me’ hand that flies up in the air when I least expect it and volunteers me for all sorts.
Bad hand.
November 25, 2007 at 2:39 pm
You are a brave woman. I had to drop out of co-op preschool b/c I couldn’t STAND being in the class.
I always raise my hand too…I hate that about myself.
November 25, 2007 at 9:24 pm
LOL! Good one. I NEVER listen to the voices in my head, which, at times either gets me INTO trouble or OUT of it… depends upon the situation.
November 26, 2007 at 1:35 am
We need muzzles for those Mini-Me’s don’t we?
I’ll bet nobody noticed though, the other moms were probably too focused on getting the heck outta there for their “alone” time!
At least that’s how I am at Katie’s school in the morning, I just try to avoid eye contact and anything close to stimulating conversation.
November 26, 2007 at 8:19 am
Give Mini Me a Xanax and flip her off your shoulder when she’s not looking.
November 26, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Oh that’s too funny!
I have a mug that says “Stop me before I volunteer again!”
I’m so bad at listening to my mini me that often I don’t hear him until AFTER the fact.
November 26, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Oh man, how embarrassing! Yeah, I know what it means to take on too much. I am glad you survived it with just an inside out shirt-it could have been worse.
November 27, 2007 at 11:09 am
It cannot possibly be wrong for another mother to laugh like a fool at that, right? Glad you at least survived.