Another one bites the dust
November 6, 2007 – 5:52 pmCJ is desperate for a pet.
When he sees a dog at the park, a cat sitting in the window, or a cute squirrel, he invariably tugs on my sleeve and whines, “Mommy! I want to get a PET!”
It seems that Bumpy and Harry (the only two survivors of our own personal Fish Cemetery) aren’t cuddly enough. Go figure.
So last night we are hanging out at home and CJ finds a tiny spider making its way across the living room rug.
Unaware of the looming danger, it busily goes about its business… until CJ swoops down with his stubby fingers to not-so-delicately lift it into a cardboard box.
Proudly, he announces, “Mom! Dad! Look… I got a spider!”
“I think you killed it.” Jay tells him.
“NO I DIDN’T!!!” CJ shouts emphatically. And sure enough, there’s a little wiggle left in our eight seven-legged friend. At least for now.
“Well you definitely broke its leg. See how he’s dragging it funny?” Jay points out.
To which I respond by shooting Jay the old stink-eye. Why ruin a perfectly entertaining activity by pointing out this sad fact? If CJ believes that his special new friend is in excellent health, then who are WE to tell him otherwise?!
Fortunately, CJ doesn’t seem phased by Jay’s gloomy health update. He happily spends the evening constructing a home for his new spider friend using marbles and rocks and wooden blocks, bits of cardboard boxes, and a leftover tea-light candle.
After a while, I leave the room to check my email. When I come out, CJ tells me, “Mommy, my pet spider is sleeping.”
From behind him, Jay gestures wildly, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. I get the feeling that the spider is definitely NOT sleeping.
When CJ turns his head, Jay whispers to me, “The spider is DEAD as a DOORNAIL. CJ keeps pinching him between his fingers when he picks him up.”
But CJ is blissfully unaware of his best pal’s untimely demise. “I will name him… SLEEPY.” He tells me, “Because he is SO sleepy.” He giggles, “He sleeps ALL THE TIME!”
Right.
Ten more minutes go by, and CJ is getting bored… and tired. This is a dangerous time of the night for everyone involved. His actions become unpredictable… erratic… violent.
Suddenly, in a fit of rage, he crumples the spider’s dead body between his fingers.
“I’m wrecking my spider.” he announces, teeth gritted. “He’s coming all apart.”
He pauses, looking at his handiwork, and his evil smirk is replaced by a look for horror.
“Ohhh!” he moans, “Now I don’t have a PET!” and he hangs his head sadly.
And so we have decided that now is NOT a good time to get CJ a dog. Or a cat. Or a rabbit. Or even a pet squirrel. Basically, if it’s furry and fuzzy and eats and poops… WE ARE NOT GETTING IT.
End of story.
***
Thanks for all the excellent feedback on my Big Idea. Look for Hot Mamas Know coming SOON!!
And, a huge thank you to Chris for nominating this post for the Oct. Perfect Post award. I am honored, seriously!
***
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By Maureen on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Um, yeah. Probably a good idea not to get a pet that he can actually squeeze to death with love….
Maybe when he’s a bit older. But just make sure it’s fast enough to run away if things get violent again. ;)
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By Mamma on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Thinking CJ might need a sturdier pet–like a mule.
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By carrie on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
That boy is braver than me.
I run from spiders.
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By kellypea on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Hmm…pets. They require so much care. We’ve always had them, love them, wouldn’t speak badly of them in a room where they can hear…but as much as I worked over the years to teach my boys responsibility in the care of our pets — who do you think ends up taking care of them? *sigh*
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By Smiling Mom on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Damn Robot should seriously have picked that little creepy crawly up in the first place!! :-)
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By My Semblance of Sanity on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
OHMYGOODNESS!
This was precious!
Thanks for sharing!!
I laughed and laughed!!!!
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By Zaya on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
*laugh* He needs a Tamagotchi, or whatever those things are called. At least that way if he kills it, well you don’t have to bury it… or wipe it on a napkin and tuck it in the trash can…
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By Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
I wish I didn’t have pets. They’re too much after having kids.
Congrats on the award!
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By Midwest Mommy on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Oh my gosh! He has such an imagination! Although I wasn’t expecting the whole squishing of the spider part.
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By Moving Mama on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
My suggestion: Pet Rock or Chia Pet. Durable. Low Maintenance. Easily Replaceable.
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By Alex Elliot on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Personally, I like the idea of a spider for a pet because you can always find another one. We have two cats and a dog and my older son still wants more pets…ok I would love to also, but that’s not going to happen.
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By Queeny on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Spiders as pets? Brrrrrrrggggggblblbl! I’ll stick with my overactive puppy. He just eats my patio furniture.
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By pixie on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
Spiders are not pets, they are PESTS! Blech! I can’t even watch Charlotte’s Web.
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By Stephanie on Nov 6, 2007 | Reply
OH MY GOSH!!! That is so funny.
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By Jo Beaufoix on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Hee hee. Mr sleepy.
And yhe hot mama idea is fab. I’m doing nanowrimo at the minute so I’m, not getting about much but I’ll do it if I remember.
Aso, I have a reward for you my dear. As you are funny and fabulous.
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By Jen on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Awwww, poor CJ. Also, heh heh. Also, ack, spiders! Also, heh some more.
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By Taste Like Crazy on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
You’re also not getting him a pet because he might “wreck” it and that would be rather messy.
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By Melinda Zook on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Oh how funny. My son is totally into bugs right now and he has done this recently to a worm. I felt so sorry for him though because he didn’t honestly mean to kill it. He insisted though that it was still alive.
We only have a fish for now and I have to watch little man like a hawk to be sure he doesn’t poke the poor thing with the toothpick when he feeds it.
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By bellevelma on Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
ah yes, little boys and their extraordinary strength. My son got a hold of a baby bunny in our back yard once when he was about 3 yers old. Tiny girps of love and the poor bunny was a goner…
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By cate on Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
okay, as soon as i read “spider” i had to stop reading lest my arachnophobia send me into a downward spiraling panic attack!
i’m sure it was a great post as usual, though! ;-)
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