Jenny and the BEAST
October 23, 2007 – 1:02 amWe typically think of ourselves as a one-car family. Most days I take the car and Jay rides the bus, and we pat ourselves on the back for our low-carbon-emitting lifestyle. WE only drive one car. We tell people, a bit pompously. But hey! You’ve got to have something to be pompous about.
The thing is, it’s all a big lie.
We actually do have a second vehicle.
It’s just that we don’t think of it as a second car, because, well… it’s sort of an embarrassment.
See for yourself.
I call it The BEAST.
We bought it when we were doing major renovation work on the house, and even when the major renovations stopped, The BEAST somehow managed to stay around. I guess because it’s paid off, runs like a dream, and is awfully handy for those last minute “hey, let’s run to Ikea!” or “I know, let’s re-side our house!” moments.
Still, I try to minimize my time behind the wheel of The BEAST. It’s just so BIG. And DIRTY. And BEASTLY. Not that I’m opposed to big or dirty or beastly per-se, but it just doesn’t really fit in in the whole Seattle teeny-tiny-cars-are-cool scene.
So the last few weeks I’ve been doing the tour-circuit of our local private schools. Just in CASE the public schools aren’t good enough (but that’s a whole other story). The tours invariably begin 15 minutes before CJ’s preschool, which throws our morning routine all out of whack.
We finally came to this solution- Jay takes CJ to preschool in the car, and I drive The BEAST to the school tours.
Sounds good in theory, right?
Picture this: highly prestigious and expensive Seattle private school. The parking lot is filled with BMWs, Mercedes, and the occasional brand-new Prius from an eco-conscious teacher.
VROOOOMMM!! A cloud of blue smoke, and Jenny rumbles into the parking lot in THE BEAST.
The parents stop, the moms’ perfectly painted mouths fall open. A woman drops her Prada bag in astonishment.
Out climbs Jenny wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a raincoat. Because you don’t dress up for school tours, right?
WRONG.
I am the ONLY one in blue jeans OR tennis shoes. The next most casual parent is wearing stiletto-heeled boots.
And I do NOT fit in here.
But maybe this is the best test… the most insightful part of the tour.
Because, although I’m sure it must be great that the school that has a laptop for every child and a PE teacher imported from France, I want a school where CJ… and Jay and I… feel at home.
I think the best test of that is in The BEAST.
Show me a school where I can drive up in The BEAST wearing blue jeans and comfortable shoes, and am still greeted with a smile, and I’ll ask you where to sign.
Till then, I’ll keep looking.
***
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By pinks & blues girls on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Haha! Our second car is something I affectionately call the Big Blue Beast. It’s a hand-me-down from my grandma, who bought it used in 1991. My husband insists I keep my phone on me at all times so he can get a hold of me that day that the BBB finally decides to quit (which I have to admit, I though would have happened by now).
Jane, Pinks & Blues
By Alex Elliot on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
That sounds like the best test to me! For extra bonus points it could be who would be willing to be in a carpool with the beast. Last year I showed up to my son’s orientation in jeans and a v-neck t-shirt. Everyone else was all decked out.
By LikeAstaR on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Love it! At least you are REAL! so much of that other junk is pu ton anyway!
By Midwest Mommy on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
We just sold our beast!
I hate people like that. Good for you!
By Cathy on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
I have this … fondness … for pickups.
I drove a little Isuzu truck for 10 years.
I miss it.
As for the BEAST — I’d love to see it pulling into hoity-toity schools. Drive it with pride, I say. Prada is defenseless in its presence.
By Karen (Pediascribe) on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Ya might want to spit as you’re coming up the front sidewalk and have a can of chewin’ tobacco in your back pocket……just to complete the ensemble!
There is no way I’d EVER fit in with that snobby crowd. Ever. Which is fine with me.
By Chelsea on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
I drove a Beast in high school, but I called it the Urban Land Assault Vehicle.
By Sherry on Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
I like The Beast! As a matter of fact, we used to OWN a Beast too! It was a huge Suburban and rusty parts flew off of it if you drove it to fast on the freeway. lol
Sounds like a good test to me!
By carrie on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
You are completely right, “The Beast” is an excellent test.
And just so you don’t feel so alone, we have the beast’s sister parked right outside . . . it’s a black, 1988 Ford bronco and let me just tell you - I feel oh so feminine when I’ve had to drive it!
Vroom . . .
By Monique on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
That is a great test, something I’ll have to remember when it comes time for a school search of our own.
And, in response to the earlier post- good luck with all the to do’s. I’m having trouble with nanowrimo, I can’t get anything together, and with the pregnancy fatigue- I just don’t have the energy.
I hope I feel better by the time November rolls around, I have to say I’m intimidated by the Seattle region wanting 100% completion. *sighs*
By nell on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
I love it! And you are so right, who wants to end up at some school where all anyone cares about is what little CJ’s mom is wearing today and where you get your hair done? The BEAST is your friend.
By WorksForMom on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
That is probably the LAST vehicle in I ever imagined you in. I heart you even more!
Jenny, you so need to photoshop that beast. Pimp it up!
Rev that engine and relish the beast!
By Annie on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Yikes to the stilleto moms! Don’t they know they’re ruining their feet, and their backs?
You are brave for driving the beast though I have to say! My husband has a 1999 Ford Ranger and I hate driving it - It drives like a jalopy and it makes me feel like I should yell ‘Yee Haw’ or wear daisy dukes when I’m behind the wheel lol!
By Paige Jennifer on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
My sister just went on a tour of a prep school in Atlanta for her son. She drives a Benz (used), wears nice jewelry and spends a ridiculous amount of money on her hair. Even still, she felt out of place. Perhaps you can lend her the Beast?
By Amy on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
You are so right on! That’s a really important way to assess the achool. You’ll spend a lot of your life there for the next number of years. We did the same. The chi-chi school was great but we didn’t like the zip-code conscious designer-labeled parents. We went smaller and friendlier and got a fantastic academic program and surprise! cheaper tuition.
By Julie (aka calm mama) on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Love this story. I went to a private girls school in L.A. (yikes!) and there was definitely room for the Suburban drivers, but also a fair share of frightening Prada. Odd weird world, however I survived to move to the Bay Area where people have more sense, on average. It’s a personal internal struggle: (must-have-designer… nooooo!)
Good luck with your search!
By LindaJ on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Being comfortable is most important to me…But, then again I have had to overcome the school of the stepford moms….You would think in my neck of the woods jeans and tennis shoes would be the norm…um, yeah no…designer jeans and jimmy Choo around here. As for the beast…We had one of those BIG trucks for house projects…funny how I always ended up behind the wheel…
By An Iowa Mom on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
They may drive BMW’s and Mercedes, but they are more than likely miserable because they’re in debt up to they eyeballs.
You are who you are. A car, a brand name, or a “look” doesn’t change your heart and soul.
Being who you really are instead of trying to be someone you’re not to impress other people, is the best gift and lesson you can give your children.
Drive the beast with pride. It’s paid off and yours afterall.
By Heather on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
That truck reminds me of the same truck my grandfather used on his cattle farm in West Virgina, except his was green. What a monster! But, such a cool car for a 10-year-old to drive on a farm road.
Anything is better than the POS baby blue Honda Civic (circa 1981) my parents drove. Think belched black smoke when turned over and probably was the main contributer to global warming. Seriously.
By Nap Warden on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
The Beast…I love it! When I was in high school, I drove a car called The Crate…Good times! Good luck with the school search. You will know it when you find it!
By Carla on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Man I am so glad we are blogfriends! You keep it real, Jen!
By magnolia mama on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
The Seattle school situation….Eek. I’ll be right there with you in my jeans. Our first tour is 11/18. The whole process makes me think of sorority/fraternity rush for 4-year-olds.
By pixie on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
We lived on only one car in Californa for two years before moving to Oregon. Then we realized that Hubby can’t exactly bike in the rain everyday to get to work and still be his cheerful, lovable self. So he got the Explorer, and I got a new minivan: The Soccer Mom Make-over is now complete!
By cate on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
oh man…the way you described driving to the school with the cloud of blue smoke…that reminds me of every car my family had growing up! my dad can fix anything, so he always bought old fixer-uppers. not great for the ol’ highschool image!
i think that’s a great test for your schools! hope you find a good one soon!
By Stephanie on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
My first car was a beast, though not like THAT.
By Lela on Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Hahaha, I hate to break it to you honey, but the only place a beast like that fit in in our neck of the woods is at public school, lol.
By Nadine on Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
GREAT test! Feeling at home is way more important than a imported French teacher.
I am just glad Tim’s school to be is within 5 minutes walking distance!
By I Should Be Folding Laundry on Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
Have you considered moving to say Indiana?
By Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake on Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
A good beast is always great to have around!
Keep looking for that school.