For Local Blog
Halloween, now here’s a holiday I can DO.
October 18, 2007 – 7:00 amCJ is totally and completely into Halloween.
Every second of every day is filled with monsters and ghosts and DRACULA and Frankenstein. He’s obsessed, wide-eyed and open-mouthed in his excitement over the VERY SCARY and VERY THRILLING Halloween possibilities.
“Mommy, we should decorate our house for Halloween!” he tells me.
Um, I thought I did. I guess my four tasteful candle-holders just aren’t cutting it.
When I pick CJ up at preschool, I see why. Cobwebs! Batty banners! Huge paper jack-o-lanterns! Ghosts! Goblins! A bat cave made out of a refrigerator box!
So this afternoon I drive to Target to buy some more Halloween decorations. Plus the construction paper and art supplies to make our own.
We get home, and I find myself stretching fake cobwebs across windows and door frames. And I think, wow, Halloween is a holiday I can really get behind.
Here’s a holiday where the WHOLE POINT is to turn your house into a spooky, scary place full of cobwebs and dust that looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in YEARS!
I can DO that.
In fact, I should be a Halloween decor consultant!
I’ll turn your house into a nightmarish place of horror and uncleanliness that only ghosts dare to enter. Just give me 2 weeks. I use ALL ORGANIC products! No artificial decor! 100% REAL cobwebs and spiders!
I think I’ve found my calling.
And then there’s the dressing up.
“Mommy, what are YOU going to be for Halloween?” CJ keeps asking. After several lame attempts, I realize that I can’t evade the question any longer.
“Umm, I think I’m going to be a mommy.” I tell him.
“A mummy?”
“No, a MOMMY.”
“NOOOOO!!!” He howls in disgust. “NOT A MOMMY!”
“What do you think I should be?” I ask him.
“A witch!” he announces. “Or… Storm.”
(You know, Storm from X-Men… the one who’s played by Halle Berry. And no, CJ hasn’t actually SEEN the movie X-Men. But somehow he knows who Storm is.)
I tell a friend about this exchange and she says, “Well, Storm’s not bad. At least she’s hot.” Which is true.
So I’m just getting excited about being Storm for Halloween when CJ changes his mind.
“No, you’re going to be a WITCH.” He announces. And this is not up for debate.
I’m disappointed at first, until I realize, I can DO this. I can be a witch for Halloween. I can be a GREAT witch. And it doesn’t have to cost me a dime! In fact, I’ll SAVE time and money!
All I have to do is stop moisturizing (oooh the cracking, scaly skin!) and wearing foundation (OH MY the pimples, zits and blemishes!), leave my hair for a few days without showering or brushing so that it goes au-natural (AYEE the split ends, oil and grime!)… and VOILA! I’ll be the scariest witch this side of Wisteria Lane!
BOO!
Scared ya, didn’t I?
Random Posts
By Deb - Mom of 3 Girls on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
LOL, I love this - too bad Halloween’s only once a year! :)
[Reply to this comment]
By Mert on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
That’s a great idea! Can I be your cat hair/ cobweb subcontracting consultant?
[Reply to this comment]
By Maureen on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Yikes! Sorry…you really scared me for a moment there. Actually, it’s a great idea; I could do that costume right now.
Our house is decorated, pumpkins (fake ones, of course) are out, and candy is bought…and I don’t have to dust until November!!! Whoo Hoo!
We love Halloween too; in fact I just posted about a Halloween my daughter will never forget from years ago.
[Reply to this comment]
By Carla on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
OR you could photoshop of course.
[Reply to this comment]
By Queen of Shake-Shake on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I love to dress us for Halloween myself. But sadly I never do. I’ll never justify the expense of a third, more expensive costume for myself.
Because it makes sense to miss out on having FUN.
Gesh, I’m stupid.
I think I’ll be a witch too! Though I’ve always wanted one of those poodle skirts.
[Reply to this comment]
By Chris on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
LOL!
I know I could pull it off!
[Reply to this comment]
By pinks & blues girls on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Unfortunately, I have put off Halloween decorating too long now, so my house looks very unfestive. And now I just don’t feel like putting in the effort for a few weeks. Maybe I’ll fly you to the east coast next year to decorate my house at the beginning of October! :)
Jane, Pinks & Blues
[Reply to this comment]
By slackermommy on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I’m usually a devil but I think I need to change things up a bit. I could do a witch and my kids would agree.
[Reply to this comment]
By SAHMmy Says on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I have friends who actually invite spiders to take over their home starting October 1 so they can have authentic Halloween decorations. I was sitting on the toilet during their Halloween party one year and looked up (why?) to see a huge Daddy Long Legs dangling inches above my head. Haven’t peed in their house since.
[Reply to this comment]
By Eve on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
NO! DON’T Stop the MOISTURIZER!
[Reply to this comment]
By carrie on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Oh, I like your Halloween post so much better than mine.
Thank you for making me laugh!
[Reply to this comment]
By Lela on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I’m glad my kids are okay with me being Mommy for Halloween, lol. And you can thank his friends for knowing who Storm is. My boys don’t watch Pokemon, but they are friggin experts on it!
[Reply to this comment]
By Lisa on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I saw you just a few months ago. Your hair and skin? So very pretty. Sorry lady but I’m just not buying the “go without products equal scarey” thing. :-)
[Reply to this comment]
By cate on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
i guess i’m ready for Halloween already (and pretty much year round!), since my house IS a nightmarish place of horror and uncleanliness that only ghosts dare to enter…well, and a few brave family members! ;-)
[Reply to this comment]
By Shauna Loves Chocolate on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Ha ha ha!
It’s sweet he wants you to dress up. In just a couple of Halloweens, he won’t even want to be seen with you. I say BE STORM!!
[Reply to this comment]
By LikeAstaR on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
haha! Hallowwen IS the best! This year I did my first decorating for the holiday.. but I am sure I will ahve to rethink my “tasteful” pumpkins in place of spooky things when my son is a bit older…
[Reply to this comment]
By No Cool Story on Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
HAHA!
Shauna Loves Chocolate made me go
:( so true. Oh well :)
[Reply to this comment]
By Nadine on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Hahaha! “A mummy?” LOL!
I totally want to see pictures of you costumes!
[Reply to this comment]
By Tuesday Girl on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
My kids are really into decorating our house too. I have to admit, I like it also.
[Reply to this comment]
By Avery Gray on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Up until last year, I’d go all out decorating for Halloween. I’m just not feeling it this year. Maybe I should have you come decorate my house, too. There’s plenty to work with!
[Reply to this comment]
By Joanne on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Absolutely hilarious post. Go for being the wicked witch of the west, complete with green face paint in lieu of moisturizer! ;)
[Reply to this comment]
By Sarah on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
All you have to do at my house is turn off the lights, and you’ve got a haunted maze. You never know what you’ll bump into. Thanks for the laugh…
[Reply to this comment]
By crunchycarpets on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
My house is spookified and there are boxes of stuff that dh has waiting for the outside too.
It is huge here too and I am supposed to be a witch too!!!
[Reply to this comment]
By Worker Mommy on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Oooh that’s an SMB event in the making… A Halloween costume contest…or who can make the most skeevey looking witch.
I’d be some tough competion there for you , girl.
Do you think we could get Cuervo to sponsor that one ?
[Reply to this comment]
By Day Dreamer on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
LOL…Yes, scared!
My son wanted a costume that actually BLEEDS…ew…of course, he’s eight.
You can use my rent house as a demo…. :)
[Reply to this comment]
By Mary Alice on Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
You made me laugh!
[Reply to this comment]
By itsjustme on Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Yep, gone are the days of the “sexy nurse” or “sexy cop” costumes…now we get to be witches. My how time flies!
[Reply to this comment]