The Absolutely Bananas Plan for Fitness, Health, and all-around beautification

Most days when I walk down the street, sashaying in my tight blue jeans and tube top, people stop me and ask,

HOW do you keep that girlish figure?

Well, finally someone asked in just the right way (with promise of FREE STUFF) and so I am ready to divulge my secrets. Hunker down, lean in close, and read quickly. This message WILL (probably) self-destruct in 30 seconds.

Introducing…

The Absolutely Bananas Plan for Fitness, Health, and all-around beautification
You too can look like Cindy Crawford! It’s not genetic… all you need is THE PLAN!

THE FINE PRINT: Consult your doctor before embarking on any workout scheme. Absolutely Bananas will not be liable if you put out your back, stub your toe, or find yourself in a fit of rage brought on by this workout plan. Following this plan may result in mental trauma leading to excess consumption of jelly donuts, Ho Hos, or Oreo cookies, which MAY result in weight gain, a new innertube round your waist, an extra chin or two, and the need for elastic-waist pants. Oh and, it actually IS genetic.

To begin, you’ll need a rather heavy child. I typically work with a 50-pounder, but any child in the 30-70 pound range will do.

Come on now!

LIFT 2, 3, 4
and SWING 2, 3, 4
and CHASE ‘EM ROUND THE ROOM 2, 3, 4
Now DODGE THAT FLYING LAMP 2, 3, 4

Feel that burn!!

JUMP TO CATCH THE DISH 2, 3, 4
and another CHASE ‘EM ROUND THE ROOM 2, 3, 4
Now BEND 2, 3, 4
PICK UP THE TINY LEGO’S 2, 3, 4

Ow! That’s right! WORK IT… WORK IT…

YANK ‘EM FROM THE CAR 2, 3, 4
Now HAUL THE CAR SEAT 2, 3, 4
and CHASE ‘EM ROUND THE ROOM 2, 3, 4
and LIFT 2, 3, 4

That’s right! Lookin’ good!

And repeat. Do approximately 5,000 reps each day.

And if that doesn’t work? Try my OTHER plan. You know, the fail-safe EASY way… with PHOTOSHOP.

Class dismissed.

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This is an entry into a contest hosted by Parent Bloggers Network and Ryka for some FREE SHOES! Go ahead and enter, but make sure you get your post up by end-of-day today!

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xo Jen

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