Someone somewhere once upon a time told me that the good thing about BOYS is that they’re not picky about what they wear like GIRLS.
Well, I’m here to tell you that someone somewhere once upon a time LIED.
I think I have the world’s pickiest child.
Just this weekend, we were strolling through the Gap. I would pick up an item and hold it up for CJ to look at.
“Look at this shirt!” I’d tell him, “Isn’t it COOL?”
Barely deigning to give it the courtesy of a glance, CJ would shake his head emphatically. “No. I don’t like it.”
And there is no swaying him. Believe me, I’ve tried. And in OTHER walks of life I’ve been known to be fairly convincing. But my powers of persuasion are useless against such vehement passion.
The latest manifestation of this problem is that CJ desperately needs new shoes.
So far we’ve tried on 30,000 pairs at 500 different stores. And we haven’t found a single pair that passes the excruciating CJ review.
I threw away the hideously ugly tennies that he’s worn all summer — they had holes in the soles and that’s my limit. But the way things are going, I may have to fashion him foot protection out of garbage bags.
Here’s a little taste of what shoe shopping with CJ is like.
“Hey CJ! What do you think about these? These look comfortable.”
“NO! I DON’T LIKE WHITE SHOES!”
“Ok, here’s a pair in black. These are cool, right?”
“NO! I don’t like them!”
“Ooh… look at these ones. These are awesome!” (who doesn’t like Dolce & Gabbana?)
(CJ tries them on) “Erm, no. They feel funny.”
Moving on to the European section…
“How about these ones? These ones have GREEN. That’s your favorite color, right?”
“NO! I don’t like them!”
(heavy sigh from me)
“These?”
“NO!”
“CJ? What do you want? Can you tell me what kind of shoes you like?”
(thinks for a minute)
“I want black shoes. With flames.”
(I scan the shelves.)
“Aha!”
“Here, CJ… black ones with FLAMES! Aren’t they COOL?”
“No.”
“Can’t you just try them on?”
“No.”
(scans store again)
“AHA!”
“How about these ones? These are cool, right?”
“Mmmmm…. yeah, I like these.”
(I leap into the air with excitement)
The saleslady comes over to see what all the commotion is about. I can see the disdain in her eyes, Ahem, this is a high-end footwear store… who is this woman leaping and shrieking?
But I don’t care. Glory be, we’ve found the shoes at last!
But then… horror of horrors, THEY DON’T HAVE HIS SIZE. What did I ever do to deserve this?
Not one to let a little obstacle like this stand in my way, I head for home where I promptly hop onto the Internet to order the magical shoes.
But my bad luck holds, and I learn that they are back-ordered for months.
I order them anyway.
So you’re probably wondering what we’ll be doing until they arrive? So was I. Fortunately, I have this whole creative side…
Oh YEAH. I think CJ might start a new trend.
***
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xo Jen
September 10, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Wow. Good luck!
September 10, 2007 at 5:34 pm
What is it with not wanting white sneakers? My 9 year old son wouldn’t hear of it! Brown suede ones with the laces tied behind the tongue and tucked in. Oh Boy!
September 10, 2007 at 5:43 pm
The quest for sneakers – this year it was: Sketcher’s Aerators. Whoever the marketing genius was that came up with this concept, well, they deserve a bonus. Hook, line and sinker, we bought the suckers. But for $35, I can’t complain, because he’s worn them everyday to school.
PS/my hubby tells me Sketchers are very popular over in Iraq also…go figure?!?!?
September 10, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Im just thanking god we didnt have to buy HEELYS!! I dont take them to get the shoes, I buy them myself so there is no arguement!
September 10, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Well, in all fairness, they are VERY cool shoes! Hopefully he won’t outgrow them before they get shipped.
My daughter isn’t picky about shoes at all. As long as they’re pink, she doesn’t care!
September 10, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Those indeed are cool shoes. To be fair, the kid’s got taste and sounds pretty stylin’.
Have you tried the reverse psychology yet? As in, “I don’t like these at all – do you”? Perhaps it’s worth a shot…
September 10, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I hear ya. Once S.B. turned four, I stopped buying any clothing without first consulting him. Even when I follow the rules (nothing with dinos on it, no Spiderman stuff, no sports, no jeans, only elastic waist pants, only crew socks from The Gap nowhere else), he won’t wear it without a hassle unless he’s had a say in picking it out. And G-d knows the last thing I need in the morning is one more thing to argue about.
September 10, 2007 at 7:43 pm
My boys better not turn out to be picky with clothes…they’re going to take what I give them, and they’re gonna like it!
Like it’s that easy!
Love the bag shoes…do they come with non-skid stuff on the bottom? If so, I’ll take two pairs!
September 10, 2007 at 7:55 pm
SO totally awesome. And you are right… who doesn’t like Dolce and Gabana?
September 11, 2007 at 4:23 am
Oh, those are great! Maybe they have them in my size…although I prefern the tan plastic over the white. Goes with more of my outfits :-)
September 11, 2007 at 4:31 am
My son is the exact same way! He wants to wear only Halo clothes or tee shirts dripping with sarcasm. For pants, they need to have the knees ripped open. I cave and let him wear it. He’s a straight-A student, so being a little different is ok, I think. Of course, the other parents hate me because I let him wear that stuff. SIGH! Can’t please everyone, so I go with the one who lives here and can make life miserable.
September 11, 2007 at 5:03 am
I agree. My son (17) is now and always has been pickier about shoes than his sisters (15 and 13)
I don’t get it!
September 11, 2007 at 5:55 am
Yep, boys are picky too…all about control.
My son went an entire year wearing only sweatpants. No lie.
Good luck with the shoes!
September 11, 2007 at 6:42 am
Children are left at home while mommy shops for clothes. hee hee We cannot afford much so they have no choice but to wear what I give them. My 10 year old boy throws on whatever. For now.
September 11, 2007 at 7:26 am
Heehee! I must say that though he is picky, he has very good taste in tennies. ;) I hope he still likes them when they arrive, this is the problem I face with my 6 year old. She likes something and then when it arrives ( not always) she says “oh”.
September 11, 2007 at 8:21 am
I’ll challenge you for that World’s Pickiest Child title. My 4-year-old is just like your CJ. I mean, exactly as you describe. In fact, our school shoe-shopping excursion was almost identical to your experience. And now, he prefers his old school clothes to the new ones HE helped pick out.
Same with my daughter (6). I let her take the lead in picking out her school attire, but after wearing her favorites a couple of times, she’s started donning last year’s fashions. WE still have four new outfits she refuses to touch. Dang kids.
September 11, 2007 at 9:06 am
Your son is the same as my daughter. Thousands of pairs of shoes later and she still hasn’t found one that she likes. It’s either the color, or the style, or how it ties, or it doesn’t feel right, ARGH!
Thank God for Crocs. She lived in those this summer. I’m thinking they won’t do well in the ice and snow though! :)
September 11, 2007 at 9:42 am
LOL!!!!
I can’t believe we have to pay over $100 for runners (“sneakers” for my US friends) nowadays. Heck, I remember I could get a great pair of Addidas for under $20 ….
and they would last for more than 1 school year.
September 11, 2007 at 10:06 am
Oh goodness how I fear this. My son is already a picky, tempermental, rotten little being. And shoes are NOT an easy task around here. Imagining a time when he gets a choice? Makes my brain explode.
You are patient (and so crafty! Safeway bags are so ultra hip!)
September 11, 2007 at 10:06 am
My son is way more picky than my girls. It wasn’t until this summer I finally got him to wear shorts. He would wear pants in 100 degree weather!
September 11, 2007 at 10:55 am
One of these days I think I am going to keel over from having to deal with these overly picky children of mine. I definitely feel your pain!
September 11, 2007 at 11:47 am
I have one, he is 6.. and thanks to his 14 year old sibling he has blatantly refused to wear certain things that were once acceptable.. Thank you Steph!
It is insane, My mother pulled me aside the other day and let me know that Steph and I have made genius boy waaayyy to self conscious in regard to his attire.. Really Mother? I had no idea, next time, he’ll go naked-see how he likes them apples!
September 11, 2007 at 12:40 pm
of course they didn’t have his size…buying shoes with kids sucks hairy donkey balls. i know, i just went through it with my picky picky first grader!
September 11, 2007 at 2:32 pm
You are hysterical! I could just see the whole scene! Now when I was a kid, we had one sneaker… 3 colors. Red. Blue. White.
It’s not that kids today are picky as much as the marketing gurus live in their heads! Now is that progress!!??
Thanks for the laughs…
Sharon – Pinks & Blues Girls
September 11, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Oh my goodness, YES!!! I have 4 boys, and they ARE picky! But one of my dds is more picky. However, two of my boys are more picky than the other 2 dds and the other 2 ds’s. (I have 7 kids, did I confuse you? LOL)
I hate shopping with the boys, or the oldest dd.
And I had 2 brothers that were WAY pickier than any of us girls. They wouldn’t even be SEEN in K-mart because, GAH, Somebody might SEE them in there! That means they shop there too, moron! haha
September 11, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Ha, love this!
My son has the vans with flames. It was the first time he actually picked out his own shoe. Previously he could have cared less. Aah it was a proud moment ;)
September 11, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Some boys are especially finicky – I have one of them too.
I’ll have to remember the plastic bags the next time he gives me any guff about wearing shoes with shoelaces! Oh, the horror of it all!
September 11, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Just discovered your blog! Love it! I’m glad my yard apes are still young enough that I buy the clothes and have a say about the haircuts. I’m sure that will change all too soon! I have to admit that if those flame sneakers came in women’s size 7 1/2, I’d have to buy a pair for myself!
Heather (aka Coal Miner’s Granddaughter)
September 11, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Hilarious!!
September 11, 2007 at 8:35 pm
You know, I wore newspaper bags on my feet after I had bunion surgery (to protect them from the elements) Neon yellow plastic? Very snazzy.
Equally attractive were the clog things I had to wear over my bandaged feet. Hubs drew flames on those and nicknamed me “Flash.”
So actually, I totally get your idea here.
Um. How long is the wait exactly?
September 12, 2007 at 8:42 am
This is my son, too. We call him the “slow to warm up” boy. His deal is he doesn’t like anything new…nada. So when he outgrows his old clothes, he wants new clothes….just like his old ones. Getting him to wear anything that he hasn’t worn for at least five months is painful and drives me, well, bananas. This, too, shall, pass….this, too, shall pass, this, too, shall pass…
September 13, 2007 at 3:00 am
Hahahaha! Aw, you poor thing! He did pick the COOLEST sneakers in the shop.
September 13, 2007 at 11:58 am
LOL.
They look fabulous dwahling.
They’ll be on the catwalks in no time.
September 13, 2007 at 3:19 pm
I feel you! We finally found shoes that fit my son’s criteria: laces, no ties (yes, both), no strings (different than ties–he means tiny strings daring to peep out from the seams)and mine: he can put them on by himself and they cost less than thirty bucks. Now he’s mad because I won’t let him wear them to play outside. Going back to buy a second pair; shoulda thought of that in the first place!
September 16, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Wow when I was young, we looked for the cheapest shoes and I got to pick out of two or three styles and that was it!
September 17, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Hilarious!!! What size do those baggy shoes come in? May have to order some for the picky child that lives in my house.