The booger wall
September 6, 2007 – 3:49 amThe other evening I was lying with CJ in his bed, having just finished reading the third and final bedtime story, when my eyes focused on the wall beside us.
The white wainscoting was dotted with a varied assortment of streaky, juicy, dried-up, greenish, brown, some large and others small boogers.
Yep, you heard me right. My house has a booger wall. A wall o’ boogers. Boogidy boogery wall. No matter how you say it, it still sounds bad.
Rejoice that the booger wall does not reside in YOUR clean home.
I will claim it.
Because for me, the booger wall brings less feelings of disgust and more of nostalgia.
I watch CJ, comfortably reclining on his pillow, finger firmly lodged up a nostril. He pulls out a booger and instinctively wipes it on the wall. It’s second-nature… a sort of primal ritual… soothing, comforting, spanning the space between wakefulness and sleep.
As I watch him, time blurs and I am young again, lying in my childhood bed. The room is dark with only the silvery light from the moon shining through my window. I am sleepy, my eyes drifting between open and shut. My finger finds its way up my nose where its slowly works… twisting, scratching, prodding in an odd act of comfort and cleansing.
With a strange satisfaction I pull my finger from my nose and run it along the wall beside my bed, depositing the slimy contents against the flowered wallpaper.
I roll over, scrunch up the pillow, and drift off to sleep.
I know it’s a bizarre and gross confession, but the fact is that I had a booger wall. And now CJ has a booger wall.
And this booger wall that resides in my house just down the hall from my bedroom and right beside the head of my darling son… well, it doesn’t bother me as much as you might expect.
I find it oddly comforting. A link between CJ and I. Irrefutable proof that he is mine and we are from the same mold…
…even if that mold is rather slimey.
***
A big, huge, ENORMOUS thank you to Brillig for awarding me the Perfect Post award for this post- Get Out of My Yard! This is my FIRST PPA and I am humbled, grateful, and wildly excited!
***
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By magnolia mama on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
My son has a booger bed.
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By JaniceNW on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
Wait until he’s old and gross enough to blow snot all over the shower walls. It’s the joys of raising teen boys.
Congrats on the award! You earned it!
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By :: Suzanne :: on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
EEEEWWWWWWwwwwww
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By Anonymous on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
i too had one as a kid. it was a pain cleaning it though when we were selling the house.
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By tulipmom on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
I love it!
I had a “Fuck You” wall in my closet. My parents found it when they were putting our house up for sale my sophomore year of college.
Who better to buy the house than a Rabbi’s family?!
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By Mamma on Sep 5, 2007 | Reply
My son has a booger ceiling. And of course we have the booger wall next to the boys’ toilet.
Ugh! I’m throwing up a little in my mouth, but I still think your connection with CJ is cute.
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By Jo Beaufoix on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Ahhhhh and Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Cute, yet, gross.
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By Shannon on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
So, do you just, like, LEAVE it there? Ewww. I discovered a booger depository on the inside of the car door on my son’s side and got completely grossed out. Now we keep tissues in the back seat.
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By Mama Zen on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
I don’t think that we have a booger wall. Perhaps, I just haven’t found it yet . . .
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By Annie on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
I love it lol!
At least he doesn’t eat it!!!
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By temporarily me (sam) on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
As much as that just made my stomach turn, I find it oddly comforting that he has a designated spot for his boogers and your not randomly coming upon them in your living room, kitchen, toys, dishes…. *gag*
And JaniceNW!!!!!! EWWWW!
(My husband still does that. That’s why I refuse to clean the shower, that’s hiss job now!)
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By Just Beachy on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Just welcoming myself to your booger, um, I mean blog…. I, um, enjoyed…no, that’s not the right word…I mean, grossly, yucky and all, my son has a booger stomach. Icky. He is not shy about it either.
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By Lisa on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
oh boy.
(adding “search for booger wall” to list of gross things moms have to do.)
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By miserablebliss on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
My husband and I were just talking about this very subject wrt our respective childhoods!
We *both* had “booger headboards” - we wiped our boogers behind the headboard at night!
Totally out of view and very hard to find until someone moves the bed and gets a handfull of.. crunchy old boogers.
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By Midwest Mommy on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Oh my gosh! Too funny. At least it was at home. When I was a teacher I would find spots in my classroom where deposits were made! The Booger Bandit strikes again!
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By PJ on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Ah yes, my booger wall, I remember it fondly. I actually blamed my booger wall on my sister. She is still scarred by that.
My little one is too young for a booger wall just yet, but it does make me wonder if he’ll have one. My husband had one too.
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By Jen on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Oh my god. Why didn’t you just eat your boogers like a normal kid? I feel woozy.
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By Miss Huckleberry on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
This is so disgusting!! Although to be perfectly honest I had a booger table when I was young. The underside of our coffee table in the family room, to be exact.
On occasion I find an impromptu booger wall in the shower from Mr. Huckleberry. Nowadays it makes me dry heave instantly- even just thinking about it.
Boogers from a nose other than my own scare me.
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By Summer on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
GROSS!!!
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By Mert on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
My kids view boogs as a delicacy… they would never waste them on a wall. ;)
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By Cathy on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Congrats on the award!
I’ve seen no evidence of a booger wall yet, but …
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By Rachel on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Hmmm, I didn’t have a booger wall.
Luckily, neither do my kids.
I don’t think.
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By Carla on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
How can you take something so gross and turn it into such a sweet little post about your CJ connection?! I love it.
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By Not the Queen on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Ugh! Gag! I have girls, so we don’t have a booger wall, but your post did remind me of another booger incident that still haunts me to this day. Check it out: http://notthequeen.blogspot.com/
2007/09/ultimate-booger-grossout.html
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By Brillig on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Oh. Mygosh. no. Just…. no. Ick. Yuck. I do not want to know about these secret walls.
Does three boys equal three booger walls? No… no, please. If they must have a booger wall, can they share it. Oh, ick. Yuck. Ick. And did I mention “ick”?
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By Amy on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
This is HILARIOUS! Nasty, but hilarious.
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By M on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Oh my. Somehow this reminded me that I had a booger shelf above my bed. I had completely forgotten. And as a mother now? I am horrified and immediately writing my husband to inform him that should a booger wall appear in this house? it’s HIS responsibility.
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By carrie on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Boogers aren’t just for boys.
I can soooo relate to this post, in many gross ways!
Thanks for having the guts to admit it Jenny!
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By slackermommy on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
The first time I found boogers on the wall from my kids I also felt a sense of nostalgia. Isn’t nose picking and booger wiping a rite of passage?
Funny stuff, girl! Congrats on the award.
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By Liz on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Ah, that ain’t nothing…we’ve got boggered walls, tiles and…um…am I dangerously veering into TMI territory?!?
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By Nap Warden on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Really cute, and really gross at the same time! Congrats!
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By hamiam on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
LOL…my brothers had a double decker booger wall (bunk beds).
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By pixie on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
OMG I actually gagged when I read this. But I have to confess, it’s nice to hear because Volcano, too, has a booger wall. It MUST be a boy thing.
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By Kimberly on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
I used my headboard. Really freaked out my parents when we moved and they had to disassemble the thing. I still remember the expression on my mum’s face…
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By WhatWorksForMom on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
hmmph. wow. gross. i so don’t look forward to this someday.
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By www.nolanotes.com on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
NOW see what searches this post will bring to your sight!!!
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By Mrs. Schmitty on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
My son has the booger wall too. He tries to hide it low…even with the boxspring. I found it when I moved his bed around. So is the life with boys!
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By mommyzing on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
The timing of this post couldn’t be any better. Tonight in our car, my 21 month old daugther shouted out that she had a booger. My husband tells her to pick it out of her nose and to wipe it on the seat! I looked at him like he was crazy!
Maybe he had a booger wall too as a child? Must be? He is a shower nose blower. I think he is grooming my daughter to be a booger wall artist! Oh no!!
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By Jen M. on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Snort! My oldest daughter does, too.
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By An Ordinary Mom on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
This brings back memories of my brother’s gross booger wall.
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By shauna on Sep 6, 2007 | Reply
Ahhh. It’s so nice to find those delicate connections that bind us to our slimy children…
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By Shawn on Sep 7, 2007 | Reply
OK, this is a very funny post. Love this confession!
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By ReesePie on Sep 7, 2007 | Reply
HA! I had a booger wall too.
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By Queen of Shake-Shake on Sep 7, 2007 | Reply
I admit, that is a gross confession. But I get what you’re saying ya-ya!
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By VAIL on Sep 7, 2007 | Reply
OH yeah, glad to see my son’s not the only one, who has a wall he displays his boogers on!
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By JIll on Sep 7, 2007 | Reply
This is a fantastic post. One of my favorites as of late. i just love that someone would find a bit of joy in a booger wall. You’re my kind of people :)
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By Cate on Sep 8, 2007 | Reply
I don’t think the booger wall is gross…I think it’s so cute! Wait..does that make me weird???
Congrats on the award…I loved that post! Well deserved!
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By Shauna Loves Chocolate on Sep 11, 2007 | Reply
Congrats! Well deserved! Hilarioius!
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