Sometimes it’s hard to be four

Tonight, like every other night, I went into CJ’s room to kiss him goodnight.

He was lying on his side facing the wall. I reached my arm around to squeeze him and he said softly, “Mom? I don’t want to be me.”

“What? You don’t want to be you?”

“No. I don’t want to be me.”

I leaned down to kiss his cheek. It was damp. He was crying? Because he didn’t want to be him?

I felt my heart break a little bit.

“Oh CJ,” I said. “Why don’t you want to be you?”

He was quiet. And then he said, “I just want to be human.

I couldn’t help it. I know I shouldn’t but I laughed… just a little.

“Oh honey, you ARE human.” I said, relieved to be able to put his mind at ease. “People are humans.”

“No they’re not.” he said with conviction.

“What do you think humans are?”

“Humans are bad guys.” he said.

And once again, I found myself speechless.

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19 Comments

  1. Now its my turn to be speechless!!!find that comic book or cartoon show or movie or something he might have read or watched.

  2. So the good guy is Captain Environment? An elephant? Who are the good guys and why is he so worried? 4 year old can be very complex.

  3. Poor little guy. I hope he’s feeling a more happy today!

  4. I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry. It’s funny and heart breaking at the same time! I hope you can convince him that not ALL humans are bad guys.

  5. Oh gosh!

    What’s going on with him?

    That’s a mighty big declaration to make, you know?

    I hope it was just one of those fluke observations and not something that he’s really worried about.

  6. My almost 3-y.o. daughter recently told me that boys aren’t people, only girls are people. Boys, she says, are pirates!

    I hope your little boy (or pirate, depending on the POV) is feeling better about being him today!

  7. awwwww :(

    4 year olds are really complex, aren’t they?! Mine is the same. Is he also the eldest? I think that eldest kids worry a lot about everything!

  8. You know, he sounds much like my Unruly. At the tender age of 6 she is already an environmental activist. When she sees trash on the side of the road or a bus spewing black smoke into the atmosphere, she gets really, really upset and starts in on humans being bad and mean to Mother Nature.

    I’m just waiting for her to ask permission to join Green Peace.

  9. Awww, poor guy.

  10. It is so startling when they realize how the world works, and reveal profundities like this little gem.

  11. The bad guys are always cooler!

  12. Bless his little heart! I hope he’s happy to be him today!

  13. Aw, such intensity for such a little man. I hope he soon realizes that not all humans are bad guys.

  14. Wow, whats leading him to that conclusion ?
    Did he see or overhear someone say that ?
    Sure some humans are “bad guys” but I’d hope the majority of us are good.
    How sad, that its making him sad.
    I wanna just reach out and hug him!!!

  15. Huh?? Has he been watching “Over the Hedge”?? That’s the only thing I could come up with!

  16. Awww, hope he’s feeling better about being him today!
    Jen

  17. Wow! I too was wondering what show or movie might have prompted this comment.

    Sometimes it’s so hard not to laugh at the serious stuff they say.

  18. Awesome! Leave it to CJ to be disappointed that he’s only a person and not a human i.e. bad guy. You were right – he and Freya must have a mysterious connection.

  19. Ahh, kids are amazing aren’t they?
    Hope he feels better about being CJ now.

    He’s a little thinker isn’t he.