This spring, like every spring before, the rains came, followed by the sun, and our grass began to grow.
One bright and sunny Saturday morning, Jay decided that the time had come to mow the lawn. He went into the side yard to pull the lawnmower out of hibernation. Hum dee hum dee hum... He dusted off the few stray leaves and cobweb that had been woven between the handle and base. The birds were chirping and a squirrel ran across the top of the fence. He looked around for the leaf collector bag. Aha! There it is. He picked it up and thought, Hmm, it’s heavy. Must have lots of wet grass still in there. And he turned it upside down to empty it.
THUD! out rolled a BIG FAT POSSUM along with a smattering of dried-up leaves and grass. And my dear husband nearly had a heart attack. This was NOT what he had expected.
The possum sat at his feet, blinking. This wasn’t what he’d expected either. I like to imagine him thinking to himself, hmmph, so that’s it then… hibernation is over, before he slowly stood up and wandered off.
I think we all have moments like these… The “ACK! There’s a possum in my bag!” moments.
Moments where you’re sleepily going about your mundane business when out of nowhere a naked-tailed, red-eyed, unfortunately large RODENT shows up to scare your pants off.
Great! you think (after you stop hyperventilating), now WHAT am I supposed to do about this possum?
***
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xo Jen
August 25, 2007 at 3:27 pm
At least it wasn’t a great hulking purple singing dinosaur.
Now that would have been scary.
To be honest I’m not actually sure what a possum looks like, though I have images of wombats, beavers and raccoons in my head.
I’ll have to google one.
hope your hubby has recovered from the shock.
August 25, 2007 at 3:40 pm
See, here down in the South, we’da done cooked that possum up in a stew.
August 25, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Possums are uuugly! We don’t have them in my part of the state, but we do have plenty of skunks. We had one wander through our backyard a week ago, so now every time I let the cats in I wonder if I’m about to let in a skunk…
August 25, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I didn’t know you had possums there! Ew.
August 25, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Try one dead possum and two dead baby possums.
In the garage.
In the dead of summer.
The biggest fight I ever had with slacker ex-boyfriend was over who had to remove the carcasses.
August 25, 2007 at 5:48 pm
LOL! I hit a possum with my car once. I was so upset. Stupid thing came right out in the middle of the road at night and BAM!
August 25, 2007 at 7:03 pm
ok, i am icked out by the crickets forget a possum
August 25, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Oh. My. Word.
August 25, 2007 at 8:24 pm
I think I would have died! I freaked out when I found a frog on my back step what would I have done if I found a possum hiding somewhere!
August 25, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Freaky!
August 25, 2007 at 10:53 pm
The past two years we have hosted a raccoon family. They love when the pie cherries are ripe. They do me a great favor by eating them all so I don’t have to step on the cherries and then get it all over my carpet.
We also have many possums here. There’s many more critters than one think here in Western WA.
At least we don’t have any black widows like an unfortunate woman who shall remain nameless. ;)
Jenny~did he have to go get his heart checked out after that?
August 26, 2007 at 12:08 am
“I think we all have moments like these… The “ACK! There’s a possum in my bag!” moments.”
Ummm… why… no. I can quite honestly say that I have never EVER had one of those moments.
Hilarious, by the way. I’m so glad that these things happen to you, so that you can write them and entertain us, your adoring fans.
August 26, 2007 at 3:20 am
Maybe I should send you some of the $5mill to buy some new leaf bags LOL
Thanks for visiting!
August 26, 2007 at 10:27 am
Ohh, great story. That sounds like something that would happen here.
August 26, 2007 at 10:43 am
I am glad that it was at least alive and not some dead, stinkin mess.
August 26, 2007 at 11:03 am
Picture it. Christmas 2005. I went to the attic to get my tree decorations and lifted a box to find the friendly neighborhood bat. To add insult to injury, I managed to step on it…really.
August 26, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I would have peed my pants. No question.
I hate possums.
August 26, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Last night I was out with my girlfriends, we saw a mouse and screamed. I am I proud? No. Really I thought it was kind of cute but screaming at a bar in public is fun and something I don’t get to do too much, so when the opportunity arose…
August 26, 2007 at 4:13 pm
My literal possum moment was a few summers ago when I was talking on the phone sitting outside. I heard a noise in the bushes and out came two baby possums. That’s not nearly as funny as your story though!
August 26, 2007 at 4:14 pm
wow…what a great metaphor. A possum moment. Fabulously philosophical.
August 26, 2007 at 5:50 pm
oh my god!
August 26, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Stew anyone?
Just kidding. I really don’t think I could eat a possum. Ew.
August 27, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Possums are mean mean creatures…and they hiss! I have to say that was hilarious, although if that would have happened to me…I would have been scared to death!
August 28, 2007 at 10:38 am
See, that would be my excuse to never mow the lawn. Ever.