A tinted shade of vanity
July 25, 2007 – 4:35 pmThings are going great,
and they’re only getting better
I’m doing all right,
getting good grades
The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades…
Back in the 1980s when fashion reached an all-time low and people hummed along to groups like Timbuk 3 and Debbie Gibson, MY fashionista mom had a rockin’ pair of ultra tinted glasses.
Do you remember tinted glasses?
Tinted glasses were the BOMB. And mom’s were oh-so tinted. Pink on the top morphing into blue on the bottom. Where these shades met in the middle you got… YOU GUESSED IT… purple! (OOOOH). As a young and impressionable girl, I thought there was nothing cooler.
As I grew older and mom grew less cool (at least in my opinion), tinting fell out of style and mom found a new (smaller) pair of spectacles.
Fast forward to 2007. The 80’s are coming back. As evidence I give you:
Exhibit A: the return of the skinny jeans (moan)
Exhibit B: the return of the tube top (groan)
Exhibit C: the return of magenta, fuchsia, and NEON GREEN (vomit)
Does this mean tinted glasses are going to come back in too?
This question is very important to me for reasons that I am about to divulge.
I went to the optician a few weeks back with a mission; to get me some sunglasses. Lately I’ve had problems wearing my contacts, and since my only sunglasses are non-prescription, this has me wearing the old squint-eye for sun protection. Not so cute, and a sure way to create infinite amounts of wrinkles in a short period of time.
So I had this great idea. I’d get prescription sunglasses. The only problem with this grand scheme is that I have a tendency to LOSE things. Especially if they’re expensive.
Then, at the optician, I had my flash of brilliance. Or was it? I’ll let you be the judge.
I’d get TRANSITIONS glasses. Have you heard of these? Of course you have, they’ve been around for a while. The futuristic and wildly ingenious concept is that the glasses are CLEAR when it’s shady or dim, and DARK when it’s sunny and bright.
(If you are a generally shady or dim person, I guess they just stay clear)
I will get transitions lenses! I will have the best of both worlds!
(Are you beginning to see where the two plot lines converge here?)
So I picked out a pair of cute frames, did my ordering, and went on my way.
This weekend I got a call that my glasses were in. Hurray! Just in time for my trip to Chicago! I will get to enjoy the newly-found freedom from squinting provided me by my magical glasses.
Yeah. RIGHT.
I tried them on in the store. Cute. I like the frames.
I wore them out. And… what do you know? They started to transition when we got into the sunlight.
Here are the things I NOW know about transitions lenses:
a) they don’t get very dark
b) they’re preferred state of being is a shade BETWEEN clear and dark.
c) they’re basically TINTED GLASSES in disguise.
That afternoon I said to Jay, “I don’t think I like these glasses. I think they’re really dorky.”
His response? “You’re too old to be worried about things like that.”
TOO OLD? TOO OLD? TOO OLD? (deep breath… count to three… fuzzy bunnies fuzzy bunnies…)
Excuse me SIR, but I must inform you that
I am NOT TOO OLD.
Let’s have a look at some people who are the SAME AGE as me, shall we? And then we can make a judgment about whether I am TOO OLD to worry about my appearance.
Do you see any of THEM wearing tinted glasses, despite their decrepit state of ADVANCED AGING?
So I have the glasses. And as far as the transitioning part goes, they do make a certain sort of sense.
The only question IS, are they too dorky to wear?
I’ll let YOU be the judge.
Here’s what they look like when ‘Clear’: (note that even when “clear” they still have a subtle tint perfect for making you look like you have bags under your eyes)
Here’s how I look when they’re ‘Dark’:
Here’s how I look when they’re ‘In-between’:
What do you think?
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Mother. Coffee drinker. Information seeker. Skeptic. Creative. Dreamer. Schemer. Absolutely Bananas.
By shauna on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I love the glasses–clear and tinted! I’m headed to the eye doctor next week. I just may be getting me some of them there glasses (and you’re definitely NOT TOO OLD — did your husband loose the script?)
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By JaniceNW on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I knew they were never as clear as the commercial showed. They’re okay. I got the kind of sunglasses that attach magnetically to my reg glasses. My mom did tinted lenses…so I rather doubt I ever will.
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By Jennifer aka Binky Bitch on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
You are hilarious! Pure comic genius to include that last picture!!
How did you have time to do this post…are you supposed to be leaving for BlogHer?!
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By Mamma on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
Damn! You’re a puppy.
Tell your husband you’re not old, I am.
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By Carla on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I really like the inbetween! Cool.
Seriously, they look nice. Clear and dark. I am old, you however are not.
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By bellevelma on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
My husband got a pair of those recently. Gotta tell ya, not my fav. In the sun they look like normal sunglasses but indoors they always look slightly grey (his do anyway). I swear they weren’t like that when he first got them either. It’s like once they turned dark they can’t go completely back - like a suntan that doesn’t completely fade.
Anyway, you’re not too old and the glasses look nice on you. Both ways.
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By Smiling Mom on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
You are SO FUNNY. I feel like the freaky girl who idolizes her cooler, more hip friend!
By the way, I’ve stopped thinking your hubby is amazing. (momentarily) You need to pop him in the side of the head a few times for making a comment like that! ;-)
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By Jen on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
They look a wee bit tinted lensish to me. And I say that as someone who came thisclose to getting pink tinted lenses in 5th grade. (I shudder even thinking about it now.) They’re really cute frames though!
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By goodolejune on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I should look so dorky! And, uh, how old is (italic,underline,bold)HE?
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By Jo Beaufoix on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
If you’re old then I’m old and I’m definitely not old.
And I think the third picture looks best. There’s a real air of maturity to it.
Note I say maturity, not age.
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By Erin on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
Too, too, too funny! You crack me up. I haven’t found any time to update my blogroll (what with all the reading and the laughing) so I just come at you from Shauna’s link. My 4 year old has glasses and we got a back-up pair tinted into sunglasses. So he looks like a little 4 year-old blind man. YOu however look HOT! Keep us laughing (with you of course!)
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By Rebecca on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
If you want to get other pairs of sunglasses and not have to worry about them, you should visit Glassy eyes’s blog. This dude who hated spending so much on glasses so he reviews superduper cheap online eye glass places. Now he orders cheap prescription sunglasses whenever he wants and doesnt worry about losing or breaking them.
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By Cathy on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I’m quite certain you are, at most, my age. More likely, younger.
And WE ARE NOT OLD!!!
Yet.
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By andi on Jul 25, 2007 | Reply
I like the tinted look. Even though I continued to be scarred by 80’s fashions, this is one I don’t mind. And I agree with Jennifer (let’s face it - I rarely disagree with her) - that last pic was comic genius, indeed.
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By Michelle on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
I have the transition lenses as well and they don’t work in the car.
I have prescription sunglasses and have had them for several years now. I used to be the person who lost their $5 sunglasses all the time and would sometimes leave them on my seat to only sit on them the next time I got in the car. Something about spending so much money on a pair of sunglasses that makes you take extra care of them.
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By summershine on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
I think the tinting look fine. The frames fit your face well too.
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By Lene on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
hehe
I am not a fan of the transitional lenses for the very reason you posted that last picture. I don’t like that look.
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By For the Love... on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
Bwhaaaahaaahaa—too funny!
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By kellypea on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
My junior high sun glasses were humongously round and had bright orange-yellow lenses. Hmmmm…sun + bright orange-yellow. They didn’t shade much. And my husband has those transition lenses. His are almost completely clear inside…there’s no color at all. And if you aren’t 40, I don’t wanna hear the whine about your age. Bwahahahaha!
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By Jenn on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
The frames are fabulous for you. But the lenses…mmmmm…not so much. I had a pair of Transition lenses and they lasted all of one week before I ditched them. I hated the way they were never entirely clear and I really dislike some inanimate object deciding when I needed some shading.
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By Rachel on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
I like them both ways! I think they look great on you!!
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By sam on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
Hahahahaha! The last picture is priceless! I think you look great
I’ve never been a fan of transition lens for me personally, but my parents both have them and swear by them.
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By Worker Mommy on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
OMG, I’m pretty sure I just peed my pants
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By LikeAstaR on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
I thought this was the coolest concept when I first the ads for them. I am a HUGE sunglass wearer– I can’t stand to squint and ALWAYS have a pair on in the day outside. But I have to be honest with you.. now that I have seen these around town, these are not as cool as I had hoped. (I am not a glasses wearer, besides sun). I prefer bigger sunglasses, and it kind of wigs me out to watch “the transition” take place when you come inside. The frames looks really good on you though!
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By Mert on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
I really like the style of the glasses, I think that makes all the difference.
My husband has pictures of himself as a teen with huge Sally Jesse glasses that turned brownish every time a camera flash went off… now that is hideous! :D
I really like your new shades.
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By Karen on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
My glasses aren’t the changing ones, but I have integrated sunglasses that have magnets and stick on my frames. They are awful! The styles now are so small that they aren’t big enough from keeping the sunshine out from the sides or top! They’d only work if I was looking DIRECTLY at the sun, but even then they are barely tinted enough to block out any light from head on. Worthless. I haven’t worn the sunglass part ALL SUMMER!
My MIL got me those big black wrap around sunglasses that go OVER my glasses…..
that’s a whole ‘nuther story! Talk about looking OLD!
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By Mrs. Flinger on Jul 26, 2007 | Reply
HAHAHAHAHA. Love this post. And I saw someone with skinny jeans just the other day and DIED.
NOOooOOOOOOO
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By Brillig on Jul 27, 2007 | Reply
You know, I can hardly get past the fact that you’re currently at BlogHer having the time of your life. It’s difficult for me to comment on your glasses because of this. (Though, honestly, I like them. But my experience with them has been similar–they’re always sorta tinted which really doesn’t work for me…)
(Hope you’re livin’ it up and BlogHer right now… I’m trying to live vicariously, so be sure to send all the details!)
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By Maureen on Jul 27, 2007 | Reply
LOL!!! Yeah, not a big fan of that “in-between” stage ….
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By nell on Jul 27, 2007 | Reply
I love yours! Almost as much as I love mine. I had the same problem, with the losing things and the non-prescription sunglasses, but I love my tinted glasses.
Then again, I’m a huge dork, so, I’m probably not the best person to ask about optical (or any other kind of) fashion.
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By creative-type dad on Jul 27, 2007 | Reply
You crack me up!
BTW- are you dissing “Debra” Gibson?!?!?!?!!!!!!!
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