Counting down and making lists

July 23, 2007 – 7:32 am

Into the great wide open
Under them skies of blue
Out in the great wide open
A rebel without a clue

In just a few short days I’ll be boarding the airline I swore never to fly again to soar off into the great blue yonder. Well, Chicago, actually. But first we’ll be herded like cattle to fight till death for the coveted window seat… because really, seat assignments are just WAY too much work.

I’ll be joining throngs of bloggers of the XX variety. Not ‘XX’ as in oh-boy-is-she naughty (although some of them ARE!) but ‘XX’ as in two X chromosomes. Chicas. La Femmes. WOMENS.

For the record, here is a list of all the things I’m hoping to get out of BlogHer:
*By “hoping to get out of” I mean, “I swore up and down that I WOULD learn there when convincing my husband the expense was worthwhile”

  • How to make millions of dollars and retire at a very young age through blogging. (isn’t this what we’re ALL hoping to learn? Of course it is.)

Well, now I can’t think of anything else. I guess there’s just the one thing, actually.

So before I go there are a few things I need to get done.

  1. Laundry. That’s right, while other bloggers are debating the perfect shoe or how many couture outfits to pack, I am merely worried about having the correct number of clean underwear. I may not be voted Most Beautiful or Best Dressed, but at least I won’t stink.
  2. Research location. The last time I was in Chicago was like six years ago, and I had a (practically) broken ankle and never left the Hotel Monaco. So, although I’m sure it’s a wonderfully exciting city, I wouldn’t know based on my time there. I need to find out KEY RESTAURANTS, HOT SHOPPING LOCALES, and of course, DIRECTIONS TO OPRAH’S HOUSE (I’m sure once she knows I’m there she’ll invite me for tea.)

  3. To do lists and schedules for Jay. Since my dearest of darling husbands will be flying solo while I’m gone, I must prepare him for the wildness of at-home parenting. How could he survive without detailed maps to soccer and gymnastics, tips and tricks for summer camp drop-off, and phone numbers for emergency playdates?

  4. Memorize faces, names, and URLS of all bloggers attending conference. As I envision myself as wildly popular and surrounded by hoards of laughing and adoring new bosom friends, I must be prepared! Really, I had intended to start this exercise 16 years ago, but unfortunately I was only 13 at the time and the Internet hadn’t been invented (well, practically). So I have a good excuse there. Why didn’t I start a month or so ago? Well, I do tend to procrastinate. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m sure it’d be ok to start on this tomorrow. Or the next day.

  5. Brush up on social graces. Again with the wildly popular… I think it’d be useful to learn how to a) talk to people I don’t know, b) say something interesting, c) work a room, and d) sound intelligent or AT LEAST form recognizable words. “Glug woggle sputter bleg” doesn’t tend to impress the masses. Do you think it’ll help my image if I quote famous people, poets, and scholars? Of course it will! That leads me to my next must-do item…

  6. Re-read and commit to memory all the works of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, and Keats. Additionally, memorize witty quotes from world leaders and other assorted famous people like Angelina Jolie and Mother Theresa.

Wow. This stuff it exhausting! Are you tired? I’m feeling TIRED! I think that, for tonight, I only have time for one thing.

To bed…

…to sleep, perchance to dream…

That’s from HAMLET, which is by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, in case you didn’t recognize it. See, I’m already 90% THERE!!!

***
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15 Responses to “Counting down and making lists”

  1. By bellevelma on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    That’s a lot to do so to save you some time I’ll share this tip: You son’t have to memorize all of Shakespeare. Just throw lots of “methinks, doth, perchance, and out out damn spot” into your speech and people will be impressed. At the very least they’ll think you’ve watched all of Kenneth Branagh’s films.

    [Reply to this comment]

  2. By Mama Zen on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Just don’t mix up your Shakespeare with your Paris Hilton-isms and you should be fine!

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  3. By Amy on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    I read the latest InStyle magazine. Must be prepared with my celebrity style sense, you know. (gag)

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  4. By karrie on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    I’m decidedly lowkey–and my clothing choices will reflect–but I’m with you on the underwear. I was just brushing my teeth and wondering if I have enough good bras. “Good” meaning bras that hoist the flap-n-boobies up above my knees.

    See you soon!

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  5. By Brillig on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Okay, I’m so incredibly jealous now. You’re going to have such a stinkin’ awesome time and I’m jealous of EVERYONE who gets to meet you and and hang with your wildly popular wordsworthian self.

    And, well, if you do learn that whole million-dollar-retire-early stuff, you will pass that on, right?

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  6. By creative-type dad on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    I’m not planning on making millions of blogging. Only BILLIONS!

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  7. By Oh, The Joys on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    I figure if I get a good night’s sleep it will all have been worth it.

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  8. By Janine @ Moving Mama on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    What is going to happen to the mommy blogging world while this behemoth conference is going on - - Aaack!?

    (note to newbies: I’m organizing a secretive take-over of the mommy blogging world while the more experienced bloggers are on hiatus)

    :)

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  9. By Slackermommy on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Very similar to my list! Looking forward to meeting you. We can sputter unintelligible words to each other. Love the last photo! Can I borrow?

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  10. By Worker Mommy on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Yet, another person to be jealous of.

    Have a fabulous time!

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  11. By Lisa on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Oh YEAY! I can’t wait to meet you! You’re on my list of people I’m DYING to meet!

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  12. By gorillabuns on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    my only goal is to keep my black pants clean and supress my need to cuss like a sailor.

    i’m guessing this is the way you win “new friends and influence people.”

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  13. By Shauna on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    Last on the list: Pack Shauna in my suitcase so she can come too!

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  14. By andi on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    If Shauna’s in your suitcase, will you still have room for me? I’m so, so jealous. Maybe we can meet there next year when I’m not stuck with caring for this silly newborn?

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  15. By shauna on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply

    There seem to be two camps: 1) The what-to-wear camp and the 2) Oh-so-jealous camp. I’m in the second camp. sniff, sniff. But next year, baby, Blogher or bust! Enjoy!!

    [Reply to this comment]

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