Bribery where you least expect it
July 20, 2007 – 4:05 pmYesterday afternoon I was *trying* to talk on the phone. CJ decided that this would be the perfect time to make a ridiculous amount of racket, attack mommy, and destroy things around the house. Mommy’s on the phone, so she can’t do anything about it, right? WRONG!
I AM THE MOTHER! YOU WILL BEHAVE ON MY WATCH OR ELSE! In keeping with this mantra, I deposited CJ on his bed to wait out the timer. As is so often the case, his creative little mind was still at work.
The stage: CJ sitting on his bed. I am standing just outside the door where he can’t see me. (I have to be vigilant to ensure that he doesn’t get off the bed.)CJ: mommy?
Me: Darn it! he knows I’m here! [Aloud] CJ, no talking to mommy when you’re in a time-out.
He peers over the edge of his bed. I see he has his yellow Sponge Bob wallet in his hand.
CJ: Mommy, I will give you FOUR DOLLARS when you tell me I can get up.
I run away as fast as I can so that he doesn’t hear the laughing…
The timer went off five minutes later, and I sat down with CJ to talk about A: why he was in a timeout (TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD NAUGHTINESS), and B: what he could do differently next time (NOT SO MUCH WITH THE NAUGHTINESS). After an apology and a hug, he was off the bed.
I wander into the kitchen, and a minute later he follows, wallet in hand. Carefully, he counts out four coins from his wallet. “There you go, mommy” he says, “four dollars for you.”
Okaaaayyyy….
Does he think that his bribery WORKED? Is this something I need to talk about? And how do you keep from LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY in the face of such behavior?
So, I decide to take the easy way out, pocket the money, and change the subject.
But now I wonder… was this the wrong approach? Am I unknowingly creating a future politician? Because what with the bribery, the negotiation, and the smooth-talking, he could be REALLY successful in that line of work!
***
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By bellevelma on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Just a little tip from one mom to another: if you are going to be bribed in the future you must demand MORE money from the kid! I told Snags he had to pay me $25 dollars to take him to the library last night. He said he only had $19 so I agreed to drive him but he now owes me $6.
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By mrsmogul on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
I would ask for a bribe for a spa massage certificate! Hehe thats cute, my little one doesn’t know what coins are yet, he would probably hand me pieces of corn dog from his mouth.
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By Kimberly on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
I’d probably discourage the bribery. At least, in the form of money. Maybe - you can come out of time out if you dust the living room/scrub the kitchen floor/etc…?
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By Karen on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Wow, he’s clever. I could understand why you’d have to run away to laugh. I couldn’t have kept a straight face either!
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By shaz on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
wow, I am impressed, or ummm, slightly disturbed - I am not sure which yet. ;)
he’s a smarty pants though!
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By DebMomOf3 on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
LOL, that is too funny! I’m not sure I would’ve kept the money, but I like Kimgerly’s idea… ;)
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By Jennifer aka Binky Bitch on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Four measley bucks??? Surely you could’ve gotten him for ten!!! At least.
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By summershine on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
I would have had to stifle my laughter too.
No trying to bribe mom over here yet although I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. A very short time no doubt.
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By Susie on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Ha ha ha! Kids come up with the craziest things. Unfortunately, mine never did the bribery route, but if she had, I would milk it for all it was worth. I think almost 12 is too late to start seeing bribery from her.
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By pixie on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Hmmm… where does he get this from? Cleverness must run in the family…
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By Alex Elliot on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
I don’t know the answer to that one, but your post is hilarious!
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By moosh in indy. on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Start him young, just make sure he remembers MAMA IS BOSS.
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By shauna on Jul 20, 2007 | Reply
Oh, that CJ. He’s a charmer–first with the pretty compliments, now with the money… I can’t wait to read what this kid does next. (Can my kids take lesson? Because I’ll sign them up today.)
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By Jenn on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
Bribery works for me and I take bribes, but always, always negotiate a higher price and then act as if I’m being completely put out by such a measly little bribe.
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By Mert on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
LOL!Bribery… my daughter tries to get the upper hand by thinking she can barter with me.
“If you put me in time out, we wont play candy land for 3 hours straight like I wanted.”
Oooooh, as tempting as that seems? I think I’ll risk it, thank you very much.
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By Slackermommy on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
I’m not above bribes. Whatever works is my motto!
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By Janine @ Moving Mama on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
Oh - he should meet my 5 year old. He offers me small change (yes, just quarters - must think I’m cheap) all of the time for favors - oops, does this mean he’s figured out that sometimes I bribe him to do things for me? Aacck! I’m one of those parents :)
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By Jo Beaufoix on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
That is so funny.
And atleast he doesn’t welch on a deal…
LOL
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By andi on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
That is awesome. It’s about time they started paying us.
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By Mama Zen on Jul 21, 2007 | Reply
And all this time I’ve been settling for kisses!
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By LikeAstaR on Jul 22, 2007 | Reply
You HAVE to be proud of that kind of creativity! You KNOW he sat there and though, “okay.. how do I get out of this…hmm..” My brother has a daughter who will be a future politician as well. Very smart, and an absolute hoot! Your blog always makes me laugh!
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By Cathy on Jul 22, 2007 | Reply
Unbelievable! He is good, I tell you. Frighteningly good.
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By Slick on Jul 22, 2007 | Reply
I’m voting for him in a few years!
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By moodswingingmommy on Jul 23, 2007 | Reply
I’m almost peeing my pants here! Boy are you going to have your hands full in a couple of years! Thanks for the heads up; only a matter of time before my negotiator tries that one.
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