The Wicked Witch of the West Rises Again!

June 18, 2007 by bananas

It’s true… that nasty, cackling, green-tinted woman who you love to hate, last seen smashed under Dorothy’s flying house… has made her return.
Que EVIL CACKLE… heee hee hee hee! I’ll GET YOU, my pretty!
But first, let me back up. My darling husband was on the road for part of last week… AGAIN… this time to Minnesota, land of lakes and, uh, malls. CJ and I do fine on our own for the most part, but I am mighty glad to see Jay back home in time for the weekend.

And then I had to go and get sick. Sore throat, runny nose, achy, miserable… totally no fair. So I was in a rather sour mood by the time Sunday rolled around. And oh, that’s right, it’s Father’s Day (groan).

Maybe if I pretend it’s not Father’s Day, everyone else will forget. And anyway, Jay’s not a big believer in these events, so he won’t be expecting anything, right?

Wrong.

The morning goes by fairly smoothly. I get up and make homemade pumpkin muffins, mutter “happy father’s day” under my breath at Jay, and get on with the day. He spends the morning with his new hedge trimmer while CJ watches breathlessly. (isn’t a hedge trimmer sort of a present? I mean, he’s a guy, right?!)

It wasn’t until lunchtime when we were all seated round the table that the witch fully made her appearance.

Jay: I know what I want for Father’s Day!

Me: (cringing) Oh, really?

Jay: Yeah! I want a Wii…

Me: (rolls eyes) How much do THOSE cost?

Jay: Around $250

Me: we don’t HAVE $250

Jay: But I thought it’d be something fun that I could do with CJ. They have these really cool kids games with bunnies and mushrooms…

Me: (rolls eyes again) Oh please. Like CJ would be interested in that for more than 5 minutes. He doesn’t play the video game we already bought him! It’d be just another thing for you to waste your time on.

Jay: (sighs) Ok. I just thought it’d be a fun Father’s Day gift

Me: (stifling a gag at the reference to Father’s Day) Well, you can’t just bring it up and expect to go buy it in the same day

Jay: (shoulders slumped dejectedly) I know.

Me: And what kind of a name is “wii” anyway??

Yes, I’ve finally done it… crossed the line into MEANEST WIFE IN THE WORLD territory. My husband, an all-around A+ top-notch guy, had to spend Father’s Day giftless, brunchless, doing yard work, watching our son, and then finally doing dishes. And then I went and crushed his dream. Does it GET any worse than this?

She’s a cold-hearted snake, look into her eyes, oh uh-oh… Ooh ooh witchy woman… She’s a MAN EATER. Heart breaker, love taker, don’t you mess around with me. Ooh ooh witchy woman…

And now this witchy woman is feeling guilty. Remorseful. Rather mean. Sort of like a heel, really.
Say goodbye to the Wicked Witch… (cackle cackle NOOOooooo)
Ok, she’s gone.
Now… is there any way that this can be FIXED? What would be better than a Wii? humm dee humm…
AHA!
Goodbye Wicked Witch, HELLO XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!


How’s THAT for a transformation?

Father’s Day may not be so bad after all!

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18 Comments

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  1. An Ordinary Mom
    June 18, 2007 at 4:34 am

    You are too funny! Does he get to get the Wii? My sisters just got one for their birthday. I had no idea what it was :) !!

  2. Chris
    June 18, 2007 at 5:19 am

    So did he get one? LOL. They are a lot of fun and do have some really kick butt games. But I’m that kinda chic ;-)

    And don’t worry about it..we all have those kinda days. He still loves ya ;)

  3. Absolutely Bananas
    June 18, 2007 at 6:27 am

    since everyone wants to know… no, he didn’t get the wii (xena said no)… yet

  4. Mama Zen
    June 18, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    You’re not so bad; you made muffins!

  5. reevesfarm
    June 18, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    LOL! My husband wanted to rent and watch season 1 of Lost. “But honey, there are like 24 hours worth of shows” I think he thinks that until we finish this marathon that any time spent watching Lost is actually Father’s Day. Hummmmmm….

  6. Karen
    June 18, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Dh wanted a Wii and I fought it for quite some time. After all, how many game systems had we had in the past? Finally, I relented, spent 4 hours on the floor of a wal*mart to wait for their release, and I LOVE it!!! LOVE the Wii Sports.
    And now I can make crude jokes to hubby like “have you played with your Wii today?” or “Careful you don’t play with your Wii too much!” ;)

  7. Annie
    June 18, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    You made muffins! You were way ahead of me yesterday.

  8. Jenn
    June 18, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    You and I were wicked witches together! My hubby also spent Father’s Day doing yardwork….and I’ve refused to give in to a Wii for quite awhile now. As if he doesn’t have enough electronics to keep him busy already!

  9. Brillig
    June 18, 2007 at 6:40 pm

    (I just have to throw in that I played the Wicked Witch of the West in a stage version of Wizard of Oz. I think it’s one of my favorite roles EVER.)

    Hello, muffins? That’s WAY more than my hubby got! He’d “forgotten” mother’s day, so I didn’t feel the pressure to get him anything great for father’s day, and I think we enjoyed it a lot more this year than when we’re stressing out over what to get each other.

    And oh, how I love your photoshopping.

  10. Cathy
    June 18, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    Muffins? You made muffins?

    You’re already ahead of me in the saintly wife efforts!

    Love, love, love the photoshopping — hilarious!

  11. Shauna
    June 18, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Jay: Be thankful for muffins. Gavin got nothing. Except Elise sneezed on him and her boogers landed on him.

  12. moosh in indy.
    June 19, 2007 at 2:10 am

    GIRL, I forgot my husband’s birthday the second year we were married.
    I didn’t really care,
    I’ll take my witchy wife title back, thank you.

  13. Midwest Mommy
    June 19, 2007 at 2:15 am

    Trust me the wii isn’t that great. Hubby had to have it for Christmas and after playing it only a few times I finally sold it on ebay about a month ago!

  14. Carla
    June 19, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    HA! Your husband was in my neighborhood. Gotta love MN.

  15. Queen Heather
    June 19, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    The wicked witchy wife comes out at times, even in the best of us! But I do believe in make-up-for-it gifts. But I think the Wii’s are cool so I’m not much help

  16. www.nolanotes.com
    June 19, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    my hubs just came home with a Wii onen day. So at least Jay ASKED for one. The bunnies game, I hate to admit, is pretty fun. Plus, if you are watching someone else play, it’s pretty funny ’cause they look so silly! Give in and get it for him.

  17. kellypea
    June 19, 2007 at 11:48 pm

    You are hilarious! I wanna know how to do that! I should quit whining and take a writing day off, huh? It’s easy right — that photoshop thing? So cool!

  18. Cate
    June 20, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    I’m sorry that you felt crappy for father…but you still made muffins! So don’t feel like hubby got nothin’!

    MMMmmmmI want a Wii! For the boys, of course!