I will be fit! I will be flexible! I will be fabulously calm and enlightened! I have a pretty purple mat AND a tight shirt that will NOT fall over my head to reveal my belly during ‘downward facing dog’!
Welcome to the second installment in my adventures in yoga. Or, perhaps better labeled, my misadventures in yoga.
Second class is what I like to call a butt-kicker; one and a half hours of sheer torture. If I’m not mentally screaming “Ow! my ankle!” it is “Oh, my hip!” or “Oy! my wrists!” Why I pay good money to be guided into severely unnatural positions that cause every muscle and tendon to howl BLOODY MURDER is beyond me. Yet the truth is I find it oddly satisfying… After class I walk home in what might even be called a relaxed state (me? relaxed? who knew it was possible?!). It may even be an enlightened state. As it turns out, it’s definitely a tipsy state.
I don’t know if it is the severe muscle fatigue brought on by too much “sun salutations” and “warrior 2″ or if it’s the effect of too much meditation on my rather mushy mind, but soon after arriving home, I find myself having a close encounter with the kitchen floor.
Here’s how it went down. I’m sitting at my computer (yep, straight from yoga to blogging… how sad is that?) when I stand up to fix some salad for dinner. In the middle of my path is a cardboard box full of recycling. My foot catches, and I feel myself start to fall. As if in slow motion I tumble down, trying to catch myself on the wall… the counter… the door frame… each attempt unsuccessful. Until THUMP I find myself back in “flat on the mat” … except this time there’s no mat, just the cold, hard, wow-there’s-a-lot-of-crumbs-down-here kitchen floor.
From downstairs, Jason hears wham BAM THUD! And thinks Oh dear, Jen’s gone down.
Racing up the stairs, he hopes it’s not a stroke.
The sight of my bare feet sticking out from the kitchen doesn’t exactly boost his confidence, and I hear a tinge of fear in his voice when he calls out, “Jenny? Can you speak?”
Meanwhile I am lying on my back, contemplating the ceiling, and considering an Ohm as a way to relax and recover. Instead, I let Jason help me up.
Next week, I think I’ll spend a bit more time on the couch after class.
Namaste.
***
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May 7, 2007 at 3:32 am
I’ve tried yoga class once in my life. Although I’m sure it’s good for your health, relaxation blablabla – I felt everything but relaxed after the class ! Seriously, do they expect us to be *that* flexible ??? ;-)
Just found your blog through Spicypage BTW, love it !
May 7, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Yikes, ouch! Lay on that couch girl – if you were like me you wouldn’t need to find an excuse to do that lol!
May 7, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Check out the latest vanity fair magazine. There are some photos of yogis. Some “outtakes” from the shoots can be seen at:
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/06/yoga_slideshow200706
The magazine has one photo that makes me go, wow, how the hell did he do that. Oh, that’s how you avoid the shirt malfunctions, you don’t wear one.
May 7, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Hahahaha. Oh, you poor thing. I laughed so hard at this post–I’m so sorry to be laughing at your pain. Namaste back atcha, hon. Hahaha.
May 7, 2007 at 6:15 pm
your not hurt, right? So it’s okay if I laugh? So funny, sounds like something I would do.
May 7, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I’m not laughing AT YOU, just the situation!
Yoga gets better, promise. Not that I’ve done any downward dogs lately!
May 7, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Have you ever done the “hot” yoga? In the dark, breathing all that hot air. I don’t know how I made it home, I was so out of it, and could barely walk even the next day.
Nope, I’m a drop out. Sad, but true.
May 7, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Sorry, but I keep laughing.
Okay. I’ve stopped.
hee hee.
Okay, I haven’t. :)
But, I agree with Jennifer. Yoga does get better.
May 7, 2007 at 11:27 pm
It sounds like you weren’t seriously hurt so I hope you don’t mind if I laugh a little. Don’t feel bad I slipped down the stairs on my butt and I was laughing and hurting at the same time.
Oh and I’m tagging you so check my post titled I’ve been tagged-I know original, anyway let me know-Chow.
May 7, 2007 at 11:48 pm
ooh….yeah I did yoga when I was preggers with no. one..because that is the kind of thing you have time for when you are expecting your first.
The site of all these HUGE women doing downward facing dogs..was em disturbing.
May 8, 2007 at 12:08 am
Wow 90 minutes of class? That would kick my butt too.