Mamma Mia

Me & my mom in Kenai Alaska

One night, when I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was lying in bed when the realization hit me: one day I would grow up and live away from my mom. It was an overwhelming and terrifying thought. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I didn’t want to grow up and be alone… I wanted to stay a little girl living with my mom and dad forever.

Quickly, I got out of bed and wandered through the quiet house, snuffling and rubbing at the tears that had started to well up in my eyes.

I found my mom in the basement. I don’t remember what she was doing, but I know that she dropped it and wrapped me in her arms. Then she carried me to the big brown rocking chair that creaked and squeaked when it rocked, the special place where she always rocked me when I was sad or sick or hurting. She held me close and rocked me, patted my hair and kissed my head, and I knew that everything would turn out ok.

My childhood was a perfect one. Really. I don’t mean to pretend that every second was happy, because of course there were sad days, and times when I got so mad I thought I’d explode, and the moments when I shouted “NO FAIR” at the top of my lungs and meant it. But these are just part of growing up. I say my childhood was perfect because even if I could, I wouldn’t change anything.

My sister and I had it all. We didn’t have as many toys as a lot of kids, and I never did get the Barbie mansion that I always dreamed of. But we had more than those things. We had a mother who was there, always there.

My mother loved me, she respected me. She cultivated in me a deep imagination, a natural inquisitiveness, and sense of fun that made every day an adventure. Nothing that mattered to me, no matter how small, was ever silly to my mom. And I knew that I could do anything that I put my mind to, because my mom believed it. I am who I am today because of my mom.

I don’t tend to be a very expressive person; the things that matter most to me usually go unsaid. But I want my mother to know how much I love her, and to know that I think she’s the best mom in the whole world. I just hope that I can be like her, the kind of mother that she is.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom! I love you!

Me and my mom- could the smiles be any bigger?

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