I am the laughing stock of our entire neighborhood

I think I’m generally a good person. Friendly, happy-go-lucky, nice, easy-going… So WHAT did I possibly do to deserve THIS?!

Ok, let me back up. (deep breath)

CJ has a new bike. A very cool new bike. He loves it, usually… until he’s around his friend’s bike, at which point he breaks down in tears and hysteria because his FRIEND’S bike is SO MUCH COOLER than his. Oh no, not because it’s actually a way better bike that cost twice as much (although you’d think that would be the reason). It’s actually far simpler. His FRIEND’S bike has a HORN. And herein lies the dilemma.

SO… last night we set out to get CJ a horn for his bike.

FOOL that I am, I put my dear husband in charge of the horn buying, while I bought a new cell phone, since mine no longer works. BIG, HUGE, ENORMOUS mistake.

Today I was introduced to the new horn.

It has a round bulbous end that flows into a trumpet shaped mouth. Squeeze the bulb and it emits the LOUDEST most goose-bump-inspiring, hair-raising sound you’ve ever heard. SQUEEEAAAKK ! Like an enormous squeaky toy, or a dying R.O.U.S. (Rodent Of Unusual Size, for those of you who didn’t follow the Princess Bride reference)… this is a truly horrifying sound.

So off we go, merrily down the sidewalk. We see a pedestrian… an old woman, hobbling along on her walker. SQUUEEEEEAAAKK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK! (am I liable if she dies from the shock?) fortunately THIS woman has a sense of humor and smiles at the cute little boy making all the noise.

Next we pass two mothers with little boys in tow. First little boy says to CJ, “Cool horn” (I am metaphorically slapping my forehead in dismay. the LAST thing he needs is encouragement!) SQUUEEEEEAAAKK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK! The moms can’t stop laughing. AT. ME. They are laughing at me. Heck, I’m laughing at me.

We get to the playground. It’s a rather LOUD but otherwise uneventful journey. I’ve had enough. I pull out my cell phone and dial Jay to share my feelings about his horn selection. But when he answers, he can’t hear me through the cacophony in the background… and he can’t stop laughing. I’m glad he finds it amusing. Let’s see how he feels when I use the new horn to WAKE HIM UP IN THE MORNING!

(I WILL have my revenge)

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