I like to play a little game when I’m bored… it involves looking at the Google search terms that led people to my blog, and trying to imagine WHAT these people were possibly looking for when they typed in such bizarre phrases. Sometimes I feel the urge to be “helpful” and make up answers to their questions-posed-as-search-queries so that NEXT TIME they’ll be more successful in their search. Play along with me, won’t you?
stupid bananas
Here we have someone who clearly is dealing with banana angst. Is he looking for other banana haters in the WWW in order to start a club, or an anti-banana revolution, or even an evil plot to scourge the world of this vile fruit? Well, whatever the cause, banana haters will not find a home here! Keep lookin’, my friend, keep lookin’.
halle berry’s bare feet
Here we have a fetish of a different sort.
stupid brushing teeth
hmm… this one stumps me a bit, I have to admit. Sure you may not LIKE brushing your teeth, but what could you be possibly looking for when you type a query like this into Google? A support group? Reasons NOT to brush your teeth? And anyway, do I use “stupid” that often in my posts? (just looked back through) yes, it appears that I do.
women who did weird things to uncover something
Not very specific, are we. Ok, here I’ll try and be helpful in case this confused soul ever returns…
Once I did “downward facing dog” and it uncovered my belly. That’s a weird thing, right?
husband peeing outside
Poor lady, you have troubles. I’m just hoping he doesn’t pee outside in public places.
the bad things about bananas
ANOTHER banana hater. You guys really should start a club.
bananas mucus
Again, I’m a bit stumped by this one. Seriously. Is there a joke here that I’m not getting? Otherwise I’m going to have to put this under the category of “the bad things about bananas”
weird things removed from the human body
Ummm, does A BABY count?
things to say to make a boy drool over you
Ok, HERE I can be helpful. Just try these:
“I’m cooking steak.”
“halle berry’s bare feet”
weirdest things and pictures of humans
This one is interesting, and in my mind proves one of two things:
1) there ARE aliens out there, and they’re searching the internet to look at pictures of “humans”, or
2) the chimps at that one hidden research facility have started sneaking onto the scientist’s computer in the dead of night and doing a little “research” of their own…
my hands are bananas words
You know, I’m gonna have to go with #2 above. Chimps on Google would explain queries like this one much better than anything I can come up with.
are bananas ok for dogs
Yes. (I think)
blog “my husband” bold bikini
As much as I’m sure EVERYONE would love to see shots of my husband in a bold bikini, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to abstain. Because you know if I were to do something like that, he might reciprocate by posting pictures of ME in a swimming suit. And THAT is a scary, scary thought.
why bananas mold
Um, well not to be rude but, DUH… because they’ve gone bad.
hoping bananas
aren’t we all?
“how to stand up straight”
Oh good, another one that I can help with. Place feet firmly on floor, straighten legs, point top of head towards ceiling.
things you dont know about bananas
1) they have mucus, apparently
2) they have a hate group
3) they mold
4) they’re ok for dogs. Or are they?
here’s hoping bananas…
***
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xo Jen
May 30, 2007 at 6:42 pm
This was absolutely hysterical. The FUNNIEST post I have ever read in a blog. I laughed til I was crying.
People are just weird…
May 30, 2007 at 8:12 pm
What on Earth are people thinking when they typr in these things?!?!
So funny Jenny!
May 30, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Thank you sooooo much for destryoing all remaining hope I had for the human race. =P
May 30, 2007 at 9:20 pm
The things people search sometimes.
You and I are on the same wavelength because I am doing this same theme for my next post :) !!
May 30, 2007 at 10:58 pm
You make me want to come up with funny things to google to see if I can find you….
May 31, 2007 at 2:12 am
Looks like you’ve cornered the market on banana searches…
These are funny!
May 31, 2007 at 5:01 am
I wonder if you could make a drink from banana mucous. Well, not you really. Anyone, in general. Would it taste more like banana, or mucous?
May 31, 2007 at 1:27 pm
So funny!
I love reading my searches too. I keep a list of the funny ones for a future post.
May 31, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Ahh…the searches people use amaze me. You should see some of the ones I get…whoo wee! PERVERTS!
Yes, dogs can eat bananas.
Just don’t feed them grapes. Seriously.
May 31, 2007 at 6:12 pm
OH Jenny! What a great post…you had me laughing not only at the silly searches but your commentating!
May 31, 2007 at 6:42 pm
I hope my daughters never find out about banana mucus, they already fuss every time I ask them to eat one!
June 1, 2007 at 1:30 am
blog “my husband” bold bikini
Now that’s odd. Those are so funny!
June 1, 2007 at 3:29 am
I just found your blog last week and am loving it. You’re so witty, it’s hysterical. This post was hilarious. Now I have to go Google some of those things to see what else they came up with, lol. Thanks for entertaining us.
June 1, 2007 at 5:20 am
I, too, L-O-V-E playing this game! Some of them are so darn weird!!!
You’ve got some good ones here!
June 2, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I’ve finally gotten around to reading this. :-) It’s very funny! I’ll have to go check what people are googling about me. :-)
June 2, 2007 at 5:18 pm
FUNNY! Ok, now I’m SO bookmarking your blog. As stated in another comment “poop” is the search term that comes up on our web stats frequently. My two all time favorites that have gotten people to our site are “my meth lab smells like cat urine” and “what is death by poison like?”