Absolutely Bananas: Seattle mom blog

Why we blog

Blogging is a funny thing. I started into it with a “why not… everybody else is doing it, let’s check this thing out” sort of attitude.

Then, after quitting my day job and finding myself in a full-on search for meaning, myself, and other minor topics, I was SUCKED IN. See, I’ve always loved to write. As a little girl, I wrote epic stories when other children were watching TV and debating the best Barbie. In grade school I would come in after class to share my binder of chapter books with the teacher. And I won contest after contest. I was positive that, when I grew up, I would be a writer. In fact, I had visions of being the first 10 year old, then 13 year old, then 16 year old best-selling novelist.

Somewhere between high school and college, these dreams (along with my imagination and most of my individuality) disappeared in the tragic desire to blend, get a boyfriend, and be like everyone else. Why do we subject ourselves to this? I honestly believe that most girls know more about themselves at 10 then at 20. Then we spend the next 10 years of our life “finding ourselves” until we reach 30 and actually start to remember who we are.

I remember one college professor in particular whose ambivalence was the nail in the coffin of my writing ambitions. It wasn’t that he disliked my writing, it was that he didn’t especially LIKE it. And so I gave up, never took another writing class, and stopped writing creatively altogether. I threw all my ambition and energy into a new, more corporate arena.

Looking back, I’m horrified that I gave up so easily. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a writer if I would let my dreams vanish so easily. If I couldn’t automatically (with very little effort) be the STAR, it wasn’t worth pursuing. This reminds me of an article that I read somewhere (I wish I could find it now!), that too much praise and success early on isn’t good for children… that it sets them up to expect easy success and to give up when they don’t get it. But I digress.

I got married, graduated college, kicked off my career, had a baby, struggled for three years to balance a demanding career with my child’s needs (compounded by a distinct lack of available quality childcare in the metro Seattle area), and finally decided that the satisfaction (and money) I was getting from my career wasn’t worth it after all. So I quit.

That was 2 months ago. In the past 8 weeks, I’ve had a lot of opportunity for self-reflection… perhaps too much. And I’ve learned some things about myself. First and foremost, that I love to write. I can’t stay away from blogging… I’m addicted. But it’s not ONLY the chance to write that has me hooked… it’s the fact that you actually have at least the POTENTIAL for a readership, for people who will read and appreciate your words and who will RESPOND. It’s miraculous. I can’t get enough.

And I’ve found other bloggers, people who face similar or different challenges, whose easy way with words and quick wit are inspirational. It’s a whole new world!

So why do we blog? I would guess that it’s different for everyone. Some clearly have a message that they are trying to get out there. Others are seeking money, fame, community…

For me, it’s the chance to write. And through writing, to know myself better. It’s also the chance to redeem my latent abilities, to get the encouragement and positive feedback that I need to work up the courage to take this writing thing to the next level… to a career (gasp).

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