Absolutely Bananas: Seattle mom blog

Scary

Maybe the scariest day of my life so far…
What started out as a nice, typical day went downhill quickly at about 3:00 this afternoon.

CJ and I walked over to the Greenlake Park. It was a sunny day with blue skies — perfect for playing outside. We kicked a soccer ball around, then played on the playground. Then over to the lake to throw stones into the water.

It was when we wandered out onto the dock that things quickly went from good to nightmarish.

I was walking behind CJ when we got to the end of the dock. As we reached the end, I reminded him to be careful, since he was running. But I didn’t worry too much– it’s a wide dock, and he wasn’t too close to the edge. And CJ is good about stopping at the end of the sidewalk… seems to know his boundaries, etc. etc.

I don’t know if he wasn’t watching where he was going or what, but I watched in horror as he ran right off the end of the dock. It’s my worst nightmare.

Next thing I knew I had jumped in the water (bracingly cold). I couldn’t see, so pushed my glasses up on my head and grasped for CJ, pulling him up above the water. The water was deep; I couldn’t reach the bottom. And I was waterlogged by heavy clothes and shoes. The dock was too high above me; I couldn’t hoist us onto it. Still without thinking (it’s crazy how you go into complete action mode, with no thought) I started shouting for help until some passersby heard me and came running over to pull us out of the water.

We were fine. Cold, but nothing that a warm bath couldn’t cure. And scared. CJ said, “I’m not going to walk there again.” Yeah, ditto.

The whole evening I’ve been in an odd state. I went from freezing to warm but nauseated to cold again to heart palpitatio to… an odd sense of having experienced a really terrifying dream.

The events keep playing over and over in my head, like the vivid nightmare that you just can’t shake. It makes me aware of the fragility of life. The sense of control that I carry with me is really just an illusion, and it’s events like these that make me realize how very little control I actually have.

I’m thankful that I know how to swim, that I was there, that I could get to CJ, and for all those people who came running to our rescue. That’s something I think I’ve always taken for granted– that if you shouted for help, people would care, they would come. But now I’m glad to know it’s true, and it renews my faith in humanity.

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