What have I done??!!

December 7, 2006 – 3:47 am

On Friday I did a rather unexpected thing. Unexpected for me, anyhow. If you know me, you probably already know that there are a few words or phrases that describe me:
1- Type A
2- Driven
3- Career oriented
4- Latent feminist tendencies

So the fact that I just quit my excellent, well-paying, upwardly-mobile job in order to be a STAY AT HOME MOM might seem a little off.

But really, it does make sense. I saw a card the other day that said “Now is the time to live your ideal life.” And I thought, this isn’t even close to my ideal life. I wake up, rush to get CJ ready for preschool, rush to get myself to work, rush to get my job done in 8 hours or less, rush home to try and rush dinner to rush CJ to bed and then rush around picking up. Then 5 hours of sleep… 6 if I’m lucky, and the whole mad dance begins again. There MUST be more to life than this.

Well, I guess I’m about to find out!

Never mind the “What have I done??!!” that runs through my head every time I think of our newly diminished finances. Never mind the feeling of supreme irritation that wells up every time I hear, “Yes, the woman’s place is in the home.” Never mind the terrified feeling in the pit of my stomach that I won’t be able to pull it off… that I somehow have a sick NEED for the gratification that work provides. This is something I am GOING to do.

So… to guide the next phase of my life…

I do solemnly swear that I will:

  • Focus on the things that I believe to matter… My health. My son. My family. My friends. Enjoying the little things in life.
  • Keep up with goings-on aside from mom stuff… The news. Politics. Science. Arts. My friends.
  • Make time to learn
  • Pursue new interests

I do solemnly swear that I will NOT:

  • Try to have the perfect house
  • Wear sweats and a ponytail every day of the week
  • Scrap book
  • Become obsessed with my child
  • Become a martyr

We’ll see how it goes.

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One Response to “What have I done??!!”

  1. By Mama Zen on Jul 6, 2007 | Reply

    This is great! I wish that I had done something like this when I made into SAHM world!

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